I shot the pervert, but I did not shoot the cutie.
I know, I know. I've been extremely busy the past week. I'm so backlogged with work, it's not even funny.
Thank you for all the heart-warming emails asking where I am or why I've been so quiet the past couple of days. It's not funny when you've got dozens upon dozens of blog readers knocking on your gmail account.
On that note, let's get down to business.
I was browsing some sites earlier and stumbled upon the State of Maine Sex Offenders Registry. I know, I know, sex crimes are no laughing matter - trust me, they should put all those pedophiles into gas chambers etc.
But I'm bored. Extremely bored. I tried to stop myself but I just couldn't.
The inevitable thought sprang in my head -- who amongst these sex offenders would I organize a gang bang with?
Using firefox, I decided to search for sex offenders within my age range. Here's what I came across. Click the thumbnails for a full-sized picture.
Believe me, every one else is ugly. I've spent far too much time sorting out who's doable. Post your comments, Cinderella, on who you think is the fairest of them all.
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Robert J Lindsey 3rd June 23, 1982 Disseminating sexually explicit material |
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Shawn Henry Staudinger April 30, 1982 Criminal Sexual Conduct 2nd Degree |
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Patrick John Dyer July 22, 1981 Sexual abuse of a minor |
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Rocky Eugene Lucas November 6, 1981 Unlawful Sexual Contact |
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Zachary Webber August 21, 1981 Sexual abuse of a minor |
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Mark A Fuller January 6, 1979 Sexual abuse of a minor (4 times) |
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Antony F. September 20, 1980 Sexual abuse of a minor (4 counts) |
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James Dale Kitchin Jr April 25, 1977 Unlawful sexual contact |
I think that's it. I can't be bothered to search beyond 1977. Besides, 8 felons should be enough for the night, don't you think?
And for those of you who adore lesbians and freakshows, here's a threesome just for you. My treat.
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Angela Lynne White September 10, 1977 Sexual abuse of a minor (2 counts) |
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Kelly Lynn Schilling March 30, 1978 Sexual abuse of a minor |
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Charity Shorey February 9, 1979 Unlawful sexual contact (2 counts) Sexual abuse of a minor |
Enjoy! LOL.
Edited 01/18/05: Rocky looks a bit weird. God knows why I picked him. I think the cutest of em all, the one I forgot to include because I saw him at the last minute, is 28 year old Wilmont R. Southworth the 3rd. What a fancy name for someone who has 4 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. I like his eyes. I think he's sexy.