Chanel Haute Couture advertisment

9 entries categorized "Loneliness"

May 12, 2008

I'm depressed.

I'm depressed.

You guys... pick a destination. Any destination. Then I'll google. Then who knows. I need some cheering up. Don't choose New York, London, Milan or Paris though. Hahaha!

world map

And for you, my friend, this is for you. Remember this song?

Christian Dior Spring 2008 Ready to Wear is dat chu?

August 31, 2006

You are my sweetest downfall.

You are my sweetest downfall.

You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first, I loved you first. Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth. I have to go, I have to go. Your hair was long when we first met. Samson went back to bed, not much hair left on his head. He ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed. And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us. And the bible didn't mention us, not even once.

BRYANBOY LOVES REGINA SPEKTOR! Heck, even Galliano for Christian Dior (F/W06-07 Haute Couture) loves Regina Spektor.

I have to cleanse my soul and get rid of all the negative feelings in my bloodstream. I can't remember the last time I wrote anything that involves self-pity so here goes.

Continue reading "You are my sweetest downfall." »

April 10, 2006

Snap out of it!, Meet My New Toy

Snap out of it!

I seriously need to snap out of it and I need all the help I can get. It's Monday night and the only thing I did in the past 48 hours is wallow in my own personal drama. I also slept tons, eat a lot and pissed a lot. I'm sooo dirty! The last time I took a shower was early yesterday morning. I smell like a fuckin goat. The last time I defecated was back on Saturday night!


I really feel like crap. I've been feasting on junk food the entire day. Hello self-destruction. I drank 4 liters of Diet Coke...  that's a gallon of fattening jizz. At the rate things are going, I may have to get a liposuction done PRONTO. At least I no longer have an excuse because I'm gonna be as big as a fuckin car.

I know I was wrong. Sober or drunk, there's no excuse for appalling behavior. Nevertheless, thanks, everyone, for all your nice messages. I got a ton of emails and texts. Keep them coming and please attach pictures of cute guys holding "I love Bryanboy" signs. Email

Seriously, thank you for trying to make me feel better. I still feel terrible and the only thing that can bring me back to life is a Fendi B Bag, in black patent leather or white canvas with black patent leather handles. I'm not that hard to please.

Meet My New Toy

I looove my new camera! The large screen is gorgeous. I have to admit the only reason why I bought it is the fact that I can draw things on the touch screen... and my younger brother broke my other camera, too. I guess I have to be extra careful on this one because I have sweaty palms. I really should get my palms botoxed. I heard hollywood celebs get it done on their armpits to prevent sweaty armpit mishaps on Oscar night etc.




Roberto Collina cardigan, See by Chloe tank top, Fendi spy bag and for the life of god, I can't remember who made the jeans. It's definitely not the same brand that sued Jessica Simpson for $100 million dollars.

Damn expensivo camera. I friggin paid around US$650 for it. Living proof that electronics are fucking expensive in the third world. I searched for it on google and I could've saved around US$300 by buying it online. I found a site that sold it for US$365!!!! Oh well. I'm impatient and can't be bothered with all the shipping etc.

I also opened my Shu Uemura swag bag. I got lots and lots and lots of lovely things from them: a limited edition brush, skin purifier, lavender lip gloss, some highlighter for the eyes, even a 24K gold eyelash curler (I know I'm gay but I'm ***NOT*** that gay), some false eyelashes I can use the next time I morph into a dragon, and a limited edition compact case.


I looooooove love love love love love love love Shu!! I loooove it. I don't even have to be a beauty editor to get a lot of beauty products for free!

