I Beat ANOREXIA!
Y'all better buy me that "I Beat Anorexia!" t-shirt after the binge I had at McDonald's earlier this morning.
2 double cheeseburgers, 2 large cokes, 2 large fries and 2 x 6pc chicken nuggets in a span of 2 hours. I'm gonna be soo screwed for life but what the heck, we only get to live once and when it's over, it's over. Why deprive ourselves? There's always liposuction and collonic irrigation.
Weekend Bender
OMG. I think I'm destined to be a matron.
I finally had the chance to wear my nice, new (well it's vintage so whatever) sweater that I got from "I Love You Store". It's sooo cute. I really really really love it. I was looking at some of my weekend photos and thought "damn, I look like someone familiar."
Caption It
Look what I found on the internet, courtesy of www.willysaw.com. It's me on halloween last year! Man, those were the crazeeeeey times. I think I really look good as a prostitute. Yes?
Party Season Finally Over...
... or has it only just begun?
I'm terribly, terribly exhausted. It's 10PM and I just got up an hour or two ago feeling like a zombie. There's no doubt that alcohol and tranquilizers are still running through my bloodstream and I urgently need to detoxify myself as soon as possible. I have a shitload of cigarette burns on my fingers and arms in addition to all the blisters on my toes from wearing 5-inch Lanvin cone heels last night at the Preview Best Dressed Ball. Why oh why am I doing this to myself all for the sake of partying?
This week has been the craziest week ever... too many parties, too many events, so little time to recuperate.
I'll start with Friday night. I went to Mega Magazine's 10 Most Beautiful Women event and the party, sponsored by Mercedes Benz and Moet & Chandon, was a smashing success. Champagne and cognac overflowed and so did Manila's finest. It was my first time to go to a "Mega" event and it was held at my favourite museum in Manila, the Ayala Museum.
Jacket by Zara, white shirt by Kenneth Cole, pearl belt used as a necklace by Chanel, necktie by Dior Homme, brooch I got at a department store for like US$15, fabulous snakeskin bag from Tesoro's, gray jeans from Neil Barrett, shoes by Dior Homme.
A lot of people complimented me because of my "new look". Oh I don't know. Maybe I should wear jackets and shirts often? I think I may have to say goodbye to tanks and tees when I go out at night, considering I'm not really a jacket-and-shirt person. Nevertheless, it's about time, don't you think?
I went to the Museum on my own as some of my friends were late and the first person who greeted me was Filipina supermodel-cum-photographer Joan. I love this girl. She's always painfully chic every time I see her.
Mega Magazine's Editor-in-Chief Carla Sibal initiating the ceremony. This woman is something else. She's AMAZING! I love her! Everywhere I go, everyone always whisper how beautiful and chic she is... oh and how fabulous her hair is ALL THE FUCKING TIME! She's one fierce woman you'll never caught dead with bad hair. I love her. She's really really nice and she's always got this glow on her face the few times I've seen her.
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Who doesn't want fabulous, healthy, flawless skin? 
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I have absolutely no idea who this gorgeous girl is but man, she's sooo fucking tall and I look like a midget. I think she's like 6-foot-4 or something... and she wore like flats! She sorta reminds me of Karolina Kurkova. No?
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Who doesn't want fabulous, healthy, flawless skin?
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Hannah and me...
Philippine Tatler's Fashion Editor Karla A, designer/artist Mitch Dulce, who I haven't seen in ages and moi.
Handbags at 10 paces galore! Do the infamous Bryanboy pose bag hags!
Tina and Tessa, fab girls of L'Oreal and Shu Uemura, who recently sponsored my survey...
More pictures of people....
Après-Mega, we went to our usual haunt, Cusine at La Embajada for more boozeing and cruising. Even saw designer Ino Caluza, créateur of the best custom-made jeans (Viktor Jeans) in the Philippines. I even went to his shop yesterday, bought 2 pairs of jeans and 2 custom-made jackets. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!
Please touch my fat fanny... the last time someone grabbed my bum was EXACTLY 6 months ago.
I should come with a warning label. I'm pretty much like a bomb that can explode anytime, without notice, no wonder people stay away from me so it's best to stay away from me.
Work it like you own it. Fake it till you make it. I have one thing to say. Sashay, shante, shante, shante!
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Why is my head chopped off on this photo?
If you're a fan of Filipino, third world showbiz, these faces are prolly familiar to you.
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Ooh lala. I must have a photo with this guy, too. Whatever, right?
... he's that guy in that Big Brother show... and of course... the photo below... Oh. My. God. Mama Mia here we go again...
Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shot
Enough party pictures for now. More updates to follow... stay tuned for Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax.
As always, I love each and every one of you. Email [email protected] or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
A Memorable Night
7:11Am and I just got home about an hour ago. I've been indulging on asparagus soup, ham sandwich and spring rolls.. at this time of the day! Gotta love Eunice and the cook. Hah!
Man, what a night I had.
My damn camera's fucked up... I totally forgot to charge my batteries hence the lack of photos. Nevertheless, a shitload of people asked to take photos of me (I love each and every one of you, my dear readers) so I hope they'd email me a copy soon. *hint hint*. HELLO BITCHES! hahahaha
I'm glad I went out tonight. Seriously. I won't get into any specifics but tonight's been very bittersweet. I was genuinely happy I've patched things up with people from my not-so-long past... It's refreshing to see how a lot of people have changed. Some people were the same, some were completely different. Nevertheless, the most important thing is that I (hopefully) clarified things with people I previously had disagreements and misunderstandings with... yaddi yaddi yadda.
The sad part is, I think I might have lost someone really close to me. Someone I really love to bits. It's completely my fault though. It's not the first time that I've been told that I give people a bad reputation simply because they're associating themselves with me. Isn't it sad? However, that's not really the core problem/case.
I've been told, not once, not twice, but probably a couple of times that I turn into this completely different person whenever I'm in a "group" of people. I tend to embarass the people "I'm with" (again, in a group), especially when I'm drunk, and apparently, I deliberately go on a "mission to lose the few people who have given me the chance" (i.e. the very few people who decide to hang out with me).
Let's face it. In this shithole of the third world, nobody really wants to hang out with me. I have the worst reputation ever. Half of the people who make the effort to talk to me would rather hang out with me in private where nobody can see us and half of the people who do hang out with me are genuine, nice-hearted people but I somehow, one way or another, tend to UNCONCIOUSLY trash them.
Someone really close to me sent me a message earlier on how he/she got "a lot of flak by associating him/herself with me". In all honesty, I wasn't surprised by a single bit. I've heard this sooo many times and it wasn't anything new. I did, however, expressed my apologies though. He/she was a good friend and I admire him/her for sticking up for me. Let's face it, it's extremely rare for someone to put up with all the bullshit that I have in my life. It takes balls... and attitude... for someone to actually sacrifice their reputations just to be my "friend".
It's sad really, but it's the truth.
For instance, I tried to talk to someone whom I had a major fight about 6 months ago. I said hi last night and guess what she told me: "FUCK YOU. GO TO YOUR FRIENDS!" and she left me hanging there whilst she walked away.
Another example was sometime last year when I went to Hong Kong to meet up a guy I chatted to for quite a little while. Ok, perhaps not a long time but still. He showed me around one night to a couple of bars, clubs and introduced me to some of his friends. I had a blast at the end of the night and genuinely thanked him for his hospitality. I've never had so much fun in his area before.
I thought everything was fine until fast forward a few months later, on an internet forum, here's what he said about me.
