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4 entries categorized "Fat"

May 31, 2006

Aiming for Anorexia: The Official Bryanboy "DYING TO BE THIN" Diet and Faggotry in Motion #004

Aiming for Anorexia:

The Official Bryanboy "DYING TO BE THIN" Diet

There was a time when I felt like I cared that I was shorter than everyone there. People made me feel like life was unfair and I did things that made me ashamed... cos I didn't know my body would change.
I grew taller than them in more ways but there will always be the one who will say something bad to make them feel great.

People are all the same and we only get judged by what we do... personality reflects name and if I'm ugly then so are you. So are you.

-- Sugababes: "Ugly"

053006_diet

I really have had it. I got up earlier this afternoon with another nightmare... two nightmares, in fact. One of them involves Adderall, an amphetamine-based prescription drug prescribed for pre-school kids with Attention Deficit Disorder followed by another one with Roman designer Valentino Garavani (whose face hasn't changed a single bit for decades) and Hollywood actress Nicole Kidman.

052506_attentionwhore

Can I just say I'm turning into a complete nutcase? Someone please stop it. Stop it already. These weird dreams are driving me insane.

053106_arms

"There is something distasteful about their inability to control themselves. To be thin takes control and rigour." -- Karl Lagerfeld on fat people

I slept at around 10AM on Tuesday morning after pulling an all-nighter online only to wake up at 2 in the afternoon with another awful nightmare. I caught one of my fat younger sisters staring at the mirror then she gave me this orange bottle of pills that said "Adderall". She told me "I thought you could do with some of these." I could barely remember what happened next but the name of the drug etched a permanent mark in my head. I honestly haven't heard of this drug before. Ever.

053106_addErr wait. Yes, I have. Once.

A little over 5 months ago, I went to this island here in the Philippines. One of my acquaintance's friend who flew in from the USA had a bottle of Adderall with him. I remember him offering me a pill and I should try it out. He said it's prescribed for children with ADD (attention deficit disorder). I have this pill phobia so I refused his offer. That was the first AND last time I heard of the drug. In fact, I completely forgotten about it. Until today.

I googled "adderall" as soon as I got up and found out the drug is indeed prescribed for kids with attention deficit disorder. Apparently it's got amphetamines, the same shit they mix on cocaine, speed, ecstasy (in conjunction with MDMA) or crystal meth, the drug of choice of barebacking, bug-chasing faggots into "party and play" orgies in cities like San Francisco or New York.

053106_today

052506_attentionwhore

My god look at me. Your local alcohol and substance abuse education center would be so proud of me for being updated when it comes to drug culture. It's amazing what you find on the internet these days, eh?

Anyway, I'm trying figure out why I even had that dream. Is it because of the fact that I'm a big attention whore...

053106_attention

... or is it the subconcious thought of popping amphetamine-based pills will make me skinny is a sign that I am indeed too fat?

A friend suggested via MSN Messenger that i change my eating habits. We even made a pact to NEVER mention fast food again in our conversations and no solid food exceeding 10 grams. Ok, the latter is hard, I know. I even flushed whatever it is that is left on my coca cola bottle (I wanted to say 'coke' but it's sooo druggie) down the toilet.

He then mentioned the thought of me going into a watermelon diet... and tons of ice cold water.

Why haven't I thought of that BEFORE?

I paid a visit to the supermarket to pick up some fruit.. heck, a LOT of fruit. I bought 4 enormous watermelons, the ones Katie Holmes-Cruise used underneath her oversized tops before giving birth to the alien named "Suri".

053106_watermelons

I also bought a dozen apples, some seedless red grapes (my mom lashed out on me cause she's so anti seedless grapes... as if she's the one eating them anyway) and a couple of bananas.

053106_fruit

Oh my god, speaking of fruits, those photos are so Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2000. Remember the fruit market show?

053106_dolce

When someone emails you this, it means it's TIME to clean up your act and get rid of the fat fact!

053106_ouch

Anyway, so I came up with a new diet plan. At least for the next 2-3 weeks. Maybe a month. Who knows.

053106_dietchart

There's hope, everyone! I printed a copy of this photo. Afterall, I need some sort of thinspiration. Shit, even my tummy looked soooo big back then.

053106_thereshope

I'll give my diet plan a shot. If it works, I'll write a book about it. My new diet plan could be the next New York Times Bestseller.

053106_goodbyefat

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, TURN YOUR BACKS AGAINST FAT!

I popped by the gas station to pick up something to quench my thirst (ugh.. this will be my LAST diet coke ever) before going to my dermatologist's clinic for my facial. I'm soo stupid. I went to the supermarket and I totally forgot to buy a drink!!!