Someone around here has got to be beautiful you know. I'm sick of being the ugly duckling. I wanna be a SWANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Unfortunately, I wasn't blessed with the best of looks and I need all the help I can get. Hell, I even brought up the prospect of plastic surgery with a buddy.

bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:24:56): hoy do you know how long the healing time is if i get rhinoplasty done
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:02): i feel like i wanna get a nose job
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:03): haha RRRIGHT
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:09): i don't know
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:09): what
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:13): WHY
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:13): Y
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:15): POR QUEEE
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:15): nothing
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:34): i mean, i wanna get a nose job, jawline job and chin whatever
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:44): i wanna be boootiful from all angles
hannah (10/04/2006 13:26:05): you are
hannah (10/04/2006 13:26:09): are the haters getting to you in all forms
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:13): nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:24): i've been reading too much tabloids recently
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:41): in fact, i bought 7 tabloids yesterday
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:49): star, us weekly, people, you name it

What was I thinking? You know I've always been proud of my nasty, hideous bulby nose (in addition to the fact that it also occupies a quarter of my face) and here I am thinking I should get a nose job. I reallllllly feeel unpretttttttttttttty!!!!

For god's sake someone please send me some vicodin or any hardcore painkiller out there. Not only I feel unpretty on the inside, I also feel unpretty on the outside! I heard vicodin can make the pain go away temporarily. I know Amanda Lepore take hers with champagne. I've never tried vicodin. In fact, I went to the pharmacy a couple of months ago and asked for it and the girl had no clue what it is.

hannah (10/04/2006 13:52:18): omg sedatives and cold champagne na drama mo?
translation: omg are you gonna take up sedatives and cold champagne?
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:52:24): shut up
hannah (10/04/2006 13:52:25): marilyn monroe
hannah (10/04/2006 13:52:29): ikaw ba iteccch?
translation: is that you? (in a really slang gay way)

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Paris, France (who doesn't?), Happy Valley, Hong Kong, Richmond, TAS Australia, Frankfurt, Germany, Pennsauken, NJ, Hicksville, NY, Jonkopping, Sweden, Dunedin, New Zealand, Notting Hill, London UK, Canberra, ACT Australia, Shanghai, China and all the fabulous people in Stuttgart, Germany. I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don't be shy.

#2 - I'm currently hooked with Karl Lagerfeld's whatever collection. A poshified version of Karl for H&M. I wanna get the tank top, the t-shirts, the shorts and the vest. Ohhh so effortless chic. Sooooo gorgeous and reasonably-priced. Vest is $225, tank top at $135 and the knee shorts are $175. Photo credit: Bergdorf  Goodman. I bet my silver chanel bowling bag will look good on that outfit.


#3 - This is thinspiration at its finest. I love it. It's funny cause the more I surround myself with images of thin people, the more I find myself overeating and gaining weight. I miss my old body, goddammit!!! I GAINED 25 POUNDS IN THE PAST 4 MONTHS! I REALLY WANT TO BE ANOREXIC. GOD HELP ME. I KEEP ON TELLING MYSELF I'M FAT, FAT, FAT... I EVEN STARTED TAKING REDUCTIL AGAIN AND IT'S NOT WORKING.





To hell with it.


I think I'm gonna look at more thinspiration.

Email me: or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

If you email me nicely, I'm gonna pull an all-nighter and work on a new podcast. Time flies fast and it's been 2 months since I last did one.

I love you all.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

February 25, 2006

Envy... Envy Me, Beautiful Day, This is Summer

Envy... Envy Me


Saucer of Gucci Envy please.


I've somewhat lost interest in blogging over the past few days because of this big, bad world I live in. There are many, many cold-blooded and resentful people out there who have nothing to do in their lives. Their bloodstreams overflow with venomous bile hence the need to spread hatred to others.

If you're gonna talk shit about me or other people, please.... for good times' sake, be careful (and selective) as to who you talk to.  You're only making yourself look worse (you already LOOK bad darling) when your bitter messages reach the person you are talking about.

All I can say is... envy breeds malice, spite and ill-will. Why can't these people get over with their own personal failures and insecurities?

Let me share some quotable quotes. They came from THIS article published by The Catholic News... don't ask my why I quoted them in the first place. I don't know what to tell you other than the fact that I'm satan's shopaholic spawn. Shopping is my religion and the mall is my temple.

"Envy eats away at the insides of its victim, and from its self-torment malice ensues. Envy is particularly adept at noticing and pointing out the faults of others. What I cannot have, I will besmirch or bring low. Or I will say it’s not worth having in the first place."