"I may not know him but I have met him and, unfortunately for them, introduced him to a few of my friends. One he slapped, the other he insulted verbally within 5 seconds of meeting them. Damage limitation by moving him to another bar did not help as it entailed walking a block up a hill. Once in there he proceeded by nearly getting me barred from a place I'd used for two years and got on well with the manager by insisting he flicked ash in the bars ice sink."
Ouch, right? And to think, I wasn't AWARE that's what happened. I thought I REALLY had a blast yet.. that was his version of the story.
The funny part is, this backstabbing wench even had the balls to email me a couple of months later asking me to promote his little art/gallery website since he's moved from HK to another country. Absolutely hilarious.
Anyhooooooo.. am I the most insensitive, carefree person in the world?
I don't know.
I *DO* make the effort to put on my best. I am, by no means, perfect, but I try to be as decent as I possibly can. I don't want to be one of those people who are absolutely "contrived" and watch every single move they make and/or say. It's just NOT ME!
Anywhow, I guess it would be fair to come into the conclusion that maybe... just maybe... I'm really destined to be a loner. I've always been one since I was a child and I wouldn't be surprised if it happens to me whilst I'm an adult.
Let's face it: for the past few years, I've "hopped" from one "crowd" to another.... a separate groupd of "friends" here, a new "group" of friends there. A shitload of people, I'm telling you.... but... I'm not the type who's got a "REAL" best friend from "day 1". I don't even have childhood friends at all. It's a sad fact, really, but in reality, I *DO NOT HAVE* a "best friend" that I could call, talk, or whatever about my day-to-day problems. I always tell people who I come across with... "shit man, you're so lucky to have the friends that you have now. I don't!".
I guess that's how life is. Some people are blessed of having fantastic, flawless relationships (and friendships) with people, whereas some, like me, are cursed, without NONE.
How many of you have a "REAL" "REAL" best friend? I bet most of you have one whereas I, on the other hand, have NONE.
Whatever. The most I could do at this point is make the effort to change myself for the better. One can only change themselves to a certain extent.
Bah! I'm gonna finish my soup and go to bed. To those of you in the third world who went to the Preview Magazine party and took FUGLY pictures of me, please, I'm begging you to email pictures of myself at [email protected].
Shit, I wore a Galliano jacket, Viktor jeans (oh yeah, metallic), my 5-inch Lanvin shoes, Bernard Wilhelm top yaddi yaddi yadda.
As always, you know how to get a hold of me. Email [email protected] or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
I love you all.
Happy Camper
I got home quite early this morning (4:30AM!!!) after a night of parties, parties and parties. I had to go to a couple of events last night and was originally planning to do what those Upper East socialites do during fashion week in New York -- change outfits in the car before hopping from one party to the next. I ended up with only 2 outfits. I couldn't be bothered to change at the end of the night because I got drunk soo early. Hahaha!
The photo below pretty much sums up how I felt. I showed last night's photos to a friend in Australia and he told me this is the best photo of me that he's seen in a long time. I look "genuinely" happy.
Quite surprising, actually.
... and boy do I fuckin look good. Yes? I hope you'll agree with me.
Nah. I need a nose job. And my skin look horrid... and my eyebrows are kinda manky and mingin.
Before I continue, please read the notice below.
My date last night was my nonsexual wife (who is on the verge of being famous after being mentioned on some newspaper gossip column by the daughter of the (RIP) queen of Filipino showbiz intrigues called "DOLLY ANN"). I'm not really into local showbiz so I could care less. Anyway, Hannah you asshole, ride the fame darling! I'll tell you what someone told me in the past: ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS! IT'S YOUR MOMENT!
Our first stop was the decadent Absolut Vodka party. Absolut sent the invite to my office but I haven't been there in quite a while. It's only until this afternoon that I sent my driver to get all of my mail at the office. Everyone was dressed up to the nines... it was a masquerade event for god's sake and I have never felt sooo underdressed in my entire life... when often times, it's me who is usually OVERDRESSED!
Hannah Matronic you bitch, who the fucking hell is THAT guy???? He's soooo cute and big!!!! You, moi and him should have a threesome! I want his cock up my fat ass! OOOOOH Daddy! Shit Hannah, when we become famous, we should get him as our bodyguard. We need a strong man like him to protect us from all the evils of Cosmo Manille.
Oh my god!!!!!! I felt like a 15 year old again with raging hormones!!!! Come on daddy touch my fanny!
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Why take one photo when you can take 2? God he's soooo hot.
Enough cute guys... the time will come when I get a man for myself. The time will come when I get my own gorgeous, tall, well-hung (at least 8 inches excuse me), wealthy man who will treat me like a princess and buy me Goyard bags left and right.
Anyway, let's play pictionary, shall we? Hannah and I were the youngest people at Absolut last night. The mathunders were in full force, fabulous outfits and all. It's nice to see acquantainces. Even my long lost friend of many, many years, Ariel, was there. Ditto with the Fashion Designer Lesley Mobo, who is currently the creative director of Al Fayed's daughter's line, Jasmine de Milo.
Remember my wife's dress on my 17th birthday party this year? It was designed by Lesley Mobo for Jasmine de Milo.
It's Donatella and child once again. Hahahaha!
I will never forget that night when Lesley, Ariel, me, another designer Jojie Lloren and Filipina supermodel Joan Bitagcol went to two of London's infamous gay cruising/cottaging grounds other than Hampstead Heath hahahahahha (Russell Square and Bloomsbury Square Gardens)! Note:
HAHAHAHHAHA I AM NOT INTO GAY SEX CRUISING! PROMISE! OMG. YOU GUYS MUST THINK I'M A DIRTY GAY SEX PERVERT! Those cruising grounds are hilarious to go to and it's fun to make fun of all these men having sex behind the bushes. It was soooo surreal! It was like AIDS factory right then and there!
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Joan, who is a woman (duh), had to don a ponytail so she won't scare all the guys having sex behind the bushes. It was absolutely hilarious! We went there many, many, many years ago, back when I was a child. No, none of us had sex. All we did was walk around the area and make fun of all the guys catching STDs etc.
Now now party party pictures... just what you've all been waiting for.
Thanks to the gorgeous Karla A, Fashion Editor of Philippine Tatler, my face looks squished on the photo. I LOOOOOVE Karla. Micro mini shorts showing off her fabulous legs is her daily uniform. I love you Karla!
(Jacket by Gucci, button down shirt by Dolce & Gabbana, super old bamboo-print trousers from D&G, bag from Chanel)
Reason #451 that Bryanboy should lose weight, facial liposuction get a chin implant: I have a double chin when I hug people.
Love how Astrud did my infamous Bryanboy pose...
Hannah and I went to Old Swiss Inn for a quick snack after the event at Absolut.
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Quick snack my ass. We had a FULL meal!!! I had some steak and a prawn/mango cocktail whereas Hannah had all these salami and risotto etc. No wonder we're getting fat.
Guess who came for late night dinner? It's Rocky Salumbides, one of the Philippines' top male models.
Remember Rocky? I met him last year when a former friend and I went to Hong Kong for an impromptu shopping trip. Rocky made me cry after telling me stories from his humble beginnings, considering not even starving children all over the world can make me feel remotely guilty after a credit card busting spree at Chanel... this guy is something else though. We spent god knows how many hours talking while I packed my Globe-Trotter suitcase with luxury goods... I literally had tears falling down my face when he told me his life story.