053106_gas

Sunglasses by Dior, striped top by Dolce & Gabbana, Hermès scarf worn as a belt, jeans from Citizens of Humanity, sneakers from Kenzo, bag from Goyard.

053106_afterfacial

052506_attentionwhore

Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shot

I'd pick this one because it seems so real...

053106_obpapa

compared to this one.

053106_obpapa2

053106_valentinoYou know, after writing this blog post, I barely remember what happened in my other dream about Valentino and Nicole Kidman. I know the three of us went aboard Valentino's yacht. Some Italian guy snatched my passport away from me, Valentino called the Italian Prime Minister and Nicole consoled me by giving me a drink.

I think I tried to force-feed Nicole the same way foie gras farms force-feed ducks (I love foie gras!). Nicole cried and Valentino told Nicole that she should eat. I said something like "you know Nicole, you should try things at least once." then Valentino snapped at me telling me "you know, you should try to things at least once" and pointed at my bloated tummy.

I can't remember what else had happened. *sigh*

052506_attentionwhore

Faggotry in Motion #004

Here's another video for you guys. Enjoy!

Click here for some of my other FAGGOTRY IN MOTION videos.

I think that's all for now.

OMG, I love Paula Abdul's (or her personal assistant's) Goyard... look at that skull!. Photo courtesy of TheFashionSpot. I'm totally digging her personal bag carrier's look. Paula Abdul on the other hand looks scary. It's time for me to buy a new Goyard...

053106_goyard

I think that's all for now. God I really look so fucked up these days I need to get my act together. Seriously. I'm getting uglier and uglier as I get older. Dontcha hate ageing?

I'm going shopping!

I love you all. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
(BTW CARBON COPY MY bryanboy@gmail.com EMAIL ACCOUNT CAUSE MY DAMN SERVER FUCKS UP ON ME SOMETIMES)

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. Be sure to visit my site tomorrow cause boy I have a BIG surprise for you, courtesy of the lovely folks at Shu Uemura. Stay tuned.

Continue reading "Aiming for Anorexia: The Official Bryanboy "DYING TO BE THIN" Diet and Faggotry in Motion #004" »

October 05, 2005

Delay, Delay, Delay, Louis Vuitton Goodies, Age, Exciting Estonia

Delay Delay Delay

A big hello to all of you. I know I haven't updated much in the past two days. I've been terribly, terribly busy. Plus, my colds and cough are still here. I'm fine though - don't you dare thanks for worrying about me. your thoughts of sympathy are good but I need a new Chanel bag.

Unfortunately, I started smoking again. Yesterday, to be exact... after a 6-day lung holiday.

Save the lung cancer sermon - I don't need it. In fact, shove this imagery up your buttocks if you want. I look forward to the day when my lungs turn pitch black.

Lung_cancer_adenocarcinoma_tumor

Err, ok, I take that back.

I'll stop smoking. I promise.

I look forward to the day I turn 75 - at least I'll get to wear Oscar de la Renta.

Going back to business, my god, I'm soo anxious to see what my best friend Kelly's offspring are gonna be.

Yeah right.

I actually know what they are already. (DUH)

It's just that I can't reveal them until Friday night. That's what I said on the invite.

Everyone knows that patience is a word that does NOT exist in my vocabulary. A pretentious parrot such as myself will never, ever, voluntarily shut his mouth for a few days to stop himself from bragging.

Keeping this secret from each and everyone of you is nothing but pure torture!

Ugh!

I think y'all gonna die if you knew what's inside those two eggs. I'll give you a couple of hints:

- they're both brown
- one of them has some of the world's most exotic skins
- one of them is bigger than the other
- one of them can fit inside the other

Teaser_1

Teaser2_1

Enough already.

I know it's already quite obvious from those two pictures but please gargle and swallow that man cream cum like a proper whore so you won't ruin it for everyone else.

Besides, it could be an iguana or a ferret.

You never know.

Keep an eye out on Friday, October 7, 2005.

And yes, I know what you're thinking. Shut IT. Oh yes. Just STOP, STOP, STOP looking at my arms and my bulging stomach. I know I'm BALLOONING to UNBELIEVABLE PROPORTIONS. It's hard being a surrogate mother. Contrary to what people think, I will never, ever, ever accept that dirty rumor our ancestors said over time. I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT the "joys of motherhood" is worth all that excess flesh and stretch marks that motherhood brings. That's all bollocks, I'm telling you.

I'm not even a real mother yet I already have stretch marks.

Bah! I won't dig my own grave any further. What would my future grandchildren think if they read this blog in year 2080 and see that I admitted having stretch marks on a public domain?

Louis Vuitton Goodies

Yesterday was quite productive. I accomplished a ton of stuff - went to my usual haunt in Greenbelt, enjoyed a huge lunch with my gal pal Tina. As always, I enjoyed our our favorites - baked oysters, foie gras with green apple tart, duck confit, green mango and prawns salad.