"A levelling instinct dominates envy. It grows naturally, as Aristotle observed, in relationships between equals. If we’re all equal, why should you stand out? Envy is the besetting sin of all professional groups, a fact most noticeable in the faculties of universities, but not only there, of course. You find it also in prayer groups. The envious prayer group member finds it extremely galling that other people can pray “better” than he or she can. "

"Envy confuses being equal with being identical. We all have equal rights before the law, and equal access to God. But life is otherwise a field of unequal distribution. No matter where I look there’s someone who has something I don’t have, or something I have but in a finer way, or simply more of what I have. Comparison only condemns me to ceaseless torment. "

"The antidote to envy, on the other hand, is growth in self-love and self-acceptance. The envious are not grateful for, or happy in, what they are or what they have. They feel that they are nothing and their nothingness is exposed by the success, achievement, or good fortune of others."

Click HERE to read the full article.

On that profound note, keep in mind that the ultimate form of revenge to these bottom feeders is success.

Gucci Envy ME, anyone?


This blog entry goes out to people who deserve to read this message.

Besides, only the guilty knows what on earth I am talking about.

Set this is stone mother fuckers: don't drag me into your acerbic and foul lives. Live... and let live. I **WILL** be fucking successful regardless of whatever it is that I want to achieve in life.

I know bad grass NEVER die so... fuck you. Fuck EACH and EVERY one of you.

Moving on...

Beautiful Friday

I got up early yesterday morning cause I have a "Beauty Day" date with a friend. The first thing my mom told me was for me to stay indoors unless I wanna die.

You must have heard all the politics-related insanity going on in the capital of the land of the brown, l'exotique and the natives.

Riots or no riots, war or peace, heck, I don't give a flying fuck if all hell breaks loose... I was fucking determined to get my hair done...

... and that's exactly what I ended up doing.

I met up with friends at H-Salon in Rustan's Makati to get a color and highlights. I LOVE that place. The service is good and Henry is a doll! I'm gonna go there for color from now on for color.


I thought I'd get my eyebrows done while waiting for their turns to finish their treatments.


Man, it was TORTURE! I wailed like a pregnant bitch who is about to give birth. I have a feeling it was my voice that stopped the riots yesterday.

Thank you Henry Calayag! I LOOOOOVE the color of my locks. I got a ton of comments last night how my hair is sooo nice. The pictures don't do it justice.

This third world hell hole of a country can burn in hell for all I care but at least I've got FABULOUS hair!


Don't get me wrong... I love my country.... but I have to love my own ass first.

Seriously... some of these people should just stop all these riot/protest nuisance. It was effective for the first 2 times... but you can't recreate the past. You're scaring the tourists away and you're destroying the economy, including my livelihood. Being the local dollar earning prostitute that I am, how the fuck am I supposed to get well-hung clients from far flung places?

Ugh. I don't even wanna talk anything that has to do with politics. It's a touchy subject and the only time I'll talk about it in great detail is when I'm holding public office or when someone with ill-gotten wealth adopts me.

Anyway, yesterday was productive. I accomplished a lot of things. I bought 2 delectable clutch bags. One of them is real snakeskin and the other one is faux croc. I LOVE the way you open/close the bag. These lovely confections will drive a bag thief insane - it took me several hours to figure it out.


Yves Saint Laurent bag, Dolce & Gabbana eel skin and kid fur clutch, Mulberry bag, DSquared shirt, Tim Camino t-shirt.


I love my new Mulberry bag. It looks a bit weird in photos but it's lovely in person. The color is astounding.

Yes mother fuckers, I'll update later today. PROMISE!


Mulberry bag, Hermes scarf, Goyard wallet, Goyard agenda, Alain Mikli eyeglasses, Gucci sunglasses, Shu Uemura face powder, Yves Saint Laurent concealer, pens, ipod, lighter, cash, passport.

I ***LOVE*** my Mulberry bag!!!!

It was a good day overall. There must be something in the air. Heck, we even went to the cinema to watch Big Momma. Celine and I packed far too many calories yesterday. We had 3 meals yesterday... in a span of 8 or so hours... oh, and I had 3 enormous scoops of Haagez Dazs ice cream while watching the movie. 

We all went home after the film. I was exhausted at the end of the day. 