It was definitely nice to see him. He sent me a text message one time inviting me to go clubbing but I was dead sick at home. Rocky is a realllly nice guy. He's sooo down to earth and friendly, unlike some of those arrogant mixed raced mongrel models that infest this city. He's like a big brother to me even if we don't get to talk or see each other often.
After Old Swiss Inn, Hannah and I went to Embassy to meet up with Stacy. I guess people were still partying at Absolut. Cuisine and La Embajada was surprisingly empty. That place is jampacked on a Wednesday. And for the first time, I was DRY the entire night. I didn't even drop a sweat. At the end of the night, I was rubbing shoulders with Hannah asking her "bitch am i dry or what?". It was unbelievable. And to think, I even danced for a bit. I hope sweaty betty's gone away. Sweat is absolutely disgusting.
Stacy looking fierce and Hannah looking good.
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Third world prostitutes at your disposable. We do foursomes for £250,000 per hour. I'm kidding!
Too expensive? Alright... a bottle of cheap champagne and a kiss on my cheek will do.
(T-shirt by Top Shop, oversized leather and lace white bag by Dolce & Gabbana, old "Italy Postcard" print trousers from Dolce & Gabbana, shoes from Zara and striped cardigan by La Rok)
Why the sad faces?
Soooo drunk. Ugh!
Overall it was a good night. The Absolut party was a blast! I love, love, love it!
Believe it or not I got home at around 4:30 but didn't go to bed until 7AM!
I'll update in a couple of hours. I gotta reply to a shitload of email.
As always, you know how to get a hold of me. Email [email protected] AND [email protected]. SMS +63.915.785.1492
Last call for survey responses. Deadline is on June 22, 2006! I've received 1,974 responses so far. Keep it coming! I'll announce the winners on Friday, June 23!
Laguna Beached Whale
I'm officially the least productive person in the world. I just spent the entire day pigging indoors and watching Season 1 & 2 of Laguna Beach. I'm feeling sick after a booze-fuelled night. I guess my system can no longer tolerate copious amounts of booze. I'm getting old!!!!
Channeling Taiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii from Clueless....
Anyway, Laguna Beach has got to be the trashiest show I have ever seen in my entire life yet I'm hooked like a street tramp addicted to smack. I have no idea why it's sooo entertaining to watch a bunch of fat American kids in Chanel sunglasses roam around town and drink juice out of cheap plastic cups. All the boys are zit-faced and shit ugly whereas most of the girls have awful tans, hideous blond hair extensions... and worse, they're all obese! I bet you I'd fit well right in if I go there!
There are 9 DVDs and I just finished watching 6. God I'm sooo pathetic... and jealous of all that American wealth that is being flashed right in front of your face, California mansions and trips to (gag) Cabo, Mexico and all.
I just find it completely odd how a majority of European youth go to far flung, transcontinental places to spend their gap years whereas young Americans choose to go to bumfuck Mexico for a week or two to get drunk and catch STDs from (presumably) fellow Americans. I wanna go to Mexicooooooo and have an American Hollister-wearing teenage jock give me crabs!!!! Hahahahaha!
Those yanks, I'm telling you, are a whole new breed of people and I fucking love it.
World... Hold On!
It's a little after 3AM and I'm back home, where high speed internet is a necessity, rather than a luxury. I just got back from a night's worth of debauchery and "clubbing". I lost so much weight from dancing it's unbelievable.
The good news is... my parentals aren't going through a divorce or an annulment. The bad news is, half of the people I "know" now are leaving in less than a month and I'll be alone in this shithole. Yes, that includes my "nonsexual wife" Hannah Matronic. It's amazing how I'm currently "hanging out" witha crowd that's much younger than me... friends of friends whom I got to know recently and they're all leaving soon because they're studying in the USofA.
I'm knackered to the bone and my breathe stinks of cheap champagne. I've got tipsy toes so I'm off to bed. I'll do a proper update first thing tomorrow afternoon when I get up.
I've got lots of stories to tell. I've been out since 2 o'clock in the afternoon...
For instance, I ended the night by going to the bar to pick up my hat. I left it there because I spent an hour burning calories (by dancing). Ya should've seen how many gallons of sweat I released tonight. I must have lost at least a couple of kilos.
Anyway. I saw someone whom I used to see quite often. In fact, I used to hang out with him at least once or twice a week. We used to talk on the phone about all sorts of stuff though the last time I spoke to him was about 2 or 3 months ago.
I was chatting to a friend whilst walking to the bar and I saw him send a text message on his phone. I chatted to my friend to pretend I didn't see him... and he did the same, though I KNEW he saw me too.
I asked the bartender for my hat, quickly left the bar with my friend, and called my driver. The guy whom I used to see/talked to at least several times a week was nowhere to be found.
I sighed with relief when my driver picked me up because the last thing I want to ahppen is play pretend and come up to him to say "hi". It would've been so sooo awkward to greet someone whom you used to talk to several times a week and then it all goes to a full stop for 2 or something months then you see him/her again.
Enough drama for now. i'm off to bed. 
I'm the luckiest guy in the world, am I? Funny how people always want what they can't have. hey Mr. DJ CHAKA where are you? Funny how you didn't show up on a Wednesday. It's a good thing you didn't show up otherwise I won't be able to grab my wife's ass! Hahahaha!
Anyway, I'm gonna hit the sack. I'll do a proper post first thing tomorrow afternoon when I get up. Janthina you whore, email me pics... [email protected].
In closure...
and take note how I replied...
I love you all! Email [email protected] or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
Time to get some shuteye.
I Wear My Sunglasses At Night
*sings*
Even though the guys are crazy, even though the stars are blind, if you show me real love baby, I'll show you miiiiiiine. I can make it nice and naughty, meet the devil and angel too, gotta heart, soul and body, let's see what this love can doooooo... maybe I'm perfect for youuuuuuu!
(Shirt by Kenneth Cole, sunglasses by Dior, jeans by Acne Jeans (Sweden), bracelets from Christian Dior and Hermès, belt from Hermès, shoes from Chanel, bag from Mulberry)
It's been 2 days and I still have that stupid song on autorepeat. Ugh!
I went out yesterday night... the first time I went out on a Wednesday in the lonnnngesssst time.
Continue reading "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night (and Today's Youth)" »
Excessively Preppy. Office Worker Chic
Boy oh boy, what an unbelievable weekend I had. It rained cats and dogs on Saturday night and it was pouring parties left and right. The awful H2O that fell from the sky didn't stop my preppy-wannabe ass from hopping from one party to another.
I left the house at 7PM and it wasn't even raining. As soon as I crossed the territorial borders of the big city with the bright lights, it started to pour. A friend called and even suggested that I should unleash the fur and the Jacket-a-wheelers cause it was pissing down with rain. Thank god I brought a Dior Homme dinner jacket with me.
Super super drunk but I still look fierce. And fugly. Look at the face. Hahaha!
Too bad she called in late. I friggin wore a white top and beige trousers. Eeek! My dry cleaners will have a ball as soon as I send in my shit. LOL.
Hat by Chanel, top from Neil Barrett, fish necklace from Chanel, pearl belt (worn as necklace) by Chanel, faux pearls necklace from a flea market, B bag from Fendi, bracelet by Hermès, trousers by Prada, shoes from Louis Vuitton.
