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7 entries categorized "Scandinavia"

August 05, 2007

Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm Syndrome

I want that blue and black hat like NOW. I need it for something. Oh, and the boots, too.

stockholm blue

Any Swedes out there who knows where I can get that specific hat???

September 09, 2006

3 Months...

3 Months...

Time flies so fast it's not funny at all. I have 3 months to lose weight, have an abortion to get rid of my grotesque fat ass and bulging gut, save $$$, lose weight, get a liposuction (calling the attention of Dr. Belo, please please please get rid of all my fat for FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE hahaha), lose weight, get a nosejob (ok I'm kidding), save $$$, buy new winter clothes and lose weight.

Continue reading "3 Months..." »

August 01, 2006

Swedish Military School and Espadrilles

Swedish Military School and Espadrilles

080106_annansWho knew all Swedish guys are required to go to Military School? Unless, of course, they come up with a lame excuse like "I'm afraid of the dark, forests and firearms." HAHAHA! No wonder all Swedish men turn gay when they get older (actually, all Swedish men are gay regardless of their age) and all Swedish women end up marrying foreigners. Take a look at Mrs. Nane Annan, wife of United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan. They're such a fabulous, fabulous couple.

The sad part is, it seems a lot of Swedes these days are marrying people outside Sweden. Case in point: all the Swedish old men who import wives from the third world. I have nothing against interracial marriages, afterall, mixed raced babies are the Chanel of babies, as Edina Monsoon once said. But please oh please, someone please save the Swedish gene pool. The world needs to preserve their kind so we'll have an abundant supply of eye candy for generations to come. Hahaha!

I chatted to my Swede lover boy/boy toy/boylette last night and he was worried about what to pack for military school. He took the train earlier this morning to another bumfuck middle-of-nowhere city for 1 year's worth of military education.


He's probably having dinner with his newfound military friends as I speak and by the time I finish with this blog entry, they'd be all congregating in the barracks to do one of those circle jerk things. The last one to shoot his load ends up eating the cum-covered cookie. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Continue reading "Swedish Military School and Espadrilles" »

May 21, 2006

Laxative Abuse and Debauchery

052006_djLaxative Abuse and Debauchery

My god. It's a little past 10PM on a Saturday and I just got up. My sleeping habits are fucked up again. I'm returning to my debauched and hedonistic old ways... I better keep an eye out on myself again.

I got home earlier this afternoon at around 3:30PM from a newfound acquaintance's house in the city. We spent the rest of the night chit chatting... I tried to go to sleep at 11AM but I was too buzzed with all the caffeine on my system from all the vodka red bull I took the night before.

I eventually slept at around 12:30Noon and got up at 2:00PM when my driver picked me up. I'm feeling really awful today. I think I need to catch up with my beauty sleep after this blog post. I'm supposed to go to a friend's birthday party tonight at this bar called Citrus but I don't think I have the energy to do so. RACHEL FUCKIN LOBANGCO HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SLUT! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Last night at M Cafe:


Sunglasses by Dior, t-shirt by Marni, coral necklaces by L'Obelisk (they were REAAAALY heavy), trousers by Kenzo, shoes by Kenzo, bag by Goyard.

Yesterday was fun fun fun! I decided to get a haircut on the last minute because it was just too HOT to have long hair. I don't know how girls can do it.

Here in Manila, I go to 3 salons to take care of my hair. I guess it's great to have an army of stylists at your disposal. I usually go to (Nilo or Glenn) at Fix salon in Festival Mall, Alabang for a quick trim/haircut, otherwise it's with Dennis of Franck Provost in Alabang for haircut, color and highlights and Henry Calayag of H Salon in Rustan's, Makati (if only he weren't too far...) who does the BEST job when it comes to color and highlights!

Pictures before the haircut:


(Don't ask what thing thing on my head is. I didn't know what I was thinking/channeling. Aviators by Cutler & Gross, tank top by Fake London, jeans by Diesel, bag from Goyard)

052006_teaIt's amazing how I look a little thin on that picture (just a little thin ... please don't deprive me a brief moment of delusional self-indulgence) but in real life I'm one obese mess. I gained 20 pounds this year along and I've only lost what? 2 pounds? I've been abusing green tea AND laxative tea the past week or two now. Yep. 4 cups of green tea and 2 cups of laxative tea every day. I must have gone to the shitter at least 3 times a day.

I may need to have a anal reconstruction surgery if I keep on doing this (and to be able to keep my job in the prostitution field). Let me tell you... my anus and my rectum is busted from all the shitting I've been doing recently.

