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32 entries categorized "Fans"

June 02, 2006

Getting To Know You, Krakow, Poland Suicides: Death by Bryanboy

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You know what I realized a couple of days ago?

Thousands upon thousands of you visit my website on a regular basis. From Sydney and Osaka, Hamburg, Arkansas and Malmo, Sweden to Buenos Aires, Argentina down to my homies in Los Angeles, CA and Jakarta, Indonesia, millions of you have visited my site since October 2004. It's amazing how a shitload of people all over the world found my little corner of the interweb and the numbers are still growing. You've read all my stories, you've seen and laughed at what seemed to be tens of thousands of my hilarious (and often ridiculous) photographs.

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(That's me at Shu Uemura's latest party)

Now that you've seen a (small) part of my life on my blog after all this time, it's my turn to know more about you, my dear reader.

I've always been curious on who reads my website. I mean, it's quite obvious from the hundreds of "I LOVE BRYANBOY" and "INFAMOUS BRYANBOY POSE" photos that you have sent me, but I believe that's only a very small percentage of the people who read (and/or visit) my blog religiously.

Continue reading "Getting To Know You, Krakow, Poland Suicides: Death by Bryanboy" »

May 26, 2006

Breaking News: ANNA WINTOUR @ DEVIL WEARS PRADA Premiere!

Breaking News: ANNA WINTOUR

Annadwp_1Oh my god. American Vogue Anna Wintour went to the advanced private screening of The Devil Wears Prada (the movie) at the St. Regis Hotel on Tuesday night with her daughter, Bee Shaffer.

Guess what? She wore Prada. I LOVE Nuclear Wintour!!!

From New York Post's Page Six
---
ANNA Wintour has a sense of humor, but there are limits. The icy Vogue editrix accepted Meryl Streep's invitation to Tuesday's screening of "The Devil Wears Prada" - which she wore - but avoided posing for a photo with Streep, who plays an icy fashion magazine editrix in the film. Wintour bolted from the Paris Theatre with her entourage as soon as the credits rolled, skipping the dinner and charity auction at the St. Regis. Wintour, whose entourage included boyfriend Shelby Bryant, daughter Bee Shaffer, and Dixon and Arianna Boardman, "thought the movie was very funny," said her spokesman, who also said Wintour never planned on staying for dinner. One insider denied Wintour purposely avoided posing with Streep, who had never met Wintour before publicist Peggy Siegal introduced them.

052606_charlie"It was so chaotic, we couldn't set up the shot," said our source. In the chaos were Streep's castmates Anne Hathaway, Stanley Tucci and Bridget Hall, plus News Corp. president Peter Chernin and 20th Century Fox co-chair Tom Rothman. Martha Stewart, in the elevator after ward, said, "Wow! Who ever had a boss like that?" Silence.
---

Did you know Anna Wintour's got a son? His name is Charles (Charlie) Shaffer. According to my fag buddy Mauricio he looks gay. I think he looks fugly. Non? Nothing worse than a fugly fag if you ask me. No wonder's leashing out to everyone in the fashion world. He's got a weird-looking fag son.

I don't mind sucking his cock for a couple of nights though.

Imagine having Anna as your mother-in-law.

All the FREEEEEEE clothes and accessories!

Charlie Shaffer photo courtesy of Style.com
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Click here to read more about the Advancec Screening of The Devil Wears Prada from Rush & Molloy of the New York Daily News.

I REALLY can't wait to see this film! That's it... I'm gonna sleep now. It's 9:32AM for god's sake!

Meet Andrés, an 18 year old guy from Argentina. I HATE YOU YOU FUCKING SKINNY BITCH! I AM SO GONNA SMOKE CRACK AND CRYSTAL METH ONE DAY AND BE SKINNIER THAN YOU.

I love you though cause you sent me an I love Bryanboy sign pic.

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Fuck the haters. You know who you are. Jealousy and envy breeds malice my dear. Hahaha! All around the world, from far away places and faraway lands... everyone loves BRYANBOY!

I hope no more nightmares for me today. God forbid if Anna Wintour tells me I'm fat in my dreams. Hah!

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

May 07, 2006

Work itttt! Exercise!, Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shot, 5 Seconds of TV Air Time, Lovely Europeans

050706_embaWork ittttt! Exercise!

After approximately 3 weeks of channeling domestic goddess Martha Stewart, I finally put my best dancing shoes on and went to the city yesterday evening to infuse some nightlife into my system. I'm seriously surprised how I managed to stay indoors in the past couple of weeks. Shit, I've been hibernating in my own little world filled with plaid aprons, white carnations and yellow daisies.

Any child of MY age SHOULD BE out there indulging in crime, mischief and scandals... or get themselves drunk till they pass out and vomit whatever they ate during the day. They should also do hard drugs, enjoy unsafe sex with multiple partners until they get sperminated or preggers and of course, catch a sexually transmitted disease that can be sorted out by a bunch of antibiotics or lice shampoo. Afterall, life is too short not to experience such hell-worthy sins.

Let's face it, it's a waste of youth to stay indoors on a Saturday night, especially if you're in your late teens with raging hormones (like me). I've been ITCHING to expose myself to the toxicity of bars, booze and clubs so I decided to do just that.

I left the house at 10:30PM. On my way to a friend's house, REALITY knocked on my car window while we're waiting for the stoplight to turn green: the REAL and SAD face of the "FAUX-bulous" third world I live in.

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Why is there a young boy, probably younger than 10 years old, selling flowers on the streets late at night when he should be at home asleep?

And there I was... all comfortable in my fully-airconditioned crappy car, all dolled up and decked in ridiculous outfits + accessories that can pretty much feed this child for a year and even send him to a good school.

It really made me think for a second and trust me, this doesn't happen VERY OFTEN considering I'm the most selfish and materialistic son of a bitch you'll probably ever come across.

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I kinda felt guilty about my sins so I gave the kid a bag of chips and a bottle of gatorade that I had in my car.

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He smiled and thanked me. I asked if I can take a photo, he said yes. I thanked him and I closed the window.

I tried to delete, delete, delete, abort, abort, abort, whatever just happened from my head. It wasn't the right time to think about charity and world peace. My mission for the night is to have fun and paint the town periwinkle. The most important thing in the world at that moment is the fact that I'm so fucking beautiful and that was that.

050706_marikoAnyway, I picked up my friend at her place. I also asked my driver to stop by at the cash machine so I can take out some cash. Usually I don't take out that much since everywhere I go takes credit cards - booze, food, botles of champagne, drug dealers, hired hitmen, shit, even prostitutes these days take credit cards... all it takes is one swipe on their ass cheeks and they're yours for the night.

So yeah, US$20 is enough for the night to cover highway toll-fees, fast food take out, tips, my driver's fee, etc.

After entering my pin number, the machine asked how much cash I wanted to take out.

Out of nowhere, I had mental images and flashbacks of the street child's face. The thought of using my visa card to pay for a night's worth of debauchery gave me a weird feeling at the pit of my stomach. Gone are the days where I'd easily and effortlessly throw my plastic to the air and rack up a 6-foot long bar tab in 6pt Arial font.

I figured I'm gonna ditch the visa for once and pay in cash the entire night so I don't go overboard. Afterall, there are children starving on the streets. I entered P3,000, which is about US$60.

Our first stop was this bar called "Nuvo" where we spent quality time chatting. I had a gin tonic and 3 frozen margaritas. It was refreshing indeed.

We then went to my usual haunt, La Embajada. They recently got renovated and it's the first time I went there after their renovation. They now have 2 VIP areas, which is a good thing.

I thought I'd do the infamous Bryanboy pose. Afterall, it was at La Embajada where I gave birth to that pose.

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There weren't a lot of familiar faces so it was fun to let my hair down for a change, get all sweaty and wrecked.

It's refreshing to ditch the glitz, the glamour, the pretension and just dance, dance, dance and sweat like a fuckin rapist!

A fan from Australia even approached me and said hi. See, I'm nice and I don't bite. I got a photo of us taken. Shit, I probably scared the living hell out of her. HAHAHHA. Sorry babes!

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Man, it's just like the good ol' days when me and my sister would go to the club, booze our guts out,  dance like there's no such thing as tomorrow.

I must have lost 5 pounds from all that dancing! To hell with it, I had a complete body workout.

This guy is a good DJ. For the life of god I can't remember his name and I've seen him many, many times.

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Sunglasses by Gucci, bracelet from Hermès, cropped hoodie by Norma Kamali for Everlast, tank top by Fake London, jeans by Fake London, shoes by Dior Homme, Ursula Elise bag from Marc Jacobs collection.

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The Marc Jacobs bag is available at all Marc Jacobs boutiques worldwide, Neiman Marcus, Saks, Bergdorf and eLuxury (US$1,050) in the USA.

Marc Jacobs Collection Gift With Purchase

We left the club at around 3:30AM. I dropped my friend home then I stopped by at McDonald's for a post-clubbing snack. I orderedd chicken nuggets, 2 large fries, a double cheeseburger, a big mac and a large coke.