Continue reading "Excessively Preppy. Office Worker Chic. I mean Shit." »
Mary-Kate, Ashley and Bryanboy Olsen
I'm sure everyone in this planet had committed some sort of a fashion faux pas at one point in their lives. While some do it more frequently than others, I, on the other hand, represent everything that is wrong in fashion. I seriously never cease to amaze myself on how I come up with the most ridiculous outfits/combinations ever.
Most people say it's not about the clothes... it's about attitude and how you "pull things off". Maybe it's true. I didn't know what I was thinking on Friday night when I went out... all I can say though is "FUCK YOU" cause money speaks and my little hideous ensemble is probably (just probably) more expensive than yours. Hahaha! God I'm such an asshole.
Anyway, enough ranting and let's get down to business cause I know you're all anxious to read what I'm up to.
Me and the birthday boy, Dustin who looks sooo cute.
T-shirt by Dior Homme, oversized tank top by Ann Demeulemeester (underneath the tee), bracelets from Hermès, tights from www.welovecolors.com, bag from Chanel (Luxury by Chanel line), shoes by Mauri
This is the look I want to achieve but the damn weather here is SOOOO nasty (hot and humid) so I skipped the jacket and wore a t-shirt and an oversized tank underneath instead... oh and one of our maids couldn't find my black thights so I settled for blue. My maid Eunice isn't back from her month-long vacation.
I went to Absinth (I LOOOVE this bar) on Friday with a buddy to meet my friend Hannah and her friends. Little I had known it was the birthday party of this Dustin guy, who I only met once last week. I (unknowingly) gatecrashed his birthday party and I felt REALLY bad cause I'm not the gatecrashing type and I didn't pay a single dime because the gracious hosts, Dustin and Christine, fed me with all the booze I can take.
The booze overflowed so who am I to complain? Even reformed alcoholics, people with cancer or fucked up livers won't say no to free drinks.
That Dustin guy is a hoot! I LOOOOOOOVE him. He told me that one can actually lose weight by eating UNSALTED and UNBUTTERED popcorn the entire day.
Après-Absinth, we went to Cuisine (at La Embajada) for more drinks and fun. I got so tipsy to the point where I broke my Dior Glossy sunglasses (my fat ass sat on it... proof that I REALLY need to lose weight).
I swear to god it's not a skirt. It's an oversized tank top UNDERNEATH the t-shirt to cover my cock and my balls!
These are the Mauri of Italy shoes I used last night. I got these from Harrods back when I was 16 or 17 and I haven't used them in YEARS. It's amazing what kind of shit I find in my closet after all these years.
The girl on the right is Monica. I suffocated with envy when I saw her stark white Chanel 2.55 bag. What is it with people snapping up those white 2.55 bags anyway? She's like the umpteenth person that I've seen with a white 2.55 bag.
I want one of those!!!! I really want one but I'm scared I'd fuck it all up with dirt in no time. Those white bags require extra TLC. Case in point: I completely fucked up my oversized US$2,300+ Dolce & Gabbana white lace and leather bag with pink lip gloss stains... and to think, I only used it about thrice. No more white bags for me.
I think the only way to keep a white bag in its original, pristine condition is NOT TO USE IT AT ALL.
God I look so red and drunk on this photo. And fat, too. Gotta love those Hermès enamel bracelets. For some strange reason, I haven't seen too many people wear them. Hannah's got the palladium-plated black one and I got the gold-plated white and the blue one. Everyone in this planet should have em. Those bracelets are wayyyy better than those nasty nasty kabbalah string. Those bracelets aren't even that expensivo at $480 a pop and I've been monitoring Hermes.com almost on a monthly basis to see if they have new colors in stock. Someone just fucking bring Hermès to the third world for god's sake.
Look at the look on my nonsexual wife Hannah's face. Only HANNAH FUCKIN MATRONIC has the balls to chase local third world actors and go nuts in front of them.
Hannah, we gotta lose 20 fucking pounds your arms look as if they're as big as his! What is wrong with us????? We're all getting fat and we're ageing disgracefully! WE NEED LIPOSUCTION, COCAINE AND CRYSTAL METH to get our 95-pound figures back!
Cuisine was fun! I'm so glad I went out the other night. I had sooo much fun it was overwhelming. I met a lot of very, very nice people (in spite of my scary Peter Pan outfit and alcohol-induced state). I was telling one of my friends, it's great to have genuine fun with no pretentions or stress whatsoever.
OK, I lied.
The only stress that I had is the fact that I literally had NOTHING to wear the other night. I **NEED** to do some serious shopping once again. It's funny how I bought so many clothes recently I haven't even used them yet... I just need to find the right opportunity to do so.
SUPER Summer Soles
Lookie lookie at what I got in the mail yesterday. My friends at Summer Soles sent me a shitload of their fabulous stay-dry liners. I love how I get sent some goodies in the mail. Celebrities love swag... and since I'm a celebrity (hahahaha delusional cunt, that's me), I love swag too!
Don't you just dread the feeling of sweaty feet? Let's face it, not everyone in this planet got dry feet. I know at least a handful of boys and girls out there (like me) who got sweaty feet. There's this girl who I know and she hated wearing thongs because her feet get so sweaty she constantly had to wipe her feet using tissue paper in between bathroom breaks so her toes won't look icky.
Summer Soles are discreet peel and stick fabric liners designed specifically for stay-dry comfort in sandals, flip flops and almost all closed shoe fashions – are sure to become a style staple for those who don’t want to smack, slip or squish their way through the season.
These one-of-a-kind removable peel-and-stick fabric strips provide edge-to-edge shoe coverage, are completely removable with no sticky residue, and, for women come in a variety of color and fabric options (“Suede Softness” and “Ultra-Absorbent”) or, for men, “Ultra-Absorbent” fabric in the classic colors black and chocolate brown. They accommodate up to ladies size 11 and men’s size 12 - simply snip the heel to size, peel and place.
I test-drove these liners on my my sky-high satin Lanvin cone heels that I got a few months ago. I haven't used them yet because I'm saving them for halloween... the only time where it's perfectly acceptable for a 17-year old boy like me to go drag without humiliating himself in public.
Summer Soles' stay-dry liners are THE END of squishy feet. Because I'm fabulous and you are, too, Summer Soles offers a 10% discount to ALL Bryanboy.com readers. To get your exclusive discount, you MUST enter the promo code BRYANBOY upon check-out and you must use the link below to purchase them. Feel free to pass this along to anyone that you know. For more information about Summer Soles, click the link below.
http://www.bryanboy.com/summersoles
Remember... you won't get the discount if you don't use that link or enter the promo code upon check-out. Summer Soles ships worldwide and offers $3 shipping wherever you are in the world.
I think that's all for now. I REALLLLY have to work on my podcast. People are already bugging me, you know.
I love you all! Email [email protected] or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
PS. Discuss this blog post here.
PPSS. Bryanboy loves Canada, too.... and people who go to Yale University. I like smart people.
Laxative Abuse and Debauchery
My god. It's a little past 10PM on a Saturday and I just got up. My sleeping habits are fucked up again. I'm returning to my debauched and hedonistic old ways... I better keep an eye out on myself again.
I got home earlier this afternoon at around 3:30PM from a newfound acquaintance's house in the city. We spent the rest of the night chit chatting... I tried to go to sleep at 11AM but I was too buzzed with all the caffeine on my system from all the vodka red bull I took the night before.