And a little depressed.

7 of us went to the movie theatre. A gay couple, 2 straight couples and good ol singleton me.



This is Summer

Even my 2 younger sisters have boyfriends even if I don't like them that much. Fuck love and fuck being in a relationship.

I have to rely on myself to get love. It's only ME who loves ME, MYSELF and I.

Until I find someone who will love me, I'm gonna love myself by pouring out my frustrations by shopping.

This is summer right here. Well.. part of it. LOL.

Save the 5-inch Chloe shoe/sandal and Versace clip-on earrings for a rainy day. I wanna to dress up like a whore once or twice this year.

Dior Homme (can't remember) tuxedo vest, Ann Demeulemeester tank, Paul Smith shoes, Dolce & Gabbana jacket, Dolce & Gabbana t-shirt, Dolce & Gabbana polo shirt, David Szeto pearl necklace, Fruit cowboy boots, Chloe shoes, Versace clip-on earings, Marc Jacobs bag, Dior sunglasses, Tom Ford sunglasses, Marc Jacobs sunglasses, Zodiac chrono watch, Dior Homme tie, Versace pin, Louis Vuittn bag, Strenesse caftan, Ike watch, Etro sneakers, Eme Jota gazelle fur bag, Oscar de la Renta faux croc portfolio clutch, Nancy Gonzalez python minaudiere.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Ca Quarta, Veneto Italy, Cambridge, UK, Cagayan De Oro, Philippines, Chicago, IL, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Long Beach, CA, Braddock, PA, Mount Laurel, NJ, Hawthorn, VIC Australia, Honolulu, HI, Easthampton, MA, Kilmacanoge, Wicklow Ireland, Cote D'Azur, France, Kanagawa, Japan, Toulouse, France, Roslyn, NY and of course, people from Liberec, Czech Republic. I love each and every one of you mother fuckers. Email me and tell me you wanna fuck my fanny.

#2 - Watch out for Podcast #4 coming out in 6 hours!

#3 - See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. YOU ARE EVIL.

#4 - Geography is no boundary when it comes to unconditional love and the infamous Bryanboy pose. Here's one from good ol New York.


#5 - Be sure to go to my Discussion Forums. Say hi, don't be shy.

I've had it. I'm gonna work on my podcast and post here in a bit.

More updates later.

Talk to me you maggots! Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

It's almost midnight here and I'll be awake for the next 6 hours.

I love each and every one of you. Someone please buy me a Boucheron watch!


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

February 04, 2006

Red is the Color of Love, Good Governance

Red is the Color of Love


10 more days and it's Valentine's Day. My ugly little brown ass is still single, just like it had always been (for the past 3-4 years).

I'm not being demanding. In fact, I'm probably the most reasonable person EVER.

I'm not even asking for a boyfriend. All I'm asking for is a date with a tall, cute guy who will buy me expensive dinner, expensive champagne and give me a tiny red box with a large shiny gift from Cartier.

ZagzagzagAnyway, I was cropping the latest batch of photos and I suddenly remembered (OUT OF NOWHERE) an online chat conversation I had with a French one-night stand. I met him a couple of days before I left Paris; we now talk on MSN (webcams and all) every once in a while.

Here's how the conversation went:

Me: You know what's weird? The older I seem to get, the younger guys I attract. I hate it. I need a nice man to protect me, not a friggin fetus. All of the guys I get these days are young ones.

Him: You get old... so they're looking for a sugar daddy.

Me: Some of these guys have disposable incomes so I'm sure that's not the case. But maybe you're right. The young ones tend to be attracted to me because of what they see. They think I have money. Oh I hate it. I could never win in this game.

Him: Hahahaha! You are NOT classic enough for the old guy. You are too fashionable. LOL.

Me: I am not "too fashion"

Him: But you are young and young people are like that. Older guys, they want Ralph Lauren Polo and gray pants. SOMEONE THEY CAN SHOW TO THEIR PARENTS LOL

I wanted to slap the mother fucker right then and there.

When you think about it, maybe he's right.