Man, those chinese laxative teas, Gang Xiang and Kankunis are something... you can literally feel the tea working your stomach and intestines.

Here's another thin picture...


Ok.. I know I look thin but there's something wrong and bulky in my arms. That's one of my PET peeves.


I guess I'm not really fat afterall. It's just that I need to work on losing my tummy and my ass.


Don't worry... one day I'll be as thin as Hana Soukupova too.



All of the salons I mentioned are great. They're all unqiue and different from each other. If I want to be super pampered, I go to H Salon. You can book a private room and eat sushi from the cafe while getting your hair done. The only problem is the fact that it's too far (it's in the big city)... I'm only a little girl from the suburbian prairie.

Oh, btw, I even had a little shopping cart fun before having a haircut...



Looking at these pictures, my hair is soo jet black I need a touch of color soon!

Moving on... I went to Fix Salon yesterday because I'm on a time crunch. Besides, It's been quite awhile since I last had a haircut. The service is very friendly, fast and efficient... and cheap, too! Can you imagine, I got a haircut AND a manicure for a total of US$8 + tips???? Nothing can beat that!

Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shots

Oh my god I look soooo butch, masculine and scary. The only give-away that I'm a fucking homo is the fact that I'm carrying a US$1,690 Goyard white handbag.



Alright... my arms DO look enormous on that photo but set it in stone... it's either anorexia or nothing before the year ends! I like my new short hair though. I feel sooo clean!!!. Not bad eh? Now all I need is some color... and highlights..



After my haircut, I went home to change clothes then went straight to the big city. My nonsexual wife is back from Nueva York and I have to see her. I haven't seen her in a few months and I really missed her tons. She's looking pretty these days.



That girl keeps on getting more and more sophisticated every time I see her. It's amazing what money and a New York education can do eh? I'm kidding. Hoy Hannah Matronic let's have sex!

I can't wait to get married to Hannah. I don't care that she lusts (or should I say obsessed) over Filipino soap actors the same way I lust over aryan twinks with 12-inch dicks. Put the two of us together and I bet you our babies will end up looking like brown monkeys...who cares though. Brown monkeys in Chanel trump white trash babies in Hollister so there. Nya nyi nya nyi nya nya.


Our first stop for the night was Elian Habayeb's birthday at my usual haunt, M Cafe. You know how much I love that place. I even celebrated my 17th birthday party there 2 months ago and I dressed up like Donatella Versace. Hahaha!


By the way, Andy Prada if you are reading this, I know you want a Goyard wallet.... here's the one I was talking about. I found it on a Japanese site so I assume they got it from a Goyard concession in Japan... Isn't he lovely???? I love how they customized it with a skull. Maybe I should get a bright yellow Goyard trunk with a huge white uncut penis custom-painted. Now that would be something...

Photo credit: TheFashionSpot

Apres M, my friend Mariko and I went to Absinth/Absinthe bar where she introduced me to some of her friends. Very, very nice people. It REALLY IS NICE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. Let me just stress that I've never had this opportunity before and it's only in the past year that I've been meeting a people by the SHITLOAD.

We danced for a little bit then went to La Embajada. I brought a bottle of champagne with me in the car and it was soo hilarious... Hannah, Harvey and Mariko and moi were drinking bubbly out of plastic cups and we were just laughing around the parking lot. My driver must have thought we're insane!

We didn't stay at Emba for long. It's funny how I even saw this Swedish guy on the dancefloor. We talked for a little bit but we could barely understand each other because the music was sooo loud.

I chatted to one of my swedish friends online earlier and told him about it..

052006_bogBryanBoy:  'oh oh oh i met a swedish person last night
Bryanboy:  at the club
Simon: you did?
Bryanboy:  he is sooooooooo geeky looking
Simon: hahahahahha
Bryanboy:  YES! 
Bryanboy:  long blong hair, eyeglasses, tall, shirt, v-neck sweater... typical swedish look
Simon: hahaha
Bryanboy:  i told him RUNKBÖG and he laughed
Bryanboy:  but i think he's straight
Simon: wtf is a swedish guy doing in manila :D
Bryanboy:  vacation? i don't know... or he could be working for the embassy
Bryanboy:  there's a looooooooooooot of europeans at the club
Simon: cool
Bryanboy:  see it's funny
Bryanboy:  what the fuck is a filipino person doing all the way in bum fuck sweden
Bryanboy:  and vice versa
Bryanboy:  it's shocking isn't

To cut the story short, I cna't even remember what time we left the club. We met these 2 guys who are REAAAALY nice and friendly and hospitable... one of them is sooo fucking cute (sadly, he's straight) and chilled out at his place. We talked and talked and talked until god knows how long. I guess that's what happens when you only go to straight clubs and most of your friends are straight. Hahaha!