I eventually slept at around 12:30Noon and got up at 2:00PM when my driver picked me up. I'm feeling really awful today. I think I need to catch up with my beauty sleep after this blog post. I'm supposed to go to a friend's birthday party tonight at this bar called Citrus but I don't think I have the energy to do so. RACHEL FUCKIN LOBANGCO HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SLUT! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Last night at M Cafe:
Sunglasses by Dior, t-shirt by Marni, coral necklaces by L'Obelisk (they were REAAAALY heavy), trousers by Kenzo, shoes by Kenzo, bag by Goyard.
Yesterday was fun fun fun! I decided to get a haircut on the last minute because it was just too HOT to have long hair. I don't know how girls can do it.
Here in Manila, I go to 3 salons to take care of my hair. I guess it's great to have an army of stylists at your disposal. I usually go to (Nilo or Glenn) at Fix salon in Festival Mall, Alabang for a quick trim/haircut, otherwise it's with Dennis of Franck Provost in Alabang for haircut, color and highlights and Henry Calayag of H Salon in Rustan's, Makati (if only he weren't too far...) who does the BEST job when it comes to color and highlights!
Pictures before the haircut:
(Don't ask what thing thing on my head is. I didn't know what I was thinking/channeling. Aviators by Cutler & Gross, tank top by Fake London, jeans by Diesel, bag from Goyard)
It's amazing how I look a little thin on that picture (just a little thin ... please don't deprive me a brief moment of delusional self-indulgence) but in real life I'm one obese mess. I gained 20 pounds this year along and I've only lost what? 2 pounds? I've been abusing green tea AND laxative tea the past week or two now. Yep. 4 cups of green tea and 2 cups of laxative tea every day. I must have gone to the shitter at least 3 times a day.
I may need to have a anal reconstruction surgery if I keep on doing this (and to be able to keep my job in the prostitution field). Let me tell you... my anus and my rectum is busted from all the shitting I've been doing recently.
Man, those chinese laxative teas, Gang Xiang and Kankunis are something... you can literally feel the tea working your stomach and intestines.
Here's another thin picture...
Ok.. I know I look thin but there's something wrong and bulky in my arms. That's one of my PET peeves.
I guess I'm not really fat afterall. It's just that I need to work on losing my tummy and my ass.
Don't worry... one day I'll be as thin as Hana Soukupova too.
Anyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyway...
All of the salons I mentioned are great. They're all unqiue and different from each other. If I want to be super pampered, I go to H Salon. You can book a private room and eat sushi from the cafe while getting your hair done. The only problem is the fact that it's too far (it's in the big city)... I'm only a little girl from the suburbian prairie.
Oh, btw, I even had a little shopping cart fun before having a haircut...
Looking at these pictures, my hair is soo jet black I need a touch of color soon!
Moving on... I went to Fix Salon yesterday because I'm on a time crunch. Besides, It's been quite awhile since I last had a haircut. The service is very friendly, fast and efficient... and cheap, too! Can you imagine, I got a haircut AND a manicure for a total of US$8 + tips???? Nothing can beat that!
Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shots
Oh my god I look soooo butch, masculine and scary. The only give-away that I'm a fucking homo is the fact that I'm carrying a US$1,690 Goyard white handbag.
Alright... my arms DO look enormous on that photo but set it in stone... it's either anorexia or nothing before the year ends! I like my new short hair though. I feel sooo clean!!!. Not bad eh? Now all I need is some color... and highlights..
After my haircut, I went home to change clothes then went straight to the big city. My nonsexual wife is back from Nueva York and I have to see her. I haven't seen her in a few months and I really missed her tons. She's looking pretty these days.
That girl keeps on getting more and more sophisticated every time I see her. It's amazing what money and a New York education can do eh? I'm kidding. Hoy Hannah Matronic let's have sex!
I can't wait to get married to Hannah. I don't care that she lusts (or should I say obsessed) over Filipino soap actors the same way I lust over aryan twinks with 12-inch dicks. Put the two of us together and I bet you our babies will end up looking like brown monkeys...who cares though. Brown monkeys in Chanel trump white trash babies in Hollister so there. Nya nyi nya nyi nya nya.
BY THE WAY, IF ANYONE OF YOU HERE KNOWS WHO THAT TJ TRINIDAD GUY IS, PLEASE TELL HIM TO EMAIL ME SO I CAN INTRODUCE HIM TO MY WIFE BECAUSE SHE IS SOO OBSESSED WITH THAT GUY.
Our first stop for the night was Elian Habayeb's birthday at my usual haunt, M Cafe. You know how much I love that place. I even celebrated my 17th birthday party there 2 months ago and I dressed up like Donatella Versace. Hahaha!
By the way, Andy Prada if you are reading this, I know you want a Goyard wallet.... here's the one I was talking about. I found it on a Japanese site so I assume they got it from a Goyard concession in Japan... Isn't he lovely???? I love how they customized it with a skull. Maybe I should get a bright yellow Goyard trunk with a huge white uncut penis custom-painted. Now that would be something...
Photo credit: TheFashionSpot
Apres M, my friend Mariko and I went to Absinth/Absinthe bar where she introduced me to some of her friends. Very, very nice people. It REALLY IS NICE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. Let me just stress that I've never had this opportunity before and it's only in the past year that I've been meeting a people by the SHITLOAD.
We danced for a little bit then went to La Embajada. I brought a bottle of champagne with me in the car and it was soo hilarious... Hannah, Harvey and Mariko and moi were drinking bubbly out of plastic cups and we were just laughing around the parking lot. My driver must have thought we're insane!
We didn't stay at Emba for long. It's funny how I even saw this Swedish guy on the dancefloor. We talked for a little bit but we could barely understand each other because the music was sooo loud.
I chatted to one of my swedish friends online earlier and told him about it..
BryanBoy: 'oh oh oh i met a swedish person last night
Bryanboy: at the club
Bryanboy: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Simon: you did?
Bryanboy: he is sooooooooo geeky looking
Simon: hahahahahha
Bryanboy: YES!
Bryanboy: long blong hair, eyeglasses, tall, shirt, v-neck sweater... typical swedish look
Simon: hahaha
Bryanboy: SOOOOO SWEDISH
Bryanboy: i told him RUNKBÖG and he laughed
Simon: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Bryanboy: but i think he's straight
Simon: wtf is a swedish guy doing in manila :D
Bryanboy: vacation? i don't know... or he could be working for the embassy
Bryanboy: there's a looooooooooooot of europeans at the club
Simon: cool
Bryanboy: see it's funny
Bryanboy: what the fuck is a filipino person doing all the way in bum fuck sweden
Bryanboy: and vice versa
Bryanboy: it's shocking isn't
To cut the story short, I cna't even remember what time we left the club. We met these 2 guys who are REAAAALY nice and friendly and hospitable... one of them is sooo fucking cute (sadly, he's straight) and chilled out at his place. We talked and talked and talked until god knows how long. I guess that's what happens when you only go to straight clubs and most of your friends are straight. Hahaha!
Last night was fun, nonetheless. It was amazing.
Enough about me. Coming up next, a huge ass Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax entry.
As always, I love you all. Email me. My email address is [email protected] or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
Remember kiddies....
Work ittttt! Exercise!
After approximately 3 weeks of channeling domestic goddess Martha Stewart, I finally put my best dancing shoes on and went to the city yesterday evening to infuse some nightlife into my system. I'm seriously surprised how I managed to stay indoors in the past couple of weeks. Shit, I've been hibernating in my own little world filled with plaid aprons, white carnations and yellow daisies.