Perhaps that's the reason why I've been single all along. I'm sooo OUTRé! I am soo in-your-face. Everything about me is distinct: my drug-fucked drag queen voice, my in-your-face clothes, my scary eyes, my trademark onion bulb nose etc.


Maybe... just maybe... I'm good enough for a fuck.

Maybe two fucks. maybe three fucks.

No, make that four fucks.

Shit, I'm probably even good enough as a mistress... or someone in a relationship would cheat with.


But will I ever be good enough to be shown to someone's parents, cigarettes, bad makeup, warts and all?


I don't know.

Nobody has tried!


Perhaps the Frenchman was right this time.

Oh well. I'll tone down when I get my Senior Citizen Discount card.


By the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my paparazzi-style pics. I really need a full-time paparazzi to be on call on my shameless self-promotion PR shots. Hah! Anyone willing to take my photos for free? Email me. I have nothing to give other than sexual favours.

Good Governance

Believe it or not, it's been quite awhile since I've set foot inside a gay bar/club here in the third world.

Government reopened its doors last night after a quick renovation and it was the perfect time to do a "GAY NIGHT" with gay friends and acquaintances.




Bah, everyone is gay these days anyway. There's the gay-curious brigade, the gay-acting straights, the gays-in-denial... the list goes on and on.


I had soo much fun yesterday... considering I only went out for no more than 3 HOURS! I lost a ton of weight from all that sweating, dancing and roaming I did around the club. I remember getting there at around 1:30AM and I got home at no later than 4:30! It was speed-clubbing at its finest.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Lancaster, Blackpool, UK, Houston, TX, Manama, Bahrain, Camberwell, VIC, Australia, Stettenberg, Bayern Germany, Moriyacho, Kanagawa Japan, Istanbul, Turkey, Oviedo, FL, Loughborough, UK, Lersen, Staden Kobenhavn Denmark, Tempe, NSW Australia, Malmo, Sweden, Boulogne-Billancourt, France, Askim, Norway, Tokyo, Japan and of course, all my friends from Micarone, Abruzzi Italyyyyyy! I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don't be shy!

#2 - Big shout out to Altair Drexel of Kelowna, BC Canada! No... I haven't seen Bareback Mountain yet. Feel free to burn my toes with a cigarette... I'll watch it soon though. PROMISE!

#3 - I just found out not EVERYONE can view photos hosted on a Flickr website. Several people emailed me and there are some companies out there who blocked their servers from accessing Flickr. My oh my. Don't worry though... I'm **THIS** close to coming to a solution. I'll be hosting all my new images at a different hosting site now.

#4 - I HATE MY FRIEND LOUISE FROM SWEDEN. I made her 2 "I Love Louise" pictures and all I got was a crappy photoshopped piece of shit. You know how ****I**** despise photoshop. I'm not even gonna post what she made.


#5 - I can't believe I missed the Goyard Boutique opening in San Francisco yesterday, Friday. It's the first Goyard boutique in the world aside from the one in St. Honore in Paris! I'm truly honored to be invited (in spite of haven't been to San Francisco in my entire life. Oi!) and I genuinely appreciate the gesture.


#7 - Small favor to those of you who live in the third world. Does anyone around here have a copy of yesterday's (FRIDAY) Philippine Star newspaper? I have a photo there somewhere. Please, pretty please, look for my photo and scan it for me. I'm begging you. I'll give you a kiss on the cheek and an oreo cookie if you do this teeny weeny favor for me. Email Thanks!

I think that's all for now.

Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492. TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.

Be happy, be pretty and be gorgeous. Don't do anything I won't do.


January 25, 2006

The Stuff Brown Bitches Are Made of, Hannah Matronic Let's Get Married!, The Blossoming of Bryanboy

The Stuff Brown Bitches Are Made Of

Correct me if I'm wrong: American designer Michael Kors once said "anyone/everyone looks good with a tan." I think I read it from an old copy of In Style whilst having my pedicure at my local nail salon.

FYI, a good tan can hide some of your icky superficial flaws - scars, blemishes, zits, stretch marks, uneven color, etc. I'm sure there are a shitload of people like me who weren't graced with flawless skin so the next best thing to a skin transplant is getting a tan.