And yes bitches, I ate them all. There goes my 5 pounds eh?

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Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shot

Due to high demand from my readers, I am now gonna post an "obligatory paparazzi shot" going on forward. Many of you have emailed telling me you enjoy these shots so I'll try to do this often.

Isn't it my cropped hoodie sooo Muslim chic? Perhaps I should make a trend out of the burka. Sooo sexy!

050706_obligatory

5 SECONDS OF TV AIR TIME

Guess who got 5 seconds of TV Air Time in San Diego, California?

I'd like to give a big shout out to Peter from San Diego. In his own words, "thousands of San Diegans know that somebody in San Diego loves Bryanboy."

Peter sent a text message to be shown on the big screen in between performances. It's a concert featuring Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Chris Brown and other folks.

Visit Peter's website at http://www.petterz.com.

Thanks babe. You're a doll!!! You're doing the world a big favor by spreading my gospel and the glory of my faggotry.

Lovely Europeans

Those Europeans sure do know how to make a gook like me happy. They love their labels as much as I do.

Meet Oliver from France...

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...Terry from Italy

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... and of course, the father of my first born child, Alex from the UK, who is the original "I LOVE BRYANBOY mascot.

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It's Sunday, 6:54PM. I'm gonna work on Podcast #006 and my much-awaited Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax post.

You all know where to contact me. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all. Don't do anything that I won't do and remember kids, keep your chastity belts on.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

April 26, 2006

I'm getting bored...

I'm getting bored...

First things first... I'd like to give a big shout out to readers of Elle Girl magazine in the Netherlands. Thanks for loving and talking about me.

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Ik HOUD van ELKE EN ELKE ÉÉN VAN U! VERZEND ME een BEELD VAN U DIE HOUDEN Het TEKEN Ik van de LIEFDE BRYANBOY! KUSSEN!!!

Ok. My Dutch is all wrong and that's what I get from using one of those online translator things. Hopefully y'all get the jist out of it. HAHAHAHA!

Moving on...

I finally managed to get my lazy fat ass to my dermatologists yesterday afternoon. There's a photo shoot I need to go to and I have to look pretty.

First stop: Coffee Bean

THANK god the whipped cream-serving bulldyke of a midget wasn't there. I don't want anyone to be spitting on my drink (unless they're cute, hot and rich... but then again, no cute, hot and rich person will work as a barista) after whingeing on my blog.

Just to be safe, I EXPLICITLY told the lovely lady behind the counter that I DO NOT WANT WHIPPED CREAM on my drink... my wish is her command.

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Cardigan by LAROK, white tank top by Calvin Klein, brown/rust-colored jeans from Acne Jeans (Sweden), boots from Fruit, bag from Hermès, amber and gold necklace from Kenneth Jay Lane, sunglasses from Dior

Boy I got a surprise for all of you.

You see, I often get asked as to who takes my photos. In addition to my familia de horreur members and friends, well, let me unveil one of them. Meet my maid, Eunice.

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Eunice has been my maid for quite some time and she's the best, best, best friend a faggot like me can ever have. She's got everything about me memorised. She knows some of my deepest, darkest secrets. She's been with me through obesity and thin and up to this day, I've never heard a single word (.. or grunt) from her in spite of everything that she's done for me, like cleaning up all my puke on the bathroom floor after a good night out... or  my soiled, skid mark-infested underwear.

My nonsexual wife anorexic daughter Hannah would complain about her "hunchback" maid, Simang, every once in a while.

HOY HANNAH, at least your maid ain't a lesbian!!!

Today's obligatory paparazzi shot.042506_paparazzi

I have a feeling my maid Eunice might be a lesbo. I've never seen her show any kind of perverted emotion towards guys.

OK... WAITTTTT.. she thinks that Piolo (spelling?) Pascual Filipino actor guy is cute.

Yuck!

She won't believe me when I told her that he's gay like a row of pink camping tents.

Oh well.

042606_facial

So yeah, I had my usual glycopeel cleaning/extraction facial.

For the first time in ages, I didn't feel any pain today. God knows why. I usually have low tolerance for pain, expecially while having a facial done. I know I scream like a pregnant prostitute bitch in labor every time my aesthetician extracts a white head from one of my blocked pore.

Today's lack of pain made me think about things I don't usually think about on a day-to-day basis.

For instance, sometime last week, I told a friend on how I'm starting to get bored. I expressed my desire to experience something new, like, learn a new skill or take up cooking classes.

She suggested that we learn a foreign language together... take up French at one of those Alliance Francaise centers. I told her sure, why not. We even checked the availability online and the session that we want won't start until October. There's a 3rd and 4th session but we're both planning to travel around June/July/August.

While the lady pricked my face, I realized I'm at that stage where everything is just stagnant. I'm turning into a stale, 20-something.

I mean, I know I've changed tremendously in the past 12 months. However, if I look at it on a different perspective, it feels as if I'm not going anywhere. My life's at a standstill and I'm doing the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

I told my friend this and she thinks "I've gone so far and achieved so much already".

042606_facial1I remember the old times when I used to deny myself from owning to what I've achieved in order to delude myself into thinking I have a tiny bone of humility inside me.

But I still can't can't help but ask myself the $64 million question.

WHERE AM I GOING AT THIS POINT?

Let's face it, I won't deny that all I do is shop, shop, shop, work, work, work, shop, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, work, eat, eat, eat, spread my faggotry to the world, shop, shop, spread my faggotry to the world.

It's gotten to the point where it's like a routine.

Shit, it's MY routine.

Everything used to be fun. Every time I get a material 'acquisition'...a  bag, a jacket, everything... it brings a genuine smile to my face and I feel soo... contented. I know I once said that being severely materialistic makes up for my lack of non-material things in life. But in all honesty, I don't take my sense of materialism too seriously. Afterall, it's only material stuff!

Enough ranting. I already sound like a broken record.

I think it might be therapeutic if I list what I want to happen SOON.

  • have a clear sense of direction on where I'm heading
  • experience something NEW and FUN!
  • learn something NEW... a new skill, a new hobby, whatever

(Would you believe I even went as far as researching VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES in countries like ECUADOR and ROMANIA? I don't know what came over me considering there's over 80 million people who need help in my own backyard. My familia de horreur had always told me to stay away from hallucinogenic drugs and the people who take them.)

042606_baboosh

Before you go on a high horse and bombard me with your PREDICTABLE sanctimonious crap, I'm begging you to please avoid telling me to

  • just be "myself" (and)
  • donate to charity.

An escape from reality is what I need. Away from the blog, the Chanel, the Fendi, the Goyard, the shopping, the facials, the cellphone, the internet, the familia de horreur and of course, the sheer thought at the back of my mind that I'm surrounded by vultures who are constantly looking for that perfect opportunity to devour me alive.

I need a holiday. A 1 or 2 month-long vacation. Somewhere extremely remote and far-flung but close to civilization. Somewhere where nobody knows me and I know nobody.

Somewhere like Skåne, Sweden.
042606_sweden1

I want to be surrounded by nature. I want to pick fresh flowers, see trees, ride a huge horse. I want to buy a lot of art materials and learn how to paint scenery etc., that sort of thing. I also want to get gangbanged by well-hung farmboys and have hot and horny mixed-race baby-making sex on top of a tractor.

Remember Jakob, the Swedish guy I met up with in Copenhagen> He's the only person in the world who managed to made me walk (and you KNOW I despise walking) for like 2-3 hours just to find that bloody Little Mermaid Statue?

042606_jakob

Well, he offered to take me to his summer house in Varberg middle of nowhere bumfuck Sweden.

If I take him up on his offer that beats the purpose of me travelling somewhere where "no one knows me and I know nobody".

Hmmm pakipot ka pa alam mo naman kung saan matutuloy yan.

I wanna go to Skåne god dammit.

Oh I'm just soooo bored with life right now. All I need is change. That's all.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. The only thing that making life worth living is your love. And John Galliano.

Bryanboy loves Erick from Vandenberg AFB (Air Force Base?) California. Erick sweetie you do know that one of goals in life is to get gangbanged by the military/navy/army/men in black etc, right? PLEASE GET SOME OF YOUR AIR FORCE BUDDIES TO STRIP NAKED AND HOLD AN I LOVE BRYANBOY SIGN FOR ME.

042606_love1

Screw the don't ask don't tell policy. If I get gangbanged by men in uniform, I want MAXIMUM MILEAGE, MAXIMUM PUBLICITY. I want to make a shitload of MONEY and sell videos of it.

Failing that, the Bryanboy pose picture will do just fine. :)

042606_love2

You really love me do you now? Can I ride your aeroplane? It's my aeroplannnneeee...

042606_love3_1 

Alex from Tasmania, Australia. Big kisses from me to you. I love ya lots darling even if you sent me a damn photochopped photo. I SAID NO PHOTOSHOPPED ONES... HAHAHA ;)

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This set of photos is better than PORN!!! I jacked off 10 times and my balls are the size of raisins. Courtesy of Clair from Perth, Australia.