Any child of MY age SHOULD BE out there indulging in crime, mischief and scandals... or get themselves drunk till they pass out and vomit whatever they ate during the day. They should also do hard drugs, enjoy unsafe sex with multiple partners until they get sperminated or preggers and of course, catch a sexually transmitted disease that can be sorted out by a bunch of antibiotics or lice shampoo. Afterall, life is too short not to experience such hell-worthy sins.
Let's face it, it's a waste of youth to stay indoors on a Saturday night, especially if you're in your late teens with raging hormones (like me). I've been ITCHING to expose myself to the toxicity of bars, booze and clubs so I decided to do just that.
I left the house at 10:30PM. On my way to a friend's house, REALITY knocked on my car window while we're waiting for the stoplight to turn green: the REAL and SAD face of the "FAUX-bulous" third world I live in.
Why is there a young boy, probably younger than 10 years old, selling flowers on the streets late at night when he should be at home asleep?
And there I was... all comfortable in my fully-airconditioned crappy car, all dolled up and decked in ridiculous outfits + accessories that can pretty much feed this child for a year and even send him to a good school.
It really made me think for a second and trust me, this doesn't happen VERY OFTEN considering I'm the most selfish and materialistic son of a bitch you'll probably ever come across.
I kinda felt guilty about my sins so I gave the kid a bag of chips and a bottle of gatorade that I had in my car.
He smiled and thanked me. I asked if I can take a photo, he said yes. I thanked him and I closed the window.
I tried to delete, delete, delete, abort, abort, abort, whatever just happened from my head. It wasn't the right time to think about charity and world peace. My mission for the night is to have fun and paint the town periwinkle. The most important thing in the world at that moment is the fact that I'm so fucking beautiful and that was that.
Anyway, I picked up my friend at her place. I also asked my driver to stop by at the cash machine so I can take out some cash. Usually I don't take out that much since everywhere I go takes credit cards - booze, food, botles of champagne, drug dealers, hired hitmen, shit, even prostitutes these days take credit cards... all it takes is one swipe on their ass cheeks and they're yours for the night.
So yeah, US$20 is enough for the night to cover highway toll-fees, fast food take out, tips, my driver's fee, etc.
After entering my pin number, the machine asked how much cash I wanted to take out.
Out of nowhere, I had mental images and flashbacks of the street child's face. The thought of using my visa card to pay for a night's worth of debauchery gave me a weird feeling at the pit of my stomach. Gone are the days where I'd easily and effortlessly throw my plastic to the air and rack up a 6-foot long bar tab in 6pt Arial font.
I figured I'm gonna ditch the visa for once and pay in cash the entire night so I don't go overboard. Afterall, there are children starving on the streets. I entered P3,000, which is about US$60.
Our first stop was this bar called "Nuvo" where we spent quality time chatting. I had a gin tonic and 3 frozen margaritas. It was refreshing indeed.
We then went to my usual haunt, La Embajada. They recently got renovated and it's the first time I went there after their renovation. They now have 2 VIP areas, which is a good thing.
I thought I'd do the infamous Bryanboy pose. Afterall, it was at La Embajada where I gave birth to that pose.
There weren't a lot of familiar faces so it was fun to let my hair down for a change, get all sweaty and wrecked.
It's refreshing to ditch the glitz, the glamour, the pretension and just dance, dance, dance and sweat like a fuckin rapist!
A fan from Australia even approached me and said hi. See, I'm nice and I don't bite. I got a photo of us taken. Shit, I probably scared the living hell out of her. HAHAHHA. Sorry babes!
Man, it's just like the good ol' days when me and my sister would go to the club, booze our guts out, dance like there's no such thing as tomorrow.
I must have lost 5 pounds from all that dancing! To hell with it, I had a complete body workout.
This guy is a good DJ. For the life of god I can't remember his name and I've seen him many, many times.
Sunglasses by Gucci, bracelet from Hermès, cropped hoodie by Norma Kamali for Everlast, tank top by Fake London, jeans by Fake London, shoes by Dior Homme, Ursula Elise bag from Marc Jacobs collection.
The Marc Jacobs bag is available at all Marc Jacobs boutiques worldwide, Neiman Marcus, Saks, Bergdorf and eLuxury (US$1,050) in the USA.
We left the club at around 3:30AM. I dropped my friend home then I stopped by at McDonald's for a post-clubbing snack. I orderedd chicken nuggets, 2 large fries, a double cheeseburger, a big mac and a large coke.
And yes bitches, I ate them all. There goes my 5 pounds eh?
Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shot
Due to high demand from my readers, I am now gonna post an "obligatory paparazzi shot" going on forward. Many of you have emailed telling me you enjoy these shots so I'll try to do this often.
Isn't it my cropped hoodie sooo Muslim chic? Perhaps I should make a trend out of the burka. Sooo sexy!
5 SECONDS OF TV AIR TIME
Guess who got 5 seconds of TV Air Time in San Diego, California?
I'd like to give a big shout out to Peter from San Diego. In his own words, "thousands of San Diegans know that somebody in San Diego loves Bryanboy."
Peter sent a text message to be shown on the big screen in between performances. It's a concert featuring Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Chris Brown and other folks.
Visit Peter's website at http://www.petterz.com.
Thanks babe. You're a doll!!! You're doing the world a big favor by spreading my gospel and the glory of my faggotry.
Lovely Europeans
Those Europeans sure do know how to make a gook like me happy. They love their labels as much as I do.
Meet Oliver from France...
...Terry from Italy
... and of course, the father of my first born child, Alex from the UK, who is the original "I LOVE BRYANBOY mascot.
It's Sunday, 6:54PM. I'm gonna work on Podcast #006 and my much-awaited Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax post.
You all know where to contact me. Email [email protected] or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
I love you all. Don't do anything that I won't do and remember kids, keep your chastity belts on.
SALMA IS EVIL!!!!!!
The Oscars might be well over but that Salma Hayek person is still making my blood boil. She stole my Nancy G. python minaudiere and used it at the Oscars.
Mrs. T. emailed me with proof.
Ugh!!! I *HATE* celebs like her. They have access to everything, including access to SERIOUS unlimited funds that allows them to buy even MORE exclusive and expensive things.
I seriously hate it.
Poor, third world highly-pretentious mortals with no money like me buy "affordable" and luxurious things to delude ourselves into thinking/feeling that we're rich, yet here's a multi-millionaire actress, who's got even more money than me and full-frontal fashion access to designers and stylists, ruining everything.
I still can't believe that Salma bitch cherry-picked MY cheap-ass US$600 gold python clutch!
Shit, put me in her shoes and I'd be totting a swarovski-encrusted Judith Leiber.
FUCK THAT.
Put me in her shoes and I'd have a friggin minaudiere CUSTOM-MADE for me. Something absolutely ridiculous and vulgar (to match my Atelier Versace dress), dripping with diamonds and precious stones.
But no... little Miss Mexican bitch used a cheap $600 gold python box instead on Hollywood's most glamorous night.
Ugh!!!!!! What a travesty.
Lesson learned: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TRUST LATINOS. THEY'RE GOOD LOOKING AND ALL, YEAH. NOT ONLY THEY WILL BREAK YOUR HEART, THEY'LL ALSO BREAK INTO YOUR CLOSET, TOO.
"My name is Mark"
Saturday was a bitch - my driver was totally incommunicado the entire afternoon/early evening. This is the same guy who slept in my cheap ass car on the parking lot of my favourite club not too long ago. He's the reason why I still have emotional scars from dressing up like a whoring transvestite in 7-inch platform hooker shoes... he made me wait outside the club for an ENTIRE HOUR. Clubgoers prolly thought I was a hooker... at least 7 guys asked for my name and why I was leaving so early etc. Bah!!!!
