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September 06, 2006

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax: Lunch, Thais, Fendi, Greeks, Vivienne Westwood, Suri Cruise and a shitload of other insanity.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Montclair, CA, Melbourne, VIC Australia, Vienna, Austria, Lima, Peru, Los Angeles, CA, Cairo, Egypt, Chandler, AZ, Cranford, NJ, Kearny, NJ, Pike, NY, Ames, IA (why are people from Iowa reading my blog? I love it!), Burnaby, BC Canada, Athens, Greece, Hasselby, Sweden, Las Vigas, Mexico and of course, people from Bakersfield, CA. I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don't be shy!

#2 - Contrary to what people think, I'm no techie... and I'm no gadget freak either. I really don't give a flying fiver to the latest and the greatest gadget out there. You're talking to someone who's got a phobia with electrical sockets, outlets and plugs; I'd rather jump off the bridge than plug my cellphone charger to the wall.

Anyway, you see, I bought my Sony DSC-N1 touchscreen camera around 6 months ago and I still don't know what it can do for me. I mean, yeah, I know how to take pictures and upload em to my computer but that's about it.

I toyed around with some of the options the other day and here's the result. I fuckin look like a whitewashed FOB person!

At least I look thin on that photo. Hahaha!

#3 - Here we go again with another "I'm fat" post.

You know, someone should just stop my binge-eating habits because I'm getting obese. And to think, I had lipo done like what, 2 months ago? All that fat I lost resurfaced once again and I'm now a plump chimp once again.

I HATE this life. I guess this is what happens whenever I get out of the house at daytime -- I overeat! For instance, I ran some errands the other day with Miss Eunice and we ended up having lunch at Cibo. I ordered lobster soup and some fish for easy purging should I decide to stick my tongue cleaner down my throat and make my Pro-MIA buddies proud.

I had the option of having either potatoes or rice with the fish but I told the waiter to serve me bread instead so I won't feel bad about the starving children in Africa if I didn't eat it. 

Pro-Ana/Pro-Mia Tip #68,210: according to the article the lovely Aaron Gell wrote for Radar Magazine, thinspiration goddess Allegra Versace likes to "send her food back numerous times, demanding that it be made hotter." Her typical meal consists of thinly sliced vegetables, roasted until they're nearly charred, and then microwaved. The ultimate in food sabotage! Hahahaha!

Photo credit: The Superficial

So yeah.. I ate everything, fish, mushrooms and zucchini aka courgette, depending what country you're from. I took a teeny tiny bite on one of the bread slices then all my anal hemorrhoids flared up from all that carb ingestion so I thought an after-meal cigarette is the best way to wrap up my lunch.

Don't get me wrong, I love Cibo but I have to watch what I put in my mouth these days. I didn't even finish my soup!!! I know big is beautiful but man I sooo don't want to go back to the docs to get another lipodissolve sesion.

Come to think of it, I'm still having nightmares about the lunch I had last week with Mrs. T. in Myron's located at Powerplant Mall, Rockwell. It turned out to be a little (unexpected) Coco affair -- she brought her mammoth lambskin plum and I used my baby Chanel.

We had Oyster Rockefeller for starters before having the Paolo Steak with foie gras. Mmmm yummy. I ate everything on my plate except the fatty bits. Cholesterol galore!!!

Ok, the photo above (my photo) looks gross so here's a shot Mrs. T. took... (thanks for letting me steal your photo hahaha).

Photo credit: TheBaghag

Here's another picture she took. Apparently she thought I'm thin... I say either she's drunk or she's hallucinating. I'm not thin! Look at that belly!!! I seriously look as if I got knocked-up by some hairy lumberjack but in reality, the last time I got any of my orifices invaded by an identifiable penetrating object was 9-10 months ago!

Photo credit: TheBaghag

Enough food talk. There's starving people in Africa you know and it's crucial that we understand their plight.


#4 - Who amongst you can read/understand Thai? I came across this website where people from Thailand revel in my glory and celebrate my position on top of the food chain. If you're Thai, please email me a quick summary/synopsis of what people are saying behind my back and I'll give you a kiss on the cheek plus an oreo cookie. I'm sure it's all good because I'm fantastic.

#5 - I love my readers. I really do. But you all know I love Fendi even more. Izy from Phoenix, Arizona emailed me this.

"I just have to email this picture i took from the fendi store inside the bellagio hotel in vegas. i literally had to stop people from walking so i can take a snapshot. im not sure if somebody else has given you a copy of it but heck, it's a worth a try. im not trying to kiss your ass, ha. it's just really cute."

Isn't she sweet?

#6 - Yes, those Greeks love me indeed! Here's another shot from Santorini. I'm telling you, geography really is no boundary when it comes to my faggotry. I WANNA GO TO GREECE!!!! SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME FREE AIRLINE TICKETS SO I CAN GET FUCKED THE BOYS FROM MYKONOS. I ALSO WANT MY OWN STAVROS NIARCHOS GOD DAMMIT! If you know someone owns a private jet... or, if they're poor but they have a Netjets or Marquis membership, tell them to give me a holler. I'm willing to give free sexual favours to anyone who can fly me out of this shithole, bring me to Greece for a week or two then fly me back home.

#7 - Hahahahahaha! I honestly have never seen Paris Hilton cry before so this photo is a classic. Good ol' Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis was DENIED ENTRY at New York nightclub Bungalow 8 for the MTV VMA afterparty. Click here for more pictures and to read more.

Photo credit: The Superficial

I love that woman. Hahahaha!  Everyone says Bungalow 8 refused her entry but I think it's just another publicity stunt from the PaRasite Hilton PR machine.

I also love Brandon Davis aka the King of Sweaty Betties, too. The sweat on his face reminds me the pain and suffering I go through every time I brave third world heat and humidity. Sweaty betties of the world UNITE!

Photo credit:

#8 - Am I the only one who finds the Vivienne Westwood for Nine West shoes REPULSIVE?

I have a feeling good ol' anglomaniac firecrotch Viv ran out of ideas so she popped by Netflix to borrow the Clueless DVD and made a pair of boots out of Cher's shoes and Dionne's skirt. *vomits*

#9 - Thinspiration picture of the day: Kate Bosworth courtesy of my fave gossip blog, Dlisted.

#10 - Suri has arrived! Tom Cruise is obviously on a roll to make megabucks, hence the Vanity Fair exclusive, after being fired by Paramount. Photo courtesy of

I bet you a shitload of money (aka my lifesavings of US$30.17) that baby underwent some serious plastic surgery hence all that hoolabaloo.

I think that's all for now. Email me and tell me you love me. Email or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!


PS. Discuss this blog post on my Online Discussion Forum.

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