Picked up a few things at Louis Vuitton - bought a bag strap and a bracelet. My special orders from Paris also arrived - my ski bonnet and my fur gloves.

Vskihat_furgloves

This Thing About My Age

Stop this ludicrous commotion about my age - all of you!

Since when did a number became so important in your backwater swamp gossip talks? Heck, the only set of numbers that are important to me is the number of unfortunate guys I've slept with, my American Express card number and of course, the number of times I ask my maid to fetch me a glass of water each and every day.

Let me clarify this once and for all.

I'm too old to be a runway model in Milan, too young to be a pensioner, too old to be a pedophile's sexual prey, too young to be a parent (of any kind), too old to be barely legal.

In other words, I'm....

cha-chin,. cha-ching, cha-ching

18.

However, I'll leave it up to YOUR imagination on how many ++ (plus plus) you'd like to add to that age.

Have you guys forgotten my annual 18th birthday party this year when i failed dressing up like a proper bloke on knickers ladyboy?

Now as for that special someone at the LVLU discussion forums who thought I'm 17 years old...

Well, I wouldn't call you special for nothing.

Let's leave it at that.

Cha-ching! ;)

Exciting Estonia

I've been thinking of going dropping by Tallinn, Estonia (and Riga, Latvia) mid-trip on my Russian holiday. Like most countries, I need a fucking visa to go to that "Nouveaux-Euro" country. One of their visa requirements is the fact that I need to have some invitation to visit their country, even as a tourist.

Blah blah blah Kabbalah.

Unfortunately, there are no Estonian embassies in South East Asia so I have to fedex my passport and visa application to some far-flung place (i.e. USA).

I'm just waiting a response from their immigration people to see what they have to say.

Why Estonia?

2 names baby.

Carmen Kass and Tiiu Kuik.

If that country can export fine specimen such as those two, I'm curious on what they have in store over there.

Grocery shopping you ask?

Not quite.

Believe it or not, I had my first ever encounter with someone Estonian yesterday. We exchanged quite a few messages and he seems to be nice.

Hold the malicious thoughts right there. All we did is talked about friggin Estonia.

Estonian

I'll keep you posted in the next few weeks to come whether or not I'm going to Tallinn as well.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1- Bryanboy loves people from Zaventem, Belgium, Reading, MA, Wellers Hill, Queensland, Australia, Pennsauken, NJ, Saint Paul, MN, Woodhaven, NY, Piedmont, CA and of couse, people from Manila, Philippines. Identify yourselves, bitches - Bryanboy loves each and everyone of you.

#2 - People from Finland are talking about me. God knows what they are talking about though - and I don't care. It's nice to get some attention from the far north. Click here to read the thread on some discussion forum. Big brownie points if you can understand what the hell they are talking about. Hello Finland!!!!

#3 - Jesus, the heat here is FUCKING killing me. I've got my airconditioning set to the coldest temperature it's capable of but the heat seeps through our fucking roof - yes, we have third world roofing. We're poor!

#4 - The Kate Moss cocaine video is out. Let's all put this issue down to rest shall we?

More upates later. Promise!

As always, you know where to contact me... +63-915-785-1492 or bryanboy@gmail.com.

Baboosh!

January 06, 2005

Call of the wild and the US$1.03 Monkey

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

I admit. I'm not the type of person who usually watches TV. I refuse to have a TV set in my room. I'm so anti-TV. I like to shelter myself from the evils of cheap, commercial culture for the masses. The television is for people who cannot entertain themselves by doing "normal" stuff. The only time I'll make an exception is whenever I watch a movie (DVD) or when Paris Hilton is there (that's not watching TV... that's getting education) or whenever I watch CNN.

For the past 3 weeks now, I found myself watching the TV more and more. Normal TV shows for normal people. I'd say I now spend around 1 hour a day watching TV. Although yes, you will never see me sit in front of the damn set for 30 consecutive minutes, I've discovered all sorts of shows... and commercials.

There's this one commercial that has been all over the place - McDonald's Beef Prosperity chu chu thing. I swear it's on every 5 minutes whatsoever.

I have a love-hate relationship with McD's. Generally, I despise em. After all, McD's is to blame for all the god-forsakened fat people all over the world. McD's is pretty much the mecca of all fatdommeccas: this is where the word FAT got invented.

Anyway, look at Asians as an example.

For years, we have been stereotyped as the chinky-eyed, short shorty midget-y, submissive, fuckwhoring bitches to dirty-old-hairy-fat-white-trash gorillas.