Enough about the past. The driver you dialled is not yet in service. Please check your driver and try again.
I was supposed to go to a local couturier's fitting session on Saturday afternoon. I also got invited to a fantastic party thrown by my friends at Motorola and I was also supposed to go to an acquaintance's 'Rock n' Roll" wedding bash.
I ended up going out, straight to La Embajada, at 12:30AM feeling shit.
The only thing that made my night was the fact that my one of my best fag hags/nonsexual wife is back in town from NY.
Boy I drank far too much on Saturday. I probably had NO less than a dozen drinks. The double vodka red bulls kept coming and coming.
At the end of the night, Hannah was sitting on my lap and we were kanoodling like lesbians on crack.
I don't wanna be known as the dirty heterosexual person pretending to be a fag just to get girls.
You know, I think I might be a lesbian (or bisexual) female with a dick.
I mean, when you look at it, I like handbags. I like lip gloss. I wear some girl's clothes. I love shopping. I'm obsessed about having a body of a prepubescent 10 year old male that only supermodels like Gemma Ward have.
And then there's my love affair with watching straight porn.
No guy in this hideous town of Manila turns me on anymore. As I've said before, I have to go somewhere else to get some action. How crazy is that? I can't believe I'm a sex tourist at such young age when REAL sex tourists should be paying me to get their poles touch my prostate.
Bah. Whenever I see a gorgeous girl, I like to point em out to my friends and say silly things like "oh, look at her tits" or "her bum is big" or "look she's skinny". When I see a cute guy here I just say "oh, ok, he's cute, so what. next!"
Anyway, enough about my sexuality. You know deep down that nothing can beat the feeling of a hard, thick, throbbing, 8 or 9-inch dick up your poop chute.
There was this cute and really nice fellow who came up to me and asked whether I'm Bryanboy. I told him nope, sorry and my name is Mark.
The three of us had incessant chat until he dropped the bomb whether "Hannah" is "Hannah". I told him her name is "Anna". HAHAHA. Busted!
Hannah then asked the guy "are you gay?". The guy said yeah he's gay. I was laughing sooo hard I was pinching Hannah's arm.
Obviously the guy is gay. But he's not effeminate like me.
Shit, I'm the gayest gay that ever gayed; I am soo fucking gay I sweat GLITTER.
God... Hannah and I got sooo drunk last Saturday.
The two of us went outside and saw the guy leaving along with his friends. I screamed something like "Psst, don't you have manners? Aren't you gonna introduce us to your friends?"
That was crazy. HAH! I love it.
I bet you a million dollars they're talking about how intoxicated and insane I was. HAHAHAHAHA!
See, to all you people out there, male or female, just say hi to me god dammit. I don't bite.
Hannah you wench, we're having dinner on Wednesday.
Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax
#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Swansea, ONT Canada, Letchworth, Norfolk UK, Hamilton, Bermuda, Livonia, MI, Hanna City, IL, Eatontown, NJ, Louth, Ireland, Catania, Sicily Italy, Oxie, Sweden, Krimpen Aan Den Ijssel, Holland, Brussels, Belgium, Novate Milanese, Lombardia Italy and of course, all the gorgeous people who live in Helsinborg, Sweden. I love each and every one of you. To all the gorgeous boys who live in those areas, come to mama and open up your fly.
#2 - First it was Karl Lagerfeld now it's Marc Jacobs. What is it with designers and their hot, hot, hot boy toys? Do I have to be a fucking designer in order to get a hottie these days?
Eeew. I don't even know how to draw!!! Not even stick people!
Anyway, meet Marc Jacobs' boyfriend. He's got Marc's name tattooed on his arm. He's a rent boy, btw, charging US$225 per hour. Click here AND here to read more.
Shit, if only male prostitutes in the third world look like that I'd be buying them like candy. And to think, he's not really THAT hot. He's ok, but not that hot. He's worth the US$225 per hour price tag though.
Curious what a third world male gigolo looks like? Here's one that I found at one of the forums at www.guys4men.com. He's 5'7, 125lbs. He'll let you "suck him for all you want and he'll fuck you really good".
Um... ok.... whatever.
#3 - My shoes just arrived today! All I can say is, I'm DOOMED!
You see, I'm throwing a birthday bash soon and I'm gonna dress up to the nines... couture dress and all. Yes mother fuckers, I'm having a dress made SPECIFICALLY for me and this is my first ever couture dress. It's about time for god's sake, considering I'm turning 17 before the month ends!!!
Anyway, my Chloe and Choos arrived earlier this morning and I think they're a little small. I need a miracle to pull this off on my big day. The Chloe is a size 40 (which is a size 10) and the Jimmy Choo is a size 11.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!! I'm a size 10 (American) on Frye boots and a size 40 on my Dior ski boots and they fit me well good and loose but my new shoes seems to be small. Ok, they're not small as in I can't fit on them... it's just that they fit really tight and I'm scared I'll get a shitload of blisters and callouses from wearing em.
I called my nonsexual wife, Hannah and she told me I should break em... you know, walk around the house wearing em. I wish it was that easy babe. I don't wanna see the look on my dad's face when he catches me sashaying in the living room with my choos. Having a gay child is bad enough, watching your first born son parade in 5-inch sandals is worse.
That's my first ever pair of Jimmy Choos. HAHAHHAHAHA! Now I know why women are so obsessed about shoes... Choos are amazing!
BUYING A PAIR OF JIMMY CHOOS IS WAY BETTER THAN GETTING A SEX CHANGE!!! Who needs a vagina? I'm telling you with my brand spanking new designer shoes, my transformation is complete. Bryanboy is NOW a fuckin woman.
Eew. I still like my penis, thanks very much.
#4 - I take back whatever I said about me not buying Dior this summer. I don't care what you think but this bag is instant gratification for me. I called my sales associate at Bergdorf Goodman and the bag is actually OLIVE GREENish with brown undertones and not brown. $1,995 for this beautiful, beautiful piece.
After watching the Fall/Winter 06/07 RTW Dior video I feel bad for not getting the white one. The gaucho bag is THE Dior bag of 2006. Anyway, it's available at eLuxury... so if you're thinking of getting me a birthday present, The white lambskin gaucho bag is the perfect bag to buy me. :)
Since we're still on the subject of Dior, what is up with Dior copying Gucci? The silhouettes are obviously different but the "style"/"concept" is pretty much the same.
It's fashion eh?
#5 - Chanel boutiques all over the USA launched the "Luxury by Chanel" bag line on Saturday, March 11. Be sure to snap the bowling bags. The last time I bought bowling bags was back in the dark, Prada ages. The Luxury by Chanel bowling bags are available in different colors: beige, coral, red, black, metallic gold, metallic silver (dark silver) and denim. The medium-sized metallic bags are priced at US$2,160.
#6 - What is up with people sending me life quotes via SMS? I think it's a Filipino thing for people to send quotes by cellphone. HELLLLO!!! If I want a quote I'd go to a chinese restaurant and buy fortune cookies! Anyway, I really appreciate people sending me messages but for the life of god, all you need to do really is to tell me you love me.... or tell me who you are, or if you're rich, if you're well-hung or if you're gonna buy me a Boucheron watch. HAHAHAHA *kidding*. In the past few days, I've received quotes like:
"Learn to love the person who is willing to love you at present. Forget the person and the past and thank him/her for hurting you which led you to love the person you have now."