(This is what I call TRUE LOVE)

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PPPSSS. OH MY GOD. THIS VIDEO HAS GOT TO BE THE GAYEST VIDEO I HAVE EVER AND I MEAN EVER SEEN.

I'm gonna go to sleep now. I have a photo shoot later today.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

April 25, 2006

"Everybody wants to be us."

"Everybody wants to be us."

Lookie lookie at what I found on the internet earlier. It's a trailer of The Devil Wears Prada.

So far so good. I like the movie already!!! My favourite line? EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE US.

Hahahahah! Classic. I LOOOOOVE IT.

I suddenly had this huge burst of mental images in my head!

MySpace faggots hear ye hear ye. That "Everybody wants to be us" line is going to be MY line of the year!

I can totally picture myself as a nasty, catty, bitchy, self-centered, delusional, egotistical, so-full-of-me-me-me-and-no-one-but-me Mean Girls (Regina George) queen bee-type of person saying that line (over and over and over) to my latest fledgling minions.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I can't wait to see this movie.

Screw Anna Wintour. I know I love her dearly but I like Carine Roitfeld (Vogue Paris Editor-in-Chief) more. Carine is amazing.

She's extremely edgy and chic, she has impeccable taste, she's got a fuck all fuck you attitude on things and she seems lively and fun.

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BryanBoy: i really wanna see carine roitfeld and anna wintour go into a fight and then carine take over american vogue

mauricio: they won't, they love each other

BryanBoy: they do???

mauricio: haha no. they can't stand the sight of each other. that's why they're never in pictures together

Oooooh I want to be just like her when i get older.

She's got 2 children, Julia and Vladimir Restoin. I like Julia.

042506_julia

I think she's pretty... and she used to date Starving Nachos. The Vladimir guy looks like a vampire. Too gothic-looking. Maybe it's the poor quality of the scan. He sorta looks like Olivier Theyskens in this photo.

My favourite Carine quote: "Black? 'It's finished.' Leather? 'No good as you get older.' Jewellery? 'I hate watches. I never wear these things.' Thongs? 'Before I love strings. Now I hate strings.' Handbags? 'You can wear a completely transparent shirt and show all the breasts - I don't care. But I prefer to have my hands in my pocket than to have a nice little bag. So I am not good for all these fashions. They have to sell bags, bags, bags, bags, bags, bags. I hate handbags.'"

Click here to read the full article from the Daily Telegraph.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - I'll keep this entry short and sweet. It's 7:10AM and I'm knackered to the bone. I'm gonna sleep in a bit cause I have to wake up early in the afternoon... I'm gonna go to my aestheticians and get myself pampered.

#2 - Bryanboy loves people from Gibraltar, Irvine, CA, Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada, Svartskog, Norway, Seould, Korea,  Atlanta, GA, Perth, Australia, Tampere, Finland (where the hell is this???), Dublin, Ireland, Orrius, Cataluna Spain, Kaarina, Finland, Pico Rivera, CA, Durham, NC, Tulsa, OK, Pasadena, CA, Nueva York, Chiapas, Mexico, Juprelle, Belgium and of course, all the fabulous people from Kingston, Jamaica. I love each and every one of you. Say hi faggots, don't be shy!

#3 - It's been quite awhile since I posted your renditions of the infamous Bryanboy pose. I'm gonna create a photo album with all your images sometime this week. Just give me time.

By the meantime, take a look at these photos. You're all adorable and I love the photos!!!

Kate from Illinois
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Francis from the Philippines
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Hannah and Judy
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Carlo
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Someone who wants to remain anonymous...
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...and of course, Tatiana from France.
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Send me more photos assholes! Be creative! Have fun! Be spontaneous! I want pictures of you doing the 'pose' or you holding an I LOVE BRYANBOY sign. You know where to send them. Email bryan@bryanboy.com.

# 4 - Speaking of Stavros, oh my god. He looks really rough and dirty. Eeek!!

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#5  - Lookie lookie on who stole my Fendi spy! Isn't it great how she lost weight? The face is still flat out fat though. As soon as she sorts out that chin she'll forever remain OBESE in my books.

042506_kelly

I loooove the image change. Give yourself a good pat on the back sweetie!

#6 - Tora B from Los Angeles emailed me a photo of that Bobby Trendy character. I have NO words. HAHAHAHAHA! Take a look at his skin... and the clothes. My oh my!

So this is what "FAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS" looks like. Oh dear.

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#7 - Ooooo. Look at what I got via email!! Isn't it loverly?

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I think that's all for now. I'll update later in the afternoon.

I love you all as always. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

April 20, 2006

Dream of Domestication

Dream of Domestication

Pay your surgeon very well to break the spell of aging. Celebrity skin is this your chin or is that war you're waging. First born unicorn, hardcore soft porn... Dream of californication. Dream of californication.

I'm becoming

April 19, 2006

AZNNNN FUCKIN PRIDE, Fendi's B-bag, Kimora's a Keeper, Lucky Jean, Forbidden Fruit, Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

041806_kimsamsoonAZNNNN FUCKIN PRIDE

Oh my god. You are so not gonna believe what I've gotten myself into these days.

I am sooooooooooo sorry for the lack of updates recently. My mother made me watch all these Korean DVDs and thanks to her, I'm totally hooked. I just finished watching the entire "My Name is Kim Sam Soon" set... all 9 DVDs of them.

I'm telling you... those Korean DVDs are evil. EVIL EVIL EVIL!

I bet my soul is burning in Seoul as I speak. All these Korea Korean nonsense DVDs are a threat to my fabulousness - I haven't done anything productive in the past 2 days.

I don't even know why I liked watching em. I laughed. I cried a little bit. I got pissed off. Heck, I could barely understand the English subtitles yet the damn soap was entertaining.

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Someone please rescue me before I develop an intraracial obsession.

I'm seriously thinking of buying a plane ticket to Seoul and get myself a Korean loverboy. Those Korean guys are starting to grow on me. I think they're lovely. A shitload of them look gay. Take that Hyun Bin guy (one of the lead characters in Kim Sam Soon) for instance. Man, he looks soo gay he's soo cute.

Look at those nails!!!!! French tips! They're SOOOOOOO FUCKIN GAYYYYYYYYY!!

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THIS IS INSANE!!!!

I already feel dirty for googling him and search for his pictures.

Why oh why am I doing this? This is completely absurd and preposterous. This AZN obsession has to stop. Next thing you know, I'd be dancing to J-POP (Japanese Pop), wear Hello Kitty outfits and say SUPER KAWAIIIIIIIIIIII.

Besides, I don't wanna end up with someone who looks like this.

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Dirty dirty dirty.

You know what's even funny? I've been having daily chat sessions with one of my long-time Mexican buddies, Mauricio, who is now in Madrid. We're both having a little asian obsession right now. SOMEONE PLEASE TURN US INTO TAI-TAIS!!!!!!

---
mauricio: you got to fix me up with one of your rich asian friends

BryanBoy: they're all straight and married hahahaha

mauricio: fuck dem asians

BryanBoy: exactly. we need aryans sweetie. think of the babies. mixed race babies are the chanel of babies

mauricio: i want asian, it's easier, they'll be all ooh and aah with my big eyes and my natural wavy hair, and my big dick cuz these are asian. everything is big to them.

BryanBoy: hahahahahahahahaha
---
mauricio: i love being un-PC

BryanBoy: look at friggin AZN pride. it's like incest. it's hard to penetrate asian society. no wonder everyone looks the same.

mauricio: but i look white. they love the white

BryanBoy: not the yellow ones babe. it's the brownies who love the white. sucky sucky 5 dolla you love me long time 10 dolla. you gib 20 dolla i gib free tom yum

mauriciom: out of roast duck?
---
mauricio: dood, these brownies need to get with the program and give me money

Bryanboy: HAHAHAHAHHAHA

mauriciom: i'm so going filipino hunting

BryanBoy: Come to the philippines. They'd LOOOVE you here. Flips love foreigners. you'd be soooo exotic here.

mauricio:  maybe then i can be a tai tai
---
mauricio: i need a tagalog dictionary if i'm gonna successfully infiltrate filipino society

BryanBoy: hmm. you don't need a dictionary babe. all you need to do is wave your exotic dick and speak the international language of love.
---

Enough already!

I don't wanna be disowned by my own race. Being disowned by your friends and family is bad enough. HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Peace out.

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Fendi's B-bag

Get your Fendi B bags PRONTO! Just got a medium-sized canvas B-bag with the black patent and it's gorgeous! I know I look rough and unshaven - I asked my maid Eunice to take these photos at 5:17AM earlier when I chatted to my buddy Mauricio in Madrid.

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Norma Kamali for Everlast black cocoon cardigan, cheapo black tank top from god knows where, jeans by Cheap Monday, Fendi B bag, Dior sunglasses.