Last night was fun, nonetheless. It was amazing.

Enough about me. Coming up next, a huge ass Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax entry.

As always, I love you all. Email me. My email address is or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

Remember kiddies....



PS. Discuss this blog post here.

April 26, 2006

I'm getting bored...

I'm getting bored...

First things first... I'd like to give a big shout out to readers of Elle Girl magazine in the Netherlands. Thanks for loving and talking about me.



Ok. My Dutch is all wrong and that's what I get from using one of those online translator things. Hopefully y'all get the jist out of it. HAHAHAHA!

Moving on...

I finally managed to get my lazy fat ass to my dermatologists yesterday afternoon. There's a photo shoot I need to go to and I have to look pretty.

First stop: Coffee Bean

THANK god the whipped cream-serving bulldyke of a midget wasn't there. I don't want anyone to be spitting on my drink (unless they're cute, hot and rich... but then again, no cute, hot and rich person will work as a barista) after whingeing on my blog.

Just to be safe, I EXPLICITLY told the lovely lady behind the counter that I DO NOT WANT WHIPPED CREAM on my drink... my wish is her command.


Cardigan by LAROK, white tank top by Calvin Klein, brown/rust-colored jeans from Acne Jeans (Sweden), boots from Fruit, bag from Hermès, amber and gold necklace from Kenneth Jay Lane, sunglasses from Dior

Boy I got a surprise for all of you.

You see, I often get asked as to who takes my photos. In addition to my familia de horreur members and friends, well, let me unveil one of them. Meet my maid, Eunice.


Eunice has been my maid for quite some time and she's the best, best, best friend a faggot like me can ever have. She's got everything about me memorised. She knows some of my deepest, darkest secrets. She's been with me through obesity and thin and up to this day, I've never heard a single word (.. or grunt) from her in spite of everything that she's done for me, like cleaning up all my puke on the bathroom floor after a good night out... or  my soiled, skid mark-infested underwear.

My nonsexual wife anorexic daughter Hannah would complain about her "hunchback" maid, Simang, every once in a while.

HOY HANNAH, at least your maid ain't a lesbian!!!

Today's obligatory paparazzi shot.042506_paparazzi

I have a feeling my maid Eunice might be a lesbo. I've never seen her show any kind of perverted emotion towards guys.

OK... WAITTTTT.. she thinks that Piolo (spelling?) Pascual Filipino actor guy is cute.


She won't believe me when I told her that he's gay like a row of pink camping tents.

Oh well.


So yeah, I had my usual glycopeel cleaning/extraction facial.

For the first time in ages, I didn't feel any pain today. God knows why. I usually have low tolerance for pain, expecially while having a facial done. I know I scream like a pregnant prostitute bitch in labor every time my aesthetician extracts a white head from one of my blocked pore.

Today's lack of pain made me think about things I don't usually think about on a day-to-day basis.

For instance, sometime last week, I told a friend on how I'm starting to get bored. I expressed my desire to experience something new, like, learn a new skill or take up cooking classes.

She suggested that we learn a foreign language together... take up French at one of those Alliance Francaise centers. I told her sure, why not. We even checked the availability online and the session that we want won't start until October. There's a 3rd and 4th session but we're both planning to travel around June/July/August.

While the lady pricked my face, I realized I'm at that stage where everything is just stagnant. I'm turning into a stale, 20-something.

I mean, I know I've changed tremendously in the past 12 months. However, if I look at it on a different perspective, it feels as if I'm not going anywhere. My life's at a standstill and I'm doing the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

I told my friend this and she thinks "I've gone so far and achieved so much already".

042606_facial1I remember the old times when I used to deny myself from owning to what I've achieved in order to delude myself into thinking I have a tiny bone of humility inside me.

But I still can't can't help but ask myself the $64 million question.


Let's face it, I won't deny that all I do is shop, shop, shop, work, work, work, shop, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, work, eat, eat, eat, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world.

It's gotten to the point where it's like a routine.

Shit, it's MY routine.