"Sometimes you have to just forget the rules, follow your heart and see where it takes you. Never apologize for saying what you feel because that's like saying sorry for being real. Never regret anything you said or did because at some point, it was what you wanted. True strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting you to fall apart."
(omg btw that is so true. hah! next)
"You only got one life so live it well. One heart so take good care. One soul, keep it pure. One girlfriend? how common."
"I'll never be perfect. I'll never be the best. But one thing I'm sure is I'm perfectly true in giving the best of me just to be a real friend to you."
"Life is a walk of faith in the LORD - full of surprises yet fulfilling. Full of tests yet rewarding... and full of trials yet strengthenin! God bless you. Good PM!"
Enough already! LOL. I really appreciate these quotes but please stop it. I hate those text messages, especially the ones where you have to do a lot of scrolling just to read the next line. I think people are trying to make me lose weight by keeping me tied up on the phone. ;)
If you're gonna send me a message, say hi, tell me about yourself, how you found my blog, how you love me, how you're gonna find me a gorgeous sugar daddy no older than 30 who will buy me my first Rochas gown and Roger Vivier stilettos. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
#7 - I want to be this girl's NEW BFF so I'll tag along to her shopping sprees and she'll buy me everything what I want out of sheer jealousy. Meet Hind Hariri, a 22 year old billionaire from Lebanon. She's the youngest person on the Forbes List. Hind baby if you're reading my blog, can I just say I'm willing to ditch everything that I have just to be your best friend? Buy me a shitload of Hermes croc birkins in every imaginable color and I'll be your confidante for life.
Now that's what I call an heiress... with a double chin. Like me!!!!
Babe, just a piece of advice, dye your hair light brown and take up bulimia or liposuction PRONTO. You need to give Nicole Richie a run for her $200 Million.
Bah! I've been feeling a bit icky the past few days it's not even funny. There's something in the air you know.
Anyway, I'm gonna celebrate my 17th birthday in a couple of days and I'm soo fucking stressed. One of my very good friends pretty much did MOST of the legwork for our birthday party (on top of her ultra busy schedule) and I tremendously owe it to her.
I think that's all for now. I'm gonna start working on Podcast #4. It's been quite awhile since I last did a podcast and I know you're all waiting for it.
Remember boys and girls: only John Galliano walks the runway with bodyguards in tow.
I love you all. Email [email protected] or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
DO NOT SEND ME QUOTES. SEND ME FORTUNE COOKIES INSTEAD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
February Ends With the Letter "L".
Louis Vuitton, Lancome, Ladyboy Love at La Embajada.
I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I've been AWFULLY busy the past few days it's just CRAZY!
I guarantee that today's update will knock you off your seats... especially my pictionaries.
Are you ready?
Go.
My February ended with a bang. Little miss third world gay socialite wannabe went out in full force on Tuesday... I got drunk before sunset and sobered up before dawn.
It's times like these when I feel that my life is nothing but one big party.
It's amazing how I can stay at home, indoors, for 3 whole days like a hermit with no social life whatsoever and then go out as if I'm the newest IT-girl.
Oh well. :)
First stop: Louis Vuitton.
Louis Vuitton notified me that my green perforated speedy had arrived. I went to the store for a viewing session and I have to admit I liked the pink one better. I told them to put it on hold until Thursday or Friday to decide whether or not I'll get it. I picked up a couple of items though - a new ipod case (FYI, I bought a new video ipod), a little pouch thingie for random sundries and 2 bandanas.
I promised my Mexican friend Mauricio, who now lives in Madrid, that I'm not gonna buy any Louis Vuitton bags this year.
I'm supposed to be doing my best to go "logo-free" but Louis Vuitton is just proving it hard. *sigh*
Next Station: Lancome
You know an event is a success if there's someone who left the party intoxicated. In case of Lancome, **I'M** the unlucky bastard who got drunk after more than 5 glasses of white wine, 4 glasses of champagne and a glass of vodka tonic. Shit, I have NEVER drunk in BROAD DAYLIGHT! I got there at 3:15PM and left at around 6PM all tipsy.
Lancome threw a launch party for their Blanc Expert Neuro-White line at M Cafe. I'm sooo glad I wore a white t-shirt (Zara).Otherwise I'd feel out of place in a sea of white.
Remember how I got a miniature pinscher late last year (Daria) then she passed away after a month due to a kidney+liver infection? I still miss my baby.
There were 2 canine cuties at the event... a few folks told me I should get myself a pooch but I don't think I'm ready. I think it's a sign that I'm better off with dead animals (i.e. fur, leather, steak, exotic skins) rather than have a real, live one. Besides, I already have a cat and a dog.
I went to a local designer's atelier for a fitting session after the event. I also popped by at the gas station to grab some hotdogs on my way home. I ***LOVE*** pigging out with gas station food. I had like 3 hotdogs the other day. It's soo damn satisfying.
Trust me, life ain't a 24/7 festival of caviar and foie gras. Sometimes... yes, sometimes, it's fun to rough it up and eat trash.
Mmmm yummy!
I was sooo drunk (and full) when I got home. I slept for around 2 hours. I got up at around 11:30PM, showered, dressed up and went to Embassy.
Last stop: Embassy High
Man, who would have thought my favourite Manila nightclub, Embassy, is one year old? I swear to god, it felt like it's been there for AGES cause it's pretty much the ONLY place/club I go to. Hah!
Yesterday's theme was "Embassy High". A lot of people wore school-like outfits i.e white shirts, shorts, ties, etc.
I on the other hand went all out in my regalia.
I'm at a complete loss of words so I'll let the pictures tell the story. Y'all wouldn't believe how many times I got hit on by guys. It's INSANE.
People who are new to my blog sometimes think I'm a tranny because I wear handbags, lip gloss, tight jeans etc.I always defend myself by telling them I'M NOT A FUCKING TRANNY... I'M JUST A REALLY EFFEMINATE GUY.
Fuck it though.
They want tranny, I'll get them tranny.
I only have one thing to say.
DONTCHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND CAN SUCK COCK LIKE ME?
DONTCHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A FREAK LIKE ME?
DONTCHA?
TUESDAY night was definitely SOMETHING.
I had SOOO much fun.
I also had an early night. I got into the club at around 12:30AM and left the club at around 3AM.
My damn driver fell asleep and the bastard won't pick up the phone. I had to wait for 30 minutes outside the club, looking all cheap, trashy and whore-ish.
THANK GOD I saw a couple of acquaintances who offered me a ride. I told her all I wanna do is look where my driver parked my car. I had to knock on the windows for 5 minutes before my driver got up.
My acquaintances told me to fire him but I won't. I had to cut him some slack. He's been up on the road since 8AM.
Anyway...
Tuesday was nothing but fun, fun, fun. I LOVE IT.
I think that's it for now. A lot of things happened yesterday, Wednesday, and I'll post them later when I get up.
I love you all as always.
Email [email protected] or SMS +63-915-785-1492. Bombard me with messages of love and hate so I'll have a smile on my face when I get up.
Tell me I'm pretty!
Tell me you love my vagina.
PS. Discuss this blog post here.
P.P.S.S. Man, I feel like a woman!
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Shower me with attention and inflate my ego. Email photos of your love and I'll add you to my ever-growing collection. Be creative! Be spontaneous! Send them to [email protected] today! |