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Large patent leather B bags run at US$2,000 while the medium-sized canvas bag with black patent leather buckles is set at US$1,430. Available at eLuxury.com, Neiman Marcus, Bergdorf Goodman and Fendi stores worldwide.

Kimora's a Keeper

I'd like to say hello and give a big shout out to all the wonderful people from CRUNKTASTICAL (aka CRUNK + DISORDERLY). I love each and every one of you bitches. I'm glad to know that one of the hottest sites for African-American entertainment loves me.

Some of you think that I can give Kimora a run for her millions but in all seriousness, I'm just a little dirty middle class brown gook who lives in the cesspit of a fabulous land in the third world called the Philippines. If you can find me a sugar daddy, preferably with ill-gotten wealth (i.e. firearms business, drug dealing, stolen cars, insurance fraud, etc), no older than 35 with at least 9-figures worth in liquid assets and a 9-inch dick, please feel free to pass them my web address and tell me to contact me as soon as possible.

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I've got no words to say. Kimora likes to soak her feet in champagne. That's outrageous! I know good ol' Kate Moss filled a tub with bubbly at one point but this is something else. Thanks for giving me a new photo to jack off to. A friend and I loved that ad campaign where she came out of a private jet. Kimora's a keeper y'all!!

Visit Crunktastical at http://www.crunktastical.blogspot.com.

Lucky Jean

Her name is Jean Godfrey-June and she's the Beauty Editor of Lucky Magazine.

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Photo credit: New York Times

According to the her interview published at the New York Times, this v.v. Lucky lady gets anywhere between 50-250 product samples daily, along with fabulous items such as Pucci scarves, yoga mats and novelty chocolates. The article also mentioned how beauty editors (at least in the USA, don't know elsewhere) also get Prada outfits, Cartier watches, free restaurant meals, press lunches at the Four Seasons, cosmetic treatments, exotic trips, free limo rides and trips to La Perla with $1,000 gift certificates etc. that sort of thing.

Click here to read the article.

I have one thing to say: HOLY FUCKING SHIYETTTTTT.

I am soooo fucking jealous.

I think I already wrote on a previous post that I read a British Vogue article about another beauty editor who literally filled her entire house with beauty products to the point where she stored hundred-dollar creams and potions in her kitchen cupboard.

Also, one of my good friends here in Manila told me how her car trunk was constantly filled with beauty products when she held the same position at one point.

Set it in stone bitches. One day I'm gonna have a job exactly like that.

Except I'd get free accessories. Lots and lots and lots and lots of free accessories.

Forbidden Fruit

Am I really the forbidden fruit? What do you think will it take for someone like you to love me?

Sometimes, I feel like I'm a bald, virgin vagina that belongs to an 11 year old named "Tiffany Tara". You know you want to love me but you can't cause you've got yourself on a self-imposed restraining order. It's forbidden. Very forbidden.

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Danalove

What's up with all these white people sending tummy pictures? I WANT FACES GOD DAMMIT. Thanks for the love though ;)

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As always, you know where to send imagery of your love. Email bryan@bryanboy.com. 

For the life of god, please be creative. I've been begging and begging and begging and begging for you people to go to the nearest fire or police station and get a bunch of macho, muscled men in uniform hold the "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign. HAHAHAHAHA!

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Conegliano, Italy, Eggenhof, Germany, Aalbeek, Netherlands, Mechelen, Begium, Helsinki, Finland, Gatineau, Quebec Canada, Diserd, Sweden, Oxton, UK, ozone Park, NY, Essendon, VIC Australia, Parow, South Africa, East Meadow, NY, Wirksworth, UK, Monrovia, CA, Kiel, Belgium, Solna Sweden, Lisbon, Portugal and of course, all the gorgeous guys and hot chicks from Orlando, FL. I love each and every one of you mother fuckers. Say hi, don't be shy!

#2 - I love Kim Aviance. You have to watch this video. If Amanda Lepore is the world's #1 transexual, Kim Aviance is the world's best drag queen.

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Click here to watch Kim Aviance at Amanda Lepore's birthday.

My friend Mauricio told me that we should roll like Kim. I told him not with confetti but cold, hard cash or cocaine. Then he said, cocaine bricks and Harry Winston diamonds!!!

Imagine the show eh? I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!!!

#3 - I just checked my stats and I'm quite surprised how only 13% of my readership comes from the Philippines. Prime proof that my laughable presence is still relatively unknown in this country... Either that or more and more people from other countries are reading my blog therefore fucking up my Philippine-related statistics.

Believe it or not, I'd rather be unknown in my homeland so I can still keep this place as a safe haven of some sort. One must be insane for wanting to be a big fish in such a small pond.

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#4 - I need a publicist. For free. Someone who can make me even famous in exchange for sexual favours. Someone like Eliot Mintz, who is Paris Hilton's publicist, except cuter.

Shit, I can't even believe I asked one of my friends whether he's gay or not. My friend hasn't even heard of him. I searched on google for his picture and found this.

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I guess anyone who looks like a carrot standing next to Yoko Ono is gay. My friend told me he looks antique. HAHAHAHAH. I replied back telling him Eliot kinda looks like vintage Louis Vuitton steamer trunks pre-monogram era. Whatever, right? He's still one of Hollywood's most powerful publicists.

#5 - Speaking of Louis Vuitton, it's been ages since I visited their website. I went there the other day and boy I had goosebumps watching (and listening to) the flash file intro. You have to see AND listen to it for yourself. Click here.

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#6 - Man, Marc Jacobs is lookin really old these days. Marc having lunch with La Lohan.

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#7 - Does anyone know who made the skinny jeans Nicole is wearing? I want them...

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#8 - Keep an eye out on Gram shoes/sneakers. Gram is one of Sweden's newest design exports. I really, really, really love those Swedes.

They even named their shoes based on the weight of the shoe themselves. Personally I like the high-cut sneaker in white denim.

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www.gramdesign.se

#9 - Have you ever been harassed on the street? You have to check out this blog. It's soooo hilarious. Women all over the place take pictures of their harassers and post them online. 

http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com

Harassment is wrong, evil and dirty. But in all seriousness, if my harasser is cute, hot, rich and well-hung, I'd open my ass wide and give it to him with no restraint whatsoever.

I'm gonna stop myself from making comments about sexual harassment. I don't wanna open a can-full of worms because at the end of the day, I'm still a perverted faggot.

I think that's all for now. I REALLY have to work on my podcast and reply to all my emails.

I love each and every one of you. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

April 16, 2006

Black Saturday My Fucking Ass

041506_blacksaturdayBlack Saturday My Fucking Ass

I know exactly where I'm going after I die: I'm going straight to fuckin hell.

I was bored out of my skull Saturday afternoon. Everyone's on fuckin vacation (because of the long, not-so-holy-weekend), people are avoiding me like the plague, there's no one to talk to and there's ABSOLUTELY nothing to do at home.

Even my own mother went anti-social the past couple of days. She normally doesn't watch soap operas but thanks to my aunt, the poor woman got hooked on watching all these Korean soaps (with english subtitles)... on DVD!! I'm telling you, for the past 48 hours, all shyanboy/images/041506_stare.jpg" border="0" />

We also went to the Body Shop. I bought some bath gel and coconut body scrub.

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We roamed around for a bit. We didn't find anything we like so we ended up at The Coffee Bean. I asked for the usual vanilla ice blended.

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After finishing our drinks, my sister thought we should go home but I told her I wanna stop by the nearby playground and take some fun pictionary shots. HAHAHAHAHAH!

FYI: it's nice to unleash our inner child from time to time. I find it refreshing and very therapeutic.

&lat matters is I think look preetttttttyyyyyy.

Pregnant tummy and all.

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My sister and I went to Cibo (a lovely Italian place) for a quick snack. I had sausage. Ugh. We were planning to have coffee but it was soo fucking hot so we decided to go somewhere airconditioned. Think 36 degrees celsius or 97F!!!

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After Cibo, we went to the bookstore to have a quick look, ended up buying a magazine and popped by at Starbucks for a quick iced cafe latte.

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We also went to the Body Shop. I bought some bath gel and coconut body scrub.

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We roamed around for a bit. We didn't find anything we like so we ended up at The Coffee Bean. I asked for the usual vanilla ice blended.

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After finishing our drinks, my sister thought we should go home but I told her I wanna stop by the nearby playground and take some fun pictionary shots. HAHAHAHAHAH!

FYI: it's nice to unleash our inner child from time to time. I find it refreshing and very therapeutic.

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I started sweating like a rapist after 10 minutes of playtime.

Fuck glamour, sweetie!!!!!!!!

I've never had this much fun before! I don't give a shit if my armpits and my back got wet from all that sweat. Screw it if my anti-perspirant didn't work this time.

I MUST HAVE LOST AT LEAST 5 POUNDS!!!!

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You can laugh all you want at my armpit and back sweatmarks.

Put yourself in my shoes though.

Play in that little kiddie play pen in this nasty, hot + humid weather, and wear a shitload of accessories 200 times your body weight.

