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August 09, 2006

Camwhore Central: My mouth is terrible but I'm fucking fantastic.

My mouth is terrible but I'm fucking fantastic.

When was the last time you had dental work done? I finally got my lazy fat ass down to the dentists yesterday and spent almost 3 hours in the clinic at Asian Hospital.

Just as what I suspected, my upper left wisdom tooth is fucked up. The dentist made me chose between an extraction or a filling. I opted for a filling instead because I had a very important meeting an advertising agency in the afternoon and I cannot afford to look like a fucking chipmunk. One of my fairy godmothers told me her friend got her wisdom teeth pulled out and she ended up looking like a battered wife for days.

God I look soooo gross.

I have absolutely no idea what anesthesia they used on me. Was it lidocaine? Oh I dunno. Whatever. You know me sweetheart, I'm fascinated with anything and everything that rhymes with cocaine. Like candy cane for example.

Full storyline and serious camwhorage after the jump

I slept early on Sunday night and I got up at around 6AM yesterday morning. I had lots of things on my plate -- I had to go to the dentists, go to the mall to shop, meet these gals from an advertising agency for possible sponsorship, go to the photographer to pick up the CD from my accessories line photo shoot, etc. It was crazy! Finally... I'm a WORKING WOMAN!


Our first stop yesterday was the ATM at the hospital. Unlike my previous dentist who is glad to take plastic, my new dentist only takes cash. She holds fort and she's got a suite at one of the Philippines' top hospitals but she doesn't take plastic. I mean, I thought everyone these days take plastic. Whatever.


I went to the hospital with our maid Miss Aissa. In case you haven't noticed, the ever so fabulous Miss Eunice has been out of commission lately. She's busy having cyber sex with filthy bull dyke lesbians online. I'm kidding. Nah, she's currently going on and off to my grandma's house and she's training their new maid.


My new dentist, Dr. Novenario is very lovely. She's a little bit on the chubby side but we all know big is beautiful and chubby people are the best with it comes to tender loving care. She made me feel comfortable all throughout the process and she even allowed me to camwhore while she's cleaning my filthy mouth. I love her!


My previous dentist on the other hand was soo skinny, wore Prada all the time and she even scammed me by selling me these OVERPRICED teeth whitening at home shit for US$400 when I can get it online for $80.

Whatever. I like them both.

I just wish all doctors in the Philippines are just like Dr. Lisa Airan of NYC. WHY WEAR A WHITE COAT WHEN YOU CAN WEAR J. MENDEL AND MARNI UNDERNEATH A WHITE COAT?


I swear to god, one of these days I am soooo gonna find a MALE Dr. Lisa Airan to treat me like a princess. With the rising costs of quality healthcare these days, I don't mind giving sexual favours in exchange for treatments.

I love the dentists. I really do. I think from now on, I'm gonna get my mouth cleaned every 3 months instead of 6. I still don't understand this whole aversion against dentists. I mean, why are people sooo fucking scared? Proper dental hygeine is a must.


I really have to take care of my meeth, in spite of them being crappy as it is, because I don't want to be like my family members. I DON'T EVEN NEED A GOD DAMN CRYSTAL BALL TO SEE THE FUTURE. EVERYONE OVER THE AGE OF 40 on my mom's side has fucked up teeth. Some of their teeth are just utterly, utterly fucked up while some, well, they don't even have any teeth anymore... they have dentures!

My pearly yellows may not be bright, blinding white like most Americans have but whatever. I love my teeth as they are.

You may want to read this poster. Maybe you'll learn a two or something.


Camwhore galore...


... and more camwhorage outside all those closed doors.


I love myself. Tell me you fucking love me.


More camwhorage while waiting for my driver to pick me up outside the hospital. Miss Aissa is damn good, no?


I love my new shoes. I think they're gorgeous. Thank god it rained yesterday otherwise, I wouldn't be able to take them out for a quick spin.

Behold the new Bryanboy pose. Take note of the leg.


One last photo for the road. I look like I'm dying to take a shit on this photo.


Fuck that. I look sooo fucking thin on my photos I might as well plaster them all online.




I'm gorgeous (even on a plain t-shirt and shorts) and you're not so deal with it.


Call me stupid or whatever but it was only over the weekend I found out that oversized t-shirts can make a bitch like me look skinny. I'm telling you, I am sooo gonna fucking buy a shitload of XXXXXL garbage t-shirts, like Mary Kate Olsen. DUMPSTER CHIC WILL NEVER BE OUT OF STYLE!

All hail this month's thinspiration.


I'm kidding.

I think I'm gonna look good if I buy a similar, super oversized, knee-length t-shirt and just wear them with super super barely there micro shorts and my boots. What do you think?

Photo credit: Hulkmad

Moving on...

I went to Powerplant Mall/Rockwell in the city to look around for things to buy. I ended up at Zara (again) and bought a couple more tops.


Both Miss Aissa and moi were starving so I took her to Cibo where we had a quick snack. She had some penne al telefono whereas I had my usual sausage.


I love Miss Aissa. She's soo innocent unlike my oh-so-fabulous bulldyke, Miss Eunice. Hahaha I'm kidding.


After Cibo, Miss Aissa and moi went straight to M Cafe where I had a business meeting. The traffic was horrendous. Time to spare = serious camwhorage.


Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shots



The meeting lasted for about 3 hours and the gals I met were all lovely and nice. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Like what I said, I am soooooo gonna run for President someday.




I had an appointment at the clinic for my usual facial + powerpeel/microdermabrasion but it was friggin rush hour. There is no way I'm gonna go from the city down to the clinic down south in less than 1 hour unless I get a free ride on some third world congressman's helicopter.



That's Josh Hartnett you fool, not Josh the flannel plaid shirt wearing college kid. Yuck.


I window-shopped at Greenbelt 4 instead. Had a quick look at Yves Saint Laurent. I FUCKING HATE THEM! Remember the YSL leather + straw MAIA bag last season? It's supposed to be on sale cause it's already fall/winter but it's still full priced at YSL Manila. *sigh* I hate the third world.

Here are some parting shots from yesterday's trip to the city.


As always, remember kids to keep the faggotry alive!


It's 9:30AM on a Tuesday and I better start getting ready. I have another business meeting to attend today. I need to make money for god's sake!

I'll keep you all posted soon.

Y'all know how to get hold of my fat ass. Email or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

Tell me you love me!


PS. Discuss this blog post on my Online Discussion Forum.

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