I'm currently using Lancaster for body & face and Nars bronzer (Laguna). Chanel has this old lip gloss (color 64) that will compliment your new look.

Lancaster must have changed their formulation because I looked friggin orange the last time I used it.

I must say they're good. It's like adobe photoshop in a can!!!!


Man, I really look different on this photo. I can't for the life of god decide whether I look older or younger.


I like my new color though.

Give me a week or two to bask in this self-tan obsession. Thank god it will be gone by the time I get sick of it.

Try it today! Get a fucking tan and turn yourself into a gorgeous islander native such as moi. Embrace your inner exotic and unleash the power of the color brown. Sephora carries a ton of self-tanning products, bronzers, etc.


I went to a nice little party yesterday at a friend's house because one of her friends is going back to San Francisco where he lives. His Name is Wilson and yes, he's the only guy in the world who SERVES caviar whenever he throws sex orgies. I'm definitely gonna miss him. Here's Wilson holding Tim's goodbye present.


Tim (the blonde Chinese guy) gave the gayest (and cutest) gift in the world!





Hannah Matronic Let's Get Married!

Hannah Matronic you cum-guzzling slut, let's get married. Soon.

Rescue me you fucking bitch.

I don't care if you marry me for my money... I'll even feed you with all the Chanel that you want until you shit long, brown turds with swarovski-encrusted interlocking CCs.

I joined this personals site yesterday called Guys4Men out of sheer boredom and yes, one of my friends were right - this site is good for entertainment value..

or shock, awe and horreur.

This 20-year old guy sent me a message out of nowhere asking me whether or not I want to suck his dick, right then and there.


Here's what I sent back.


I think I scared him off. I didn't get a reply afterwards.

Don't get me wrong. I would've given the poor kid a mind-blowing head job if:

a) he's got US$20,000,000 in liquid assets
b) he buys me dinner at L'Opera (one of my favourite restuarants in Manila).

The Blossoming of Bryanboy


One of my friends at the party mentioned this Filipino movie called The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros. I read about it somewhere online and it's only today that I searched for it.

Google came up with this independent review from

Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros (The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros) is a wonderful wonderful film that explores the purity of a 12 year old homosexual boy in the midst of the grittiness, corruption, and dirtiness of the slums of Metro Manila. Written by Michiko Yamamoto, who also scribed the charming award-winning tear-jerker Magnifico, Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros feels and sounds more mature without sacrificing Yamamoto's talent for putting into words and scenes the beauty of innocence and childhood.


Aureaus Solito, working with the little budget granted to him doesn't lose sight of artistry and integrity of storytelling. He doesn't delve into the politics of homosexuality, nor does he get tempted to exoticize or eroticize the blossoming of an openly homosexual teenager. He gears his camera towards the inherent kindness and purity of the soul of Maximo. He establishes little flickers of humanity and kindness in the faces of the petty criminals who Maximo regards as family. Maximo's father, the kingpin of the slums, the master cellphone snatcher is a refreshing character. While most other gay-themed films would portray the fathers as stern and homophobic, here, the father is loving, accepting, and entirely lovable despite his associations with criminal activity. Maximo's two elder brothers are also cellphone snatchers, yet despite their outwardly machismo, they take care of Maximo and accept him for what he really is. When Victor, a clean and honest cop, arrives in the slums, Maximo gets attracted and falls for the policeman. Their relationship provides the dilemma of the film wherein Maximo is trapped in the middle of his family's illegal source of income and his admiration for the stalwart cop. The film is entirely shot digitally which resulted in muted colors and pale blacks. Cinematographer Nap Jamir however makes most of the meager capabilities of digital filmmaking and intelligently and creatively creates shots that add much needed grittiness and intimacy to the film. Filipino rock legend Pepe Smith provides for a beautifully apt musical score mostly composed of guitar strummings.

That picture is sooo fucking hilarious I just had to dig up an old picture back when I was a child. I came up with this. I think I must have been 12 or 13 when this photo was taken... in Boracay Island.


Here's another not-so-recent photo of myself. The Dior top with the zip on the side is a giveaway as to what year this picture was taken.