I'd like to see if you manage not to drop a single sweat.

Right when we were about to leave, a lovely couple approached me and asked if they can take a photo.

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The only thing that bothers me now is whether or not I put my hand on my waist when I posed. I hope I didn't. I bet they're all laughing at my sweaty armpit. Fuck it though. LOL

Of course I said yes because I'm nice and I'm sweet. I'm also a cam and attention whore. I love it when people take pictures of me. As long as I look fuckin pretty. But alas, people always seem to catch me at my worse. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. For instance, when I went to that mini island holiday, 2 gals took a pic of me.

Boy I look like a fuckin rough lumberjack and I had facial hair!!!

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(Big shout out to Maureen and Tara. Thanks for emailing me the photo. LOL)

Whatever, right?

I'm glad I can make people smile. It doesn't matter whether you're laughing AT me or laughing WITH me. What matters is the fact that I'm able to evoke some sort of an emotion.

In all seriousness though, it's a nice feeling to be recognized by people simply because of my little website of nothingness and faggotry. You see, nobody really paid attention to me when I was a child. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

On our way home, we stopped by at the gas station to buy random sundries. You see, I've always wondered what it's like to be a gas station boy and pump gas into people's holes. I mean, I've never done it before. I've always been the catcher, not the pitcher.

I'm not gonna let this opportunity pass so my sister and I ran to the pump and took photos.

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Overall my Black Saturday was fun.

I'll say it again - I genuinely have never had so much clean fun in ages... without the aid of booze or anything toxic.

The only thing that pretty much ruined my day is the time when I went back to my computer and logged online. The first thing that I usually do is go to one of my fave celeb sites, Celebworld.org.

Lookie lookie at what I found:

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and

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You should've seen the look on my face when I saw those photos. 

"OMG. That's me, right there!"

There's more photos here.

Lindsay, we have a connection.

As always, you all know where to contact me. Email bryan@bryanboy.com and SMS +63-915-785-1492.

SEND ME THOSE "I LOVE BRYANBOY" SIGN PICS YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!

I love you all.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

March 30, 2006

Being Sick is NOT an Option.

Being Sick is NOT an Option.

Believe it or not, I'm still sick. I have the worst cough and colds EVER. My nose is sore and red from blowing all that snot. My unhealthy lifestyle is definitely taking its toll on my health: bing eating, lack of sleep, chain-smoking, booze, etc.

I was supposed to go to my doctor this afternoon for a quick check-up but I ended up pampering myself instead, after partying the other night at the Shu Uemura/Motorola event.

Isn't it hilarious how I have my priorities fucked up? For instance, my sister and I spent the entire afternoon together. Getting a facial (plus a back massage, a manicure and a pedicure at my local nail place, Tips and Toes) is more important than getting a chest/lung x-ray and going to the doc.

3 women working on your body while you're reading a magazine: bliss.

(Hat by Frankie Morello, sunglasses from Gucci, sneakers from Fendi, t-shirt from Dior Homme, shorts from Kenneth Cole, bag from Dior)

Why oh why am I doing this to myself? Is beauty worth sacrificing one's health?

Obviously the answer is "NO" but I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and say I'll stop shooting heroin and turn myself into a vegan.

Is being beautiful healthy... or is being healthy beautiful?

I know I said this many, many times: I wanna be 75 years old and wear Oscar de la Renta. However, I'd be lucky to even reach 30 at the rate things are going in my personal life.

Fuck it. I really need to adapt some sort of a healthy lifestyle. You know... I gotta quit smoking, sleep at least 8 hours A DAY, eat sensibly, exercise and cut back on my alcohol consumption. Easy to say than done eh?

Afterall, I can't afford to be sick. I have hot and horny boys all over the world I need to please sexually.

I love each and every one of you. Seriously. It takes a lot of balls to send "I Love Bryanboy" pics to planet earth's favourite third world fag.

Can I just say that the last time I saw/touched/felt someone's cock and balls was back on DECEMBER 27, 2005?

As always, you know where to send imagery of your love. Email bryan@bryanboy.com. NO photoshopped photos please.

I have to cut this entry short cause it's 5:12AM and I have a flight to catch in a couple of hours. I haven't even packed yet!!!!

I love you all. Email me or SMS +63-915-785-1492 and tell me you want to fuck my mangina.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

March 09, 2006

If Looks Could Kill..., Phone Fun with Bryanboy, Sweet Scent of Logo-Free Success

If Looks Could Kill...

DanielondizI can't even remember as to when exactly I last bitched about someone I really, really despise but here goes...

Before I do so, let me just say that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You know me... I just don't have any shame sometimes.

In spite of whatever bitching that you see here, keep in mind that I'm a REALLY nice and sweet person. Promise.

Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a heroin syringe (hell, morphine is good, too) in my eye... but since I'm immortal, it's pretty much impossible to erase me from the face of this planet.

Now... meet Mr. Daniel Ondiz. He's this mongrel who lives in the UK who troll every single post I make in some online internet forum. He's half Filipino, half something something. Whatever. All roads lead to perdition but for some strange reason, he ended up somewhere in bumfuck Scotland. I assume his reformed prostitute mother married some sad git.

Bitch had the nerve to call me ugly.

Now I generally don't have a problem with that. Hello, it's a known fact that I have a face only a biological mother can love but when that statement is coming from someone who looks like a complete turd and then saying he's gorgeous and I'm not, then that's where the problem starts.

That Daniel made me choke on my own vomit when I saw one of his recent pics.

It's not even funny.

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Shit, I am so glad he's gay. I have absolutely no words as to what his offspring would be like. I know any of my future offspring can give Saffie Monsoon a run for her money.

Looking at his photo will make ANYONE in this god damn planet feel BETTER about themselves.

Ooooooh I really despise him. He's such an asshole.

I even asked one of my best, best friends the first thing that came to his mind when I showed him his photo.

Life is beautiful my friend. Sadly, not this guy's.

I'm gorgeous, you're ugly INDEED.

Whew. Now that has been said, I'd like to thank you for allowing me the opportunity to vent. This is exactly why I love my blog. This little narcissistic shrine of mine is sooo therapeutic, it's better than seeing my shrink.

You see, I have the option to either:

a) keep all my derogatory thoughts about him to myself and be insane for the rest of my life or

b) cleanse my mind, body and soul by purging all my dirty sins in the form of a blog post no matter how defamatory it may be.

I'd rather choose the latter...

I have to be TRUE to myself you know. They don't call me the big brown bitch from hell for nothing.

Phone Fun with Bryanboy

Wait a sec.

Save your sanctimonious sermons. Before you castigate me and tell me I'm ugly too (so I don't have the right to criticize satan's spawn)

Well guess what? Even if Natasha Poly and Gemma Ward is one (very tiny) notch prettier than me, I do have the right.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think he's ugly. Hahahahaha!

REPEAT AFTER ME: IT'S NOT A SIN TO MAKE FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER. IT'S NOT A SIN TO MAKE FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.

We're all gonna burn in hell anyway so why should we deprive ourselves of some good ol' fun?

Ok. Next!

This is EXACTLY why I love posting my phone number online. It's little (priceless) moments like these that make life worth living.

Random stranger called my number earlier this morning and hung up. He did one of those "missed call" things and expected me to call him back.

I sent him a message telling him I don't call strangers who are not on my contact list.

A couple of hours later, random stranger calls again. Read the rest of the messages.

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I also sent him/her a followup message 30 minutes later that said "Well?????".

Message #36 is the last message I got. I think I scared him/her away.

Thanks for giving me a good laugh. That really made my night. I was sooo bored earlier and I needed something to make me smile.

Sweet Scent of Logo-Free Success

I had a blast Friday last week. Definitely one of the best nights I've ever had in this town... and I managed it without a single logo in sight. You know how I'm trying to avoid anything that's got a logo this year, whether it's LV, interlocking CCs, Dior, etc.

After several months of planning, a good friend and I finally had a dinner date. She brought me to a French restaurant called "Je Suis Gourmand".

Words cannot describe how wonderful the food was. The foie gras and white asparagus was TO DIE FOR. My steak was fabulous. Each course is rich and scrumptious... perfection! Heck, it's been 6 days already and I'm STILL bloated from all that food intake last Friday.

For your reference, a 3-course meal for 2 plus several glasses of white wine will set you back about US$85. It's MONEY well-spent. Trust me on this one.

Je Suis Gourmand is located at GF Net1 Center Bldg., Fort Bonifacio, beside Neo Spa and BPI. Phone number is +63.2.815.8801.

Apres-dinner, my friend Ianne and I went to this bar called "Luce" to celebrate an acquaintance's birthday party.

Top by Marc by Marc Jacobs, belt and tie by Topshop, pin by Versace, handbag by Marc Jacobs Collection, jeans by Cheap Monday.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Eindhoven, Noord-Brabant Holland, Riga, Latvia, Manchester, UK, Langley, BC Canada, Champigny-sur-Marne, France, Hung Hom, HK, Rome, Italy, Ostrava, Moravskoslezsky Kraj Czech Republic, Visaginas, Lithuania and of course, all the beautiful people of Rio De Janeiro, Brazil! I love each and every one of you... say hi, mother fuckers!