While Asian females are fantasized upon as real,

live, human sex toys, Asian males fall into 2

categories: either you're a kung-fu flighting, black-

belted, ching chong man ala <insert Asian action

person here> or the short yet lanky straight-A

bookish nerd.

But ever since McDonald's invaded the continent decades ago, things have changed.

Whenever I go out to the scene these days, there's an abundance of tall Asian kids. I'm just as tall as my brother, and I'm 5'9. He's 15 years old and still growing... and no doubt he'll be taller than me. The heights 5'11 and 6-foot is starting to become extremely common. Fine... perhaps the odd 6-foot-7 male types are still rare here but everyone seems to be tall these days... particularly the young ones. Heck, I even know 2 girls who are at least 6-foot tall. And yes, they're Filipino natives... originally from rural areas. 

And there's only one reason to blame. McDonald's.

Enough rambling.

So yeah -- this Beef Prosperity commercial made a huge impact in this household. Everyone had seen it for god knows how many times. The total airtime it had in our heads is probably longer than a 180-minute movie.

Early this afternoon, my mom, my sister and I had enough. Right after watching yet another commercial, we all had this desperate craving churning in our stomachs.

We didn't even bothered to beautify ourselves. Usually, we'll never step out of the house gate wearing house clothes. It is a must for us to look our very best even if we are stepping out a mere 2 inches outside the house. Today was an exception -- to hell with taking a shower, spending 2 hours on what to wear, etc... we just have to taste the nectar of that that well-publicized Beef Prosperity thing.

Wearing plain house clothes and armed with the Visa card, all three of us asked the driver to bring us to the nearest McDonald's, about 5 minutes from our house.

My mom stayed inside the car while my sister and I went in. I swear to god, going inside the doors of McDonald's was like entering the gates of hell... errr a frying pan. My brain was filled with mental images of lard and frying oil.

I had intense hallucinations that I'm turning into the Nutty Professor, with the Ronald McDonald's mascot giving me the fuck-you finger.

As we arrived to the counter, we placed our order.

* 8 Beef Prosperity Burgers (2 for me, 2 for my mom, 1 for my sister Grace, 1 for my brother, 1 for my other sister Genie and 1 for our driver)
* 1 Double Cheese Burger (for my sister Grace)
* 2 Large French Fries (for Grace and me)
* 1 Large Twister Fries (for Grace and my mom)
* 2 x 6-piece Chicken Nuggets (for Genie and me)
* 1 Oreo McFlurry (for Grace and my mom)
* 1 Large Coke

The verdict: Beef Prosperity burger was a complete disappointment. It had bad odour.

As soon as you unwrap the thing, it reeked of

this onion smell (because of the onions), similar to

sweaty, filthy armpits of Eurotrash people.

Also, there was way too much pepper on it. Beef prosperity indeed -- it was prosperous with spices you'd think it came all the way from India from the Tsunami.

Beefprosperity

I know I'm not supposed to be making sensitive jokes after 100,000+ people died but seriously, they should've named this the Tsunami Leftover. The burger must be one of those things that reached our shores.

The only good thing that came out of this mini trip to McDonald's was the fact that I bought one of those happy-meal child toys for $1.03 (58 Filipino bucks).

My sister and I have been looking for big, fuzzy cellphone charms that you can hook at the bottom of your cellphone. Currently, I have a small cat thing I got from a flea market. I used to have the $75 Gucci handbag cellphone charm but I lost it in Moscow. And now I want a bigger, fuzzy doll-like cellphone charm.

Both of us fell in love with the mini stuffed toys the first time we saw them at the counter. There's about 18 of them I think. I got the gold monkey while my sister bought the pink pig. They're kinda cute-ish. But alas, they didn't fit my phone.

Monkey

November 24, 2004

Social Suicide: I'm F-A-T

Oh. my. god.

129My mother recently bought this digital weighing scale and she asked me to try it out. It's been ages since I last weighed myself and I think I got a bit skinnier after going through 6 lipodissolve sessions (on my stomach and arms) before I left for my holiday.

Imagine genuine shock and horror when I found out my true weight.

A staggering onehundredtwentyfuckingnine pounds. At fivefuckingfeetnine short.

Never in my life I have been so obese. Ever. I have always thought I'm in the 110-117 pound range. Perhaps the digital scale was a cheat? Perhaps it's the breakfast I just had? All I had on was a cotton t-shirt and boxer shorts.

That's it. I'm really taking the Reductil pills I've been keeping. I stopped taking them yesterday because reading the insert made me freak out... I only took 2 capsules so far, one on Sunday and one on Monday.

Before I left for Moscow, my doctor told me it would be nice to meet up with her after my trip so we can "catch up" on things.... and now I'm terribly ashamed because I think I gained weight.

Ugh. I'm sooooo pissed at myself it's not even funny.

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