I'm telling you... it's amazing what MONEY can do to a child these days.

AGEING is a word that should be abolished from the dictionary. However, it's moments like this that makes me glad I aged like fine fuckin wine.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from London, UK, Frederiksberg, Denmark, Nagano, Japan, Pekin, IL, Istanbul, Turkey, Livonia, MI, Dulles, VA, Jordaan, Holland, Race Course Village, Singapore, York Mills, ONT Canada, Manama, Bahrain, Charlotte, NC, Warsaw, Poland, Garrel, Germany, Quinta Da Verdelha, Portugal, Tours, France, Endicott, NY, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and of course, all the beautiful boys who live in Ober Eschbach, Hessen Germany. I love, love, love you all. Talk to me you fuckin cunts.

#2 - I'm doing 2 LIVE (oh dear god) TV interviews this week. To save myself from the embarassment, no, I'm not telling when. And no, I'm not telling where either. You can channel surf your tv set all you want but I ain't telling you anything. I'll get one of my minions to take pictures of this historical moment though. The only thing I'm gonna wish for at this time is that Mercury Drug (the Philippines' biggest drug/pharmacy chain) better have a shitload of xanax ready for me. I'll take 10 pills before the interview and 20 pills after.

#3 - Suicide is the best way to deal with shame. If suicide doesn't work, emigrating to an unknown African town is the next best option. Masai beads, anyone?

#4 - Trust me, I'll BURN my snot-colored passport and stop going on sex tourism trips if all third world penises are as big as that. I came across this photo on Jenna's blog. I love Jenna!

# 5 - Bryanboy gives a big shout out to all the fabulous people at Penshoppe Juniors (Girl's/Teens Line) Creative Team. I love the fantastic pout on each and every one of your faces. You all look absolutely STUNNING!


I'll never forget those days back in the dark ages (aka mid 1990s) when a Penshoppe (or a Bench) hand towel is the accessory de rigeur of every middle class school child. I was soooo fuckin jealous of the mother fuckers. Half of my schoolmates had them in every color imaginable whereas I only had 2 of them cause my mom told me it's better to carry handkerchiefs and not hand towels to school.

Svtwins#7 - SOMEBODY STOP THE LIGHT!!!!! I'M ALREADY AT THE GLAMOROUS END OF THE TUNNEL!!!! I'm having even more flashbacks of my childhood. Who would've forgotten good ol' Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield? Jesus, god knows how much money I stole from my parents just to be able to buy the entire Sweet Valley Kids, Sweet Valley Twins, Sweet Valley High, Sweet Valley University book set little by little? (And yes, even the god damn Sweet Valley Slam Book) My former schoolmates won't let me borrow their books cause they think I'm not gonna return it. My dad thought my obsession with Sweet Valley was ridiculous AND frivolous - he wanted me to read HARDY FUCKIN BOYS.

He ended up being right though.

Sweet Valley was frivolous...

and I should've sticked with HARD BOYS.

Y'all know where to contact me mother fuckers.

Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Remember: I love Sephora... and so should you!



December 11, 2005

Cryanboy, Love Me, Video Surprise, Stockhome Excess



Download gettingclosermp3.mp3

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I have never felt soo stupid.

I did cry for a little bit on my way back from the train station (where I dropped Jakob off cause he has to go back to middle of nowhere, Sweden) to the hotel. Thank god I had my brand spanking new Gucci sunglasses to conceal my tears.

(God I look awful on that picture.)

I'll be honest. I haven't cried in a long time.

Heck, I didn't even cry when my grandfather died last year.

I don't even know why the fuck I'm sobbing like a little bitch. 

It seems soo petty and shallow, you know.

I bet you he'll probably laugh it off (or feel embarassed) when he reads this post. Am I right, Jakob? Hah! *kiddin*

Nah, he's a really cool guy. I'm glad that we met. I have to admit though, the chances of me and him seeing again are pretty much slim to none. History repeats itself and it's ***ALWAYS*** been like that whenever I go on holiday.

I told him yesterday when we were walking around Copenhagen, "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday."

Here's a funny pic taken on Friday (thanks Sebastian!!!!)