#2 - Courtesy of one of the gayest blogs evar, Towleroad.com, Karl Lagerfeld appears to have a gorgeous friend.

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I WANNA GET A CHIN AUGMENTATION PROCEDURE DONE. NOW!

#3 - An urgent cry for help. Can someone please watch/listen to this video and tell me the name of the track that's being played around the middle to the end of the clip? It's the track where all the gorgeous are mincing on the runway and where Zac is being interviewed. I think the song is either spanish or italian. I'm not sure.

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Click here to watch the video

All I know is that "na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na" thing got me obsessed. I downloaded a copy of that video on my video ipod and had the thing run on my speakers for HOURS!!!

Believe it or not, for the very first time in my life, I'm lusting over Zac Posen. Not his clothes, silly, but him and his slimy, dirty looks. I think he's kinda hot. For some strange reason, he's got this weird sex appeal, thanks to that video. I can totally envision him giving it to me hard up my bum. Curly hair and all.

#4 - I love it when people do the infamous Bryanboy handbag pose. Be creative! Be spontaneous! In fact, get the best muscle mary you can find, strip him naked, cover his crotch with an "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign and get him to smile for the camera.

Big shout to all my fabulous lovers (and posers) below...

Kudos to Diesel @ Poochnation.com.au. Diesel is soooo cute!!!!!!!! I'll definitely pay him a visit if ever I get my ass down to Melbourne, Australia.

As always, you know how to contact me. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

February 17, 2006

Welcome Back to Civilization. My Maid Deserves A Raise.

Welcome Back to Civilization.

Welcome to blogging. Welcome back to civilization. I'm so glad I'm kinda over my podcast addiction.

Don't worry though. I promise I'll do a podcast once a week... perhaps twice or thrice a week. Depends. ;)

My psychic, also known as Miss Cleo, who, btw, got charged with deceptive advertising, billing and collection practices by the US Federal Trade Commission back in 2002, was right all along; my prince charming didn't call me on Valentine's Day. No dinner date, no expensive champagne... and definitely no tiny red box with a big shiny gift from Cartier.

I should have known better.

It's been a quiet week at the House of Bryanboy.

My uncle had a heart attack on Saturday afternoon and my familia de horreur told me to stay at home as they take care of things at the hospital. I'm glad my uncle survived and he's waiting for surgery. I think he's gonna have either a bypass or angioplasty... I'm not sure. He's currently confined at the hospital and he's doing ok.

A friend launched a new collection from her line, Loungeri Lux last Saturday. I promised her I'll go to the party but my parentals told me that I should stay indoors in case we need to go to the hospital. I missed the first launch and now I missed it again. I'm almost 24 years old for god's sake!

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The oh-so-lovely Celine and her gold python Fendi Spy bag

I ended up not visiting him at the hospital so another weekend gone down the drain. Call me insensitive but it was my aunt's fauly in the first place why my uncle had a heart attack.

Enough drama of my clammy clan. I don't wanna talk about it. I wanna talk about beautiful things and beautiful people.

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Photo credit: The Fash Pack

I stole both photos from The Fash Pack's blog (sorry!!).

If you live in the land of the brown, l'exotique and the natives, pop by Mix at Greenbelt 3. JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU'RE ***NOT*** GONNA TOUCH THE LARGE SIZES! I'll GET THEM IN 3 COLORS. BLACK, WHITE AND PINK. These tees run a little small and a big, obese bitch like me need every square inch possible.

My Maid Deserves A Raise.

My oh so loyal servant, also known as Miss Eunice, deserves a raise. Who knew the bitch (that I truly love) had talent when it comes to photography?

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I love her. I really do. That bitch mastered the art of namedropping and fashion faster than the speed of light. All of these conversations were done in our local language, fyi.

---
Me: "Have you seen my white belt with the yellow and pink stripes?"
Eunice: "No, is it the one from Delia's?"
Me: "No... it's Chanel because it says Chanel all over it!"
----
Me: "Look at that woman's Chanel bag. Isn't it nice?"
Eunice: "The bag is a fake cause the quilts aren't aligned/the same"
(Peke po yung bag kasi iyung maliliit na squares hindi po pantay pantay)
Me: "Oh."
---
Eunice: "Bryan, did you drink some cooking oil again? Your lip gloss is all over the place"

(Kuya, uminom nanaman po ba kayo ng mantika? Lagpas lagpas po yung lip gloss niyo)

---
When I got up yesterday afternoon, the first thing that she told me was "I can't believe Paris Hilton is gonna be Mother Theresa in the movie. She looks like barbie doll. Isn't Mother Theresa an Indian?"

(Kuya, hindi ako makapaniwala kinuha nila si Paris Hilton para maging Mother Thera. Para siyang Barbie Doll. Eh diba si Mother Theresa boombay?)

---

WTF.

Anyway.

On Wednesday evening, I thought it would be nice to pay my uncle a visit. I was bored at that time so I asked Eunice to take photos of me; I haven't camwhored in a long time.

I'm telling you... I think I should start a career in becomin a cleaning lady.

If I can't get a guy being Le Superstar Fabuleux, maybe I can get a guy by being a hospital cleaning lady?

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Shit, if that bitch Jennifer Lopez can steal Dolce & Gabbana outfits from hotel guests or wear Harry Winston diamonds on a date to the Met, I'm sure I can do better.

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The person I'll flirt with at the hospital are the ones on the Intensive Care Unit... the ones who have a one-way ticket to the morgue... the ones who are about to face death as soon as I touch their genitals... Before I do that though, I wanna make sure their last will and testament is signed, leaving all their assets and wealth to me.

God, imagine how lucky those nurses are.

HOSPITALS MUST BE GOLD-DIGGER CENTRAL!!!! 

I'm sure somewhere in the world, there's a filthy wealthy hospital patient fed up of dealing with their heirs so they leave everything to the ones who wipe their shitty arses off the shitting pan.

Anyway, I think I LOOK SOOOOOOOOO DAMN GOOD WITH ALL THOSE CLEANING EQUIPMENT.

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Looking at a picture from my past, I think I was meant to work in the cleaning lady/healthcare industry. Here's a picture of me about 5 or 6 years ago at Amanpulo. That's table napkin on my head!

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EEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!

I have such a huge respect for nurses. Who else will take care of us even if we're sick, even if they're getting paid? I have to admit that nurses in this country are sooo underpaid, no wonder they're emigrating by the flock to other countries, just like migratory birds.

Anyway, I respect them soo much when I got hospitalized, I had to boo them away in order for me to take a poop. I don't care even if I was on Intensive Care. I don't want a nurse to be wiping my ass with baby wipes; I want to do it myself!

Bryanboy Loves.... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Doha, Qatar, Tianjin, China, Tampa, FL, Quinta Da Verdelha, Lisboa Portugal, Hanoi, Vietnam, Oslo, Norway, Kortemark, Belgium, Perth, WA Australia, London, ONT Canada, Mount Sibley, QLD Australia, Helsinki, Finland, Eschborn, Hessen Germany, Magnolia, TX and of course, all my friends from Cazevieille, Languedoc-Roussillon, France. I love you all. Say hi, don't be shy you fuckin maggots!

#2 - I love these guys from Belgium. Don't worry boys... when I go to Brussels one day, I wanna make sure we're gonna have a threesome. Both of you guys can take turns fucking both my mouth and my ass. I'm gonna milk your genitals until the cows come home. I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!!

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Belgium_002 

Belgium_003

#3 - More love from all over the world... Big shout out to Milwaukee, Wisconsin and Hong Kong! As always, you know where to send your love. NO PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURES PLEASE!!! Email bryan@bryanboy.com.

Jimmycrackcorn

Hklove 

#4 - I hope you liked Podcast #003. If you haven't listened to it yet, click here to download it. I named my Podcast "Greetings From The Third World". I'm open to ideas and suggestions!

Greetings

#5 - Be sure to pay my online forum a visit. It's free for god's sake. I'm gonna go there in a bit to post a couple of things.

http://www.bryanboy.com/forum

#6 - OH MY GOD. I GOT PUBLISHED AT OKLAHOMA DAILY!. OKLAHOMA. Oh. my. god.

Anyway, I have NO idea where it is in the USA but all I know is Amber Valetta was born there.

Apparently I'm this "Filipino Socialite" and I "make out with European models".

SOCIALITE?

ME?

Oh jesus.

European Models?

Me?

Making out with them?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

SHIT, I CAN'T GET A FILIPINO MODEL TO KISS ME ON THE LIPS LET ALONE MAKE OUT AND HAVE HORNY SEX WITH EUROPEAN MODELS.

Hilarious. I LOVE IT.

I like it that they featured me though. It's one step to world domination. It's nice to have readers from Oklahoma.