Everything used to be fun. Every time I get a material 'acquisition'...a  bag, a jacket, everything... it brings a genuine smile to my face and I feel soo... contented. I know I once said that being severely materialistic makes up for my lack of non-material things in life. But in all honesty, I don't take my sense of materialism too seriously. Afterall, it's only material stuff!

Enough ranting. I already sound like a broken record.

I think it might be therapeutic if I list what I want to happen SOON.

  • have a clear sense of direction on where I'm heading
  • experience something NEW and FUN!
  • learn something NEW... a new skill, a new hobby, whatever

(Would you believe I even went as far as researching VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES in countries like ECUADOR and ROMANIA? I don't know what came over me considering there's over 80 million people who need help in my own backyard. My familia de horreur had always told me to stay away from hallucinogenic drugs and the people who take them.)


Before you go on a high horse and bombard me with your PREDICTABLE sanctimonious crap, I'm begging you to please avoid telling me to

  • just be "myself" (and)
  • donate to charity.

An escape from reality is what I need. Away from the blog, the Chanel, the Fendi, the Goyard, the shopping, the facials, the cellphone, the internet, the familia de horreur and of course, the sheer thought at the back of my mind that I'm surrounded by vultures who are constantly looking for that perfect opportunity to devour me alive.

I need a holiday. A 1 or 2 month-long vacation. Somewhere extremely remote and far-flung but close to civilization. Somewhere where nobody knows me and I know nobody.

Somewhere like Skåne, Sweden.

I want to be surrounded by nature. I want to pick fresh flowers, see trees, ride a huge horse. I want to buy a lot of art materials and learn how to paint scenery etc., that sort of thing. I also want to get gangbanged by well-hung farmboys and have hot and horny mixed-race baby-making sex on top of a tractor.

Remember Jakob, the Swedish guy I met up with in Copenhagen> He's the only person in the world who managed to made me walk (and you KNOW I despise walking) for like 2-3 hours just to find that bloody Little Mermaid Statue?


Well, he offered to take me to his summer house in Varberg middle of nowhere bumfuck Sweden.

If I take him up on his offer that beats the purpose of me travelling somewhere where "no one knows me and I know nobody".

Hmmm pakipot ka pa alam mo naman kung saan matutuloy yan.

I wanna go to Skåne god dammit.

Oh I'm just soooo bored with life right now. All I need is change. That's all.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. The only thing that making life worth living is your love. And John Galliano.

Bryanboy loves Erick from Vandenberg AFB (Air Force Base?) California. Erick sweetie you do know that one of goals in life is to get gangbanged by the military/navy/army/men in black etc, right? PLEASE GET SOME OF YOUR AIR FORCE BUDDIES TO STRIP NAKED AND HOLD AN I LOVE BRYANBOY SIGN FOR ME.


Screw the don't ask don't tell policy. If I get gangbanged by men in uniform, I want MAXIMUM MILEAGE, MAXIMUM PUBLICITY. I want to make a shitload of MONEY and sell videos of it.

Failing that, the Bryanboy pose picture will do just fine. :)


You really love me do you now? Can I ride your aeroplane? It's my aeroplannnneeee...


Alex from Tasmania, Australia. Big kisses from me to you. I love ya lots darling even if you sent me a damn photochopped photo. I SAID NO PHOTOSHOPPED ONES... HAHAHA ;)


This set of photos is better than PORN!!! I jacked off 10 times and my balls are the size of raisins. Courtesy of Clair from Perth, Australia.

(This is what I call TRUE LOVE)





I'm gonna go to sleep now. I have a photo shoot later today.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

December 11, 2005

Cryanboy, Love Me, Video Surprise, Stockhome Excess



Download gettingclosermp3.mp3

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I have never felt soo stupid.

I did cry for a little bit on my way back from the train station (where I dropped Jakob off cause he has to go back to middle of nowhere, Sweden) to the hotel. Thank god I had my brand spanking new Gucci sunglasses to conceal my tears.

(God I look awful on that picture.)

I'll be honest. I haven't cried in a long time.

Heck, I didn't even cry when my grandfather died last year.

I don't even know why the fuck I'm sobbing like a little bitch. 

It seems soo petty and shallow, you know.

I bet you he'll probably laugh it off (or feel embarassed) when he reads this post. Am I right, Jakob? Hah! *kiddin*

Nah, he's a really cool guy. I'm glad that we met. I have to admit though, the chances of me and him seeing again are pretty much slim to none. History repeats itself and it's ***ALWAYS*** been like that whenever I go on holiday.