I look like a midget compared to all those guys. Ugh! Someone just make me 6 foot 3 already. Please? All I want for christmas is to be 6'3... or 6'4.

Love Me

While true love comes in the form of a Hermes croc birkin bag or a Vacheron Constantin watch, looking at some of these pictures will suffice when I'm feeling shit.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for loving me.

(Bryangirl in the making. She's only 16 months old. Thanks Sharon!)

(Here's some Swedish lovin' lovin from Ola and Linn... they're some of Jakob's friends.  The left sign says "Go for it Jaqy" aka Jakob.)

AL from the Philippines even had their maids do the Bryanboy pose. I love it! (Hello to JS!!)

I love girls from the land of kangaroos and gorgeous surfer boys.


Here's a big one from Singapore. Bryanboy LOVES EACH AND EVERYONE of you.


Keep those pictures coming. A lonely, sobbing bitch like me can never have too much love. True love comes in the form of a photograph. Email prima facie evidence of your unconditional love to

Anyway, I need to get my head fixed. I'm gonna roam around Copenhagen for a bit, stock up on Georg Jensen and see more Danish people.

I need a good kick up my ass so I'll *snap* *snap* back to reality.

Video Surprise

I have a little gay video surprise for you all.

I'm cleaning up my digital camera and came across this small video of me posing in a club. Niklas must have pressed the wrong button and took a video instead of a picture.

Click here to download/view it. It's quite dark though. Oh well.

Stockhome Excess

Here's more Stockholm pics for you to look at. Some of the pics were taken at Sturecompagniet. I'm telling you, that FOX goes everywhere!!!!










Ok, ok, I know she's gorgeous. Her chinchilla is better than mine though. I love you NAOMI!



October 02, 2005

The fucker was right.

Last Supper

The thing I love about "free" websites is the fact that they will exist online forever and ever and ever and ever, amen.

I went to my ex' home page and his last message to me is still there.

Yep, the one whom I spent a year and 8 months with.

Yep, the one I really, really loved.

Yep, the one who really, really loved me.

Yep, he made this page for me a couple of years ago.

And believe it or not, everything he said there was true.

So true it hurts.

Brace yourself fuckers.



(yep, a small one.)

January 01, 2005

Making long-lasting friends online.

I've been on the net since god knows when. I remember the days when I used to troll around various BBSes using my stank US Robotics 14.4K modem.

I'll also never forget the time I racked up thousands of dollars worth of international long distance calls to the USA when I was a child because I discovered the wonders of Compuserve. Being the dumb little princess that I was, I constantly had my modem dial the US access numbers because they didn't have one for the Philippines.

Then I discovered AOL. Bulletin boards everywhere, personals, everything -- you know the drill. And of course, there was MIRC.

Heck, when I was a child, I even used to wank off to stories from -- gross, I know.

From being on dialup for centuries, I've evolved to broadband internet 2, err almost 3 years ago.

Throughout all this time, I've come across and have interacted with what seemed to be hundreds, if not tens, of thousands of people online, since day 1. I even met my first boyfriend through the net (and yes, we've met up LOADS in real life). The relationship lasted for a year and 8 months.

But guess how many turned out to become long-lasting friends, that, until to this day, I still speak to?


I don't know what it is but personally, I think "online" friendships &/or relationships are simply not that sustainable. Especially if the other person involved lives 28,610.41 miles away.

Sure, you chat/email/instant message for a couple of months. Then meet up somewhere in the world. Everything goes well, both of you have a blast... both of you have seen each other in "real life". Then you both go home, talk again online... or on the phone for a couple of months.

And then the nostalgia wears off. You just get dead bored of each other. You make lame "I've been so busy" excuses for not contacting him/her... and he/she does the same.

So off you troll around again on various web sites, "talking" to people, making "friends", blah blah blah. It's a never-ending cycle.

What amazes me though is the fact that this sort of thing only happens to people I MEET online.

I'm still in contact... and close friends with... people I originally met on a NON-ONLINE environment, such as people I met off clubs, streets, friends of friends of friends of friends of friends, etc.

Enough rambling for now. It's a lonely planet indeed.

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