SOMEONE PLEASE SCAN THAT ARTICLE IF IT EVER GOT PRINTED AND EMAIL IT TO ME. I'LL GIVE FREE BLOWJOBS AND AN OREO COOKIE IF YOU DO. bryan@bryanboy.com.

Click here to read the article online.

I think that's all for now. I gotta be up early tomorrow.

Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

I love you all.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

January 12, 2006

Pictionary Galore: Guilty Pleasures and Errands

Pictionary Galore: Guilty Pleasures and Errands

I'll never forget what a friend said -- I should never, ever, ever, ever, feel guilty about my pleasures.

That's why I'll let you in on one of my deepest, darkest secrets.

Guiltypleasure_001

Screw the amazing confit de canard or seared escalope de foie gras I had from Josephine Chez Dumonet in Paris.

Assuming I got sentenced to death for a henious crime (rape, murder, etc.), this would be the last meal I'd ask my jail warden.

Chickenjoy

I ***LOVE*** Jollibee Chickenjoy. It's the best fried chicken in the world.

To hell with hypertension and blocked arteries. Not even cardiac arrest would stop me from eating the crispest chicken skin. Dip 'em in gravy before shoving it up your gob. It's pure oral orgasm right then and there.

If you don't live in the land of the brown, l'exotique and the natives and you are planning to go to this country, don't forget to pay Jollibee a visit. You'll thank me for it.

Bah.

It's 2:30PM here and I accomplished a lot of stuf today. I went to my friend's office to pick up my airline tickets.

Sagehouse

Sagehouse2

Sagehouse3

You gotta love those Cheap Monday jeans I got in Stockholm. They're the BEST skinny jeans ever. Thank god I bought 2 pairs of the same style. I should've bought 5 pairs... silly me. God knows when I'll go to Sweden again.

I also went to my office to pick up my mail. I haven't been to my office since I left. Silly me. Jakob from Sweden has been bugging me to go there cause he sent me a Christmas card. He sent me a card back when I was in Paris and to my dismay, it's still not there. I hate it. I'll ask him to send me a card again.

A card that says something like how he'll be the father of my first born child.

Hahahaha! Fuck it. I'm sooo disappointed with the third world postal system.

Filipino Postal System = EPITOME OF THE SLOW BOAT.

Bryansoffice

I'm starting to like this smile thing.

Moving on.... I got a surprise from all the lovely folks at Fudge Magazine. Thanks :) They sent me a copy with me on it. I'm a label whore alright. Loves it. :)

Fudgemagazine

These Cheap Monday jeans are REALLY a godsend. I swear by them. I don't know how you can get them without going to Sweden. Search it on google or something.

Godsend

Here's another smile smile photo. Enough already. I think it's getting quite obvious that I'm faking it.

Fakemsile

All I can say is.... GORGEOUS. FUCKING GORGEOUS.

Gorgeous_2

I also went to the Peninsula Hotel valet shop to pick up my dry cleaning.

Peninsuladrycleaning

And of course, no trip to the city would be complete without.... SHOPPING! I bought 2 shirts at Paul Smith and I also went to Shoemart (aka "SM"). If you want cheap bargains, go to SM. I love that place. I think the last time I went there was back in 2004 when I bought a samsonite thing. I bought a shitload of socks... and 3 pairs of shorts (brown, beige and olive) for no more than US$50!!!!!

Shoemart

Glorietta

Today's been productive. I love how I accomplished everything in no more than 4-5 hours.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Abbotsford, NSW Australia, Negros Occidentail, Philippines (woah!), Camberwell, VIC Australia, Cincinnati, OH, Austin, TX, Englewood Cliffs, NJ, Coventry, CT, Stoufville, ONT Canada, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Kearny, NJ, Columbia, SC, Orlando, FL, Lindfield, NSW Australia, Spartanburg, SC and of course, people from Bethesda, MD. Bryanboy loves you all. Identify yourselves bitches and lick my ass crack.

#2 - I feel sorry for those who judge a blog's success by the amount of comments that one gets. It's NOT the comments that make a blog successful. There are a few out there who want to spark a war between my blog and someone's elses blog. Screw it though. My time is valuable and my mere 2 brain cells can't handle anything more than what I currently have on my plate.

#3 - Send me some love! Send me some hate! Send me whatever it is that you can create! I love the latest batch of pics showing the infamous Bryanboy pose. These Americans sure know how to do it.

Pose_003

Pose_002

Pose_001

OOOOOOOOOOO Some 100% pure NYC love right from the middle of Times Square... I love you Colleen, I love you Kiersten!

Runnin' pretty, New York City girl, Twenty-five, thirty-five, Hello, baby, New York City girl

You grew up ridin' the subways, running with people... Up in Harlem, down on Broadway... You're no tramp, but you're no lady, talkin' that street talk, You're the heart and soul of New York City

And love, love is just a passing word... It's the thought that you had in a taxi cab that got left on the curb... When he dropped you off and he stated firm

Oh, oh, oh [Oh, oh, oh]... You're a native New Yorker... You should know the score by now [You should know by now]... You're a native New Yorker

Nyclove001

Nyclove

Even Shoelover loves me... Visit http://shoelover.typepad.com.

Shoelover

FINALLY.... some homegrown third world love! Melanie sent me this fabulous picture of her family doing a tribute to... ME! Look at all those luscious lips... I love the pout on each and every one of you. GORGEOUS! ADOPT ME PLEASE? I need a new family...

Melanieetfamille 

I think that's about it. For now. I'll update later in the evening.

I love you all, as always. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!

November 06, 2005

Vomit, Old Men, Keep the Love Coming

Vomit

Man, I have the WORST hangover ever.

I did a little "emergency" trip to my favourite club, Emba at around 1:30AM and got back before 6:30AM. Wore a black button-down shirt for the first time (in MONTHS!), striped Dolce & Gabbana trousers, Valentino belt, Frye boots and a wool Chanel bag.

I wish I took pictures but I left the damn camera in the car. Jenni E. looked ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS in her little orange number.

Believe it or not, I have remnants of vomit on my bedside table. The maid must have cleaned up my act while I was asleep.

I haven't puked in the longest time. 

I wish I knew how much I puked though.

I wish I puked all the junk food I had yesterday... but knowing my body, I probably vomitted gastric acid and excess saliva.

Old Men

I spent 4 whole hours munching on junk food whilst watching Nip/Tuck on DVD yesterday. These 2 guys never cease to amaze me. If only our plastic surgeons are THAT good-looking and rich (ok, they're not really good looking but they do have some sort of a sexual appeal), I'd be busy doing serious self-harm to get some car crash cosmetic surgery (and hopefully some fun fun sexual action) done.

Niptuck

Oh I am so bored out of my skull.

I just can't wait to hop on a plane.

Let the countdown begin.

In less than 2 weeks I'll be wearing my fall/winter regalia.

I **NEED** that mini winter wonderland holiday.

Screw everything at this point. I need a fucking vacation.

1 Month. 7 Countries.

I'll be home before Christmas. ..

and then Boracay on New Year's Eve.

I promised myself I'll fill my 3rd passport with stamps before the year ends so I'll have a new passport next year with a prettier photo. LOL

Next week is going to be busy; need to pick up my passport at an embassy cause they approved my visa... and then go to ANOTHER embassy the following morning for my appointment.

All these visa drama. Ugh.

Somebody just fucking give me a diplomatic or official passport already. Afterall, I'm doing a good job promoting the third world to the international community.

Hookers

Sucky sucky 5 dolla, me love you long time 10 dolla, you pay 20 dolla I gib free roast duck!

Think about it - why the hell should we bring tourism into our country when the country can export the Department of Sex Trade and Beauty Industry (aka me) instead ???

Suckysucky

International

Hookie

Keep the Love Coming

See, even people who go to couples therapy loves Bryanboy.

Couples

Big shout out to both of these boys doing the infamous Bryanboy pose. First one's from Greenwich, London, UK and the other one is from Singapore.

Bryanboypose

Pose2

Keep the love coming.

Love comes in the form of imagery so it's best to send your love via email - bryanboy@gmail.com.

Try to avoid "photoshopping" please.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Montpellier, France, Bedok Village, Singapore, Bangkok, Thailand, Reseda, CA, Jurong Town, Singapore, Souspierre, France, Helmond, Netherlands, Spearwood, WA and Box Hill & Ascot Vale VIC Australia and of course, people from Osaka, Japan! Bryanboy loves you all - identify yourselves bitches and say hello!

#2 - Take a look at Style.com's top Spring/Summer 2006 models. They all have funny looking eyebrows.

#3 - Why does papaya have a weird aftertaste?

#4 - Can someone please tell me where I can buy high-quality but cheap fur jackets & coats/exotic animal skins/etc in Beijing?

#5 - I NEED A SUGAR DADDY TO SPOIL ME GOOD... SPOIL ME REALLY ROTTEN. PLEASE BE YOUNGER THAN 35, THANK YOU. AND YES, IT IS POSSIBLE TO CONCEIVE A CHILD AT 12 YEARS OF AGE.