I told him yesterday when we were walking around Copenhagen, "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday."

Here's a funny pic taken on Friday (thanks Sebastian!!!!)


I look like a midget compared to all those guys. Ugh! Someone just make me 6 foot 3 already. Please? All I want for christmas is to be 6'3... or 6'4.

Love Me

While true love comes in the form of a Hermes croc birkin bag or a Vacheron Constantin watch, looking at some of these pictures will suffice when I'm feeling shit.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for loving me.

(Bryangirl in the making. She's only 16 months old. Thanks Sharon!)

(Here's some Swedish lovin' lovin from Ola and Linn... they're some of Jakob's friends.  The left sign says "Go for it Jaqy" aka Jakob.)

AL from the Philippines even had their maids do the Bryanboy pose. I love it! (Hello to JS!!)

I love girls from the land of kangaroos and gorgeous surfer boys.


Here's a big one from Singapore. Bryanboy LOVES EACH AND EVERYONE of you.


Keep those pictures coming. A lonely, sobbing bitch like me can never have too much love. True love comes in the form of a photograph. Email prima facie evidence of your unconditional love to

Anyway, I need to get my head fixed. I'm gonna roam around Copenhagen for a bit, stock up on Georg Jensen and see more Danish people.

I need a good kick up my ass so I'll *snap* *snap* back to reality.

Video Surprise

I have a little gay video surprise for you all.

I'm cleaning up my digital camera and came across this small video of me posing in a club. Niklas must have pressed the wrong button and took a video instead of a picture.

Click here to download/view it. It's quite dark though. Oh well.

Stockhome Excess

Here's more Stockholm pics for you to look at. Some of the pics were taken at Sturecompagniet. I'm telling you, that FOX goes everywhere!!!!










Ok, ok, I know she's gorgeous. Her chinchilla is better than mine though. I love you NAOMI!



October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween! Sweet Scandinavia

Happy Halloween

Here's a picture of me inside the van over the weekend (sans makeup and wig) with a little bit of photoshop fun. Happy Halloween to each and every one of you.


Happy 80th Birthday to Fe-fe-fendi! Gotta love Amanda LePore darling.


Sweet Scandinavia

SwedenThere's something in the air and the only thing I can think of is winter.

I've been experiencing a HUGE traffic surge (and emails + SMS messages) from my viking readers in Norway, Sweden and Finland over the past few days.

Perhaps I have some sort of a snow angel doing a jolly good round of shameless Bryanboy promotion up there near the arctic circle? Whoever you are, feel free to spread the word about my third world brown-assed glory.

I have no idea who/how/why. I love it though!

In fact, I even spent quite some time chatting to a lovely lass from Stockholm a day or two ago - her name is Alex E.

Proof that I learn something new everyday: JANTELAGEN (aka Jante's Law). A lot of scandinavians apparently live by this "unofficial law".

From WikiPedia: Although there actually are 10 different rules in the law, they are usually referred to as a singular homogenous unit. The Danish word loven means "the law" and can be translated into the English as "code." Like in all Scandinavian languages, -en is a definite article suffix.

  1. You shall not think that you are special.
  2. You shall not think that you are of the same standing as us.
  3. You shall not think that you are smarter than us.
  4. Don't fancy yourself as being better than us.
  5. You shall not think that you know more than us.
  6. You shall not think that you are more important than us.
  7. You shall not think that you are good at anything.
  8. You shall not laugh at us.
  9. You shall not think that anyone cares about you.
  10. You shall not think that you can teach us anything.

Hmmm. I can smell humility, modesty and purity from afar. Thanks but no thanks.

I might as well go to a convent and be a fucking nun.

Who the hell cares about us? Life is all about ME, ME and ME!

One of my former clients and friends (who I terribly miss - the legendary Thomas Leonard, the father of COACHING) who passed away a couple of years ago, said one of the rules of attraction is to become INCREDIBLY SELFISH.

To cut it short, all you gotta do is go to the website to see an abundance of swedes breaking Jante's Law. You'll also see how the beautiful people of the north live.

Big shout out to people from Kristiansand, Norway, students from Tampere University of Technology, Tampere, Finland, Herrngen, Sweden, Kingswood, NSW, Australia, Norco, California, Huvudsta, Sweden, Skogome, Sweden, Moriyacho, Japan, Horten, Norway, Verwolde, Netherlands, Eastwood, NSW, Australia, Seoul, South Korea and Husie, Sweden.


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