#6 - Happy Birthday Astrud Crisologo!

#7 - THAT Embassy better approve my visa application. I OWN STOCK (AKA MINORITY SHAREHOLDER - I'M POOR) in one of their country's BIGGEST companies.

#8 - Courtesy of MadeinBrazil.com - the New Gucci Boy (S/S 2006) is Michael Camiloto. Gorgeous son of a bitch eh?

Camilotonewgucciboy

Ugh. Enough male model fantasy.

Hannah Matronic, remember how I told you that we shouldn't be fantasizing about male models (well, Filipino male models) because they're poor, they're dull, they're poor, they have STDs, they're poor, they shoved their cocks up some dirty old fag's asshole, and best of all, they're gonna end up as prostitutes in the future?

#9 - Danish government provide prostitutes for the disabled - at the taxpayers' expense. Quick! Let's all move to Copenhagen PRONTO!

#10 - I'd love to see someone with a low-hanging scrotum wear those denim shorts. Click here to see more from "Butch".

S065 

As always, you know where to contact me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Baboosh!

October 31, 2005

Rest in Peace Daria, Life Went On, Show Me Some Lovin' Lovin'

Rest in Peace, Daria.

Daria_1Rest in peace, my baby. You've been here for a little over a month but Daria but you brought so much joy and happiness in my household. I terribly miss you. It was completely my FAULT. I tried to save your fragile life but I made a wrong decision in the process. I wish I have sent you to a different veterinarian instead of the one who said you have kidney and liver problems. I wish I didn't allow you to be confined at their clinic - they made the wrong decision to put you on dextrose,  causing you to bloat. I wish I could turn back the clocks and brought you to an acquaintance's referral. I just hate you being gone!

I terribly, terribly miss you babe. I tried to avoid conversations with people over the past few days because I thought I could pretend to put a straight face and play numb... but I just can't do it anymore.

I know it's too late for me to tell you this. AT FIRST, I thought I'd get you from the breeder simply because you were so beautiful, small and I wanted a "toy". I originally wanted a small dog for "novelty purposes" - a dog to pamper based on my selfish needs and not YOUR real needs, a dog to dress up and be seen with etc. My original intentions to get you were based on pure selfishness.

But I fell in love with you a few days after we met. You became my only best friend. I've put my own personal gain and selfishness aside because I know you deserved to be loved and cared for. You're not just for "now", you're a companion for life.

Words cannot express my sadness or how I truly feel. I am so sorry for irresponsibly taking your life away from you. I love you - you will always be remembered and I will never forget you.

(This message goes out to my readers: I know you guys are a nice bunch but I would appreciate it if you don't say/ask me anything in regards to Daria's death. I'd like to thank you, in advance, for YOUR condolences - I hope y'all understand. This is one of my personal flaws - I tend to play MUTE, DEAF and BLIND when it comes to personal problems. It's a nasty, permanent flaw, unfortunately...)

Life Went On

Don't I deserve an Academy award for putting up a fake face over the weekend in spite of Daria's death a few days ago?

Errr.. iIt wasn't a fake face actually; I *DID* have a lot of fun.

It felt like as if I had a huge lump in my throat and the only way to numb myself from feeling such lump is through copious amount of alcohol, make-up and clothes that a transvestite prostitute would be proud of.

I think I'll stick to my 2-year old breedless, classless, "domestic short-haired" cat, Pinkie. I don't want to waste any more lives at my EXPENSE.

I have a heart too, you know... 138/90 and 92 beats per minute.

Errands

I got up at 5:30AM earlier this morning and left the house at around 7:00AM to do some errands.

I quickly dropped by at my gal pal's place and had some early morning gossip. Went to Starbucks afterwards, had a latte and drove back to my aesthetician's clinic only to find out that they're closed because of the All Saint's/Souls Day holiday season.

Show Me Some Lovin' Lovin'

Here are a couple of fan pics for you to point your fingers at and laugh. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU! Bryanboy loves you all and like what I said before, if only I can give you sexual favors, I would.

Meet Thom from the UK. Here I am thinking an extra "H" on one's name is a very Filipino trait but little had I known it also exists halfway across the world.

Thom darling, I give you A+ for effHort.

Thom

You gotta love those kids in Singapore doing the Bryanboy pose. My god, the Philippine Embassy in Singapore should have a fucking BRASS MONUMENT of ME with my pose.

Worship me! All of you! I want y'all to put your left hand on your waist and your right arm in the air!

Lukeandaaron_1 

Asssss6

Last but not the least, Bryanboy loves people from Malaysia, especially Malaysian schoolkids.

Malaysia, Truly Asia!

Malaysia

Malaysia1

Malaysia2

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

Hasselhoffianrecursion_1 #1 - Bryanboy loves people from Seaside, CA, Bombay, India, Paris, France, Queenstown Estate, Singapore, Valencia, CA, Maylands, WA, Australia, San Francisco, CA, Markham, ONT, Canada, Newmarket, QLD and of course, people from Copenhagen, Denmark. Bryanboy loves you all! Identify yourselves, bitches and say HI!.

#2 - Whenever I go out in public, I always take a quick trip to the toilets every once in a while to smell my armpits.

Being the complete sweaty betty that I am (trust me, in this weather, even a trivial thing such as BREATHING NORMALLY can make me sweat), I know I'm NOT the record-breaking, best-smelling person in the world so I do make the effort to lift my arms up, shove my nose to my pits and figure out whether or not my armpits stink -- IN PRIVATE.

(BTW: Thank god my pits don't usually get wet. It's my PALMS and forehead that's my problem.)

Anyway, rumor has it that there's this one person locally who doesn't seem to care (or at least make an effort) about his/her armpits. It's not the first time I heard such gossip about ____. It's quite sad that people talk about this person about that BO problem but NOBODY has the balls to confront that person - I know I CAN'T... cause I have a vagina.

But then again, who am I to judge when I haven't really smelled that person?

If you think I have body odour or bad breath (guilty as charged, especially when I go out - I love oysters and booze - perfect recipe for halitosis!), please send an anonymous (or NOT SO) anonymous tip via www.sendatip.com. I invite you to send a tip to THAT person, i HOPE he knows who he is, so they'll know what's going on without revealing yourself.

I still can't do it AND I won't do it either... though I guess it would look as if it came from me because I posted that website URL on my blog. LOL.

Patsy Stone once said "one whiff of a cocoa bean and our customers would fly like vampires before garlic."

I don't want to be that coca bean. I'm sure NOBODY does.

But this person that I'm talking about is worse than cocoa bean AND garlic, COMBINBED!

Oh I don't know what to think anymore.

I love you all! As always, you know how to get hold of me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63-915-7851492.

Baboosh!

October 11, 2005

Star struck? Take a Glimpse at My Future.

Star struck?

Don't be.

I guess there are people who end up being star-strucked one way or another when they see me. Some people have told me this and some even apologise profusely. It's flattering in a way but in all seriousness, why?

Starstruck15

I'm just someone is young... and loves to be young. I'm free... and I love to be free. To live my life the way that I want, to say and do whatever I please.

Seriously though. I'm no celeb. I have no talent whatsoever.

Snap snap reality check.

Can I just have an Anna Scott moment?

Take a glimpse on my future.

One day, people will get bored of my same old same old incessant ramblings. History repeats itself. Everything new becomes everything old and everything old becomes everything new - over and over and over again.

I, too, will be bankrupt with no cent left on my name except hundreds of dirty designer handbags and soiled underwear.

Bankrupt

My fabulous looks (coffee anyone?) will fade, my skin will fuckin sag and get infested with liver spots, warts, wrinkles, stretch marks and acne scars. No amount of botox, plastic surgery and liposuction can stop me from looking just like a male Jackie Stallone (yes, that's Sylvester's mum my friends) in the future.

Jackiestallone

My last breath would smell that of absinthe, piss and xanax.

My future nephews and nieces will probably disown me for bringing embarassment to our clan.

I'll most likely die OLD and ALONE... on the street and not in a retirement home.

Retirementhome

Let's face it - the future is not bright and it will never be orange.

Chanelbangkok

So yeah.

Just get over this whole fame drama. Please don't be shy and just say hi to me when you see me.

This post is sponsored by:
Free Trial Generic Yellow 468x60

Around the same time last year, the only people I knew are those who work in the HEALTHCARE industry - my aesthetician, my waxer, my pedicure person, my masseuse, my hair stylist, etc. In fact, only 2 people visited me in the hospital (how PATHETIC is that?) when I got confined back in April.

I've been going out for far too long and trust me, being recognized and acknowledged is still a new thing for me.

Himaize

Try having several years of no one saying hi to you and I'm sure you'll know what I mean.

A "hi" is still a "hi", regardless of intentions. I'm a shallow person, champion of cluelessness and of course, social outcast extraordinaire. Someone saying "hi" to me in person is enough to brighten up my day.

Baboosh!

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