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June 15, 2006

Laguna Beached Whale

Laguna Beached Whale

I'm officially the least productive person in the world. I just spent the entire day pigging indoors and watching Season 1 & 2 of Laguna Beach. I'm feeling sick after a booze-fuelled night. I guess my system can no longer tolerate copious amounts of booze. I'm getting old!!!!

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061506_taiChanneling Taiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii from Clueless....

Anyway, Laguna Beach has got to be the trashiest show I have ever seen in my entire life yet I'm hooked like a street tramp addicted to smack. I have no idea why it's sooo entertaining to watch a bunch of fat American kids in Chanel sunglasses roam around town and drink juice out of cheap plastic cups. All the boys are zit-faced and shit ugly whereas most of the girls have awful tans, hideous blond hair extensions... and worse, they're all obese! I bet you I'd fit well right in if I go there!

There are 9 DVDs and I just finished watching 6. God I'm sooo pathetic... and jealous of all that American wealth that is being flashed right in front of your face, California mansions and trips to (gag) Cabo, Mexico and all.

I just find it completely odd how a majority of European youth go to far flung, transcontinental places to spend their gap years whereas young Americans choose to go to bumfuck Mexico for a week or two to get drunk and catch STDs from (presumably) fellow Americans. I wanna go to Mexicooooooo and have an American Hollister-wearing teenage jock give me crabs!!!! Hahahahaha!

Those yanks, I'm telling you, are a whole new breed of people and I fucking love it.

Yesterday was a blast. I went to the big city (Rockwell Mall) with my younger sister early in the afternoon and we accomplished a lot of stuff.

Our first stop was the bank...

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followed by a trip to the mall!

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We had a little snack session at one of my fave Italian fast food/cafe haunts, Cibo, where I conducted several meetings. I had a salad and some sausage thingie.

Guess who popped by whilst I was there? Everyone from Mrs. T. to make up artist extraordinaire Xeng Zulueta and her sister Monica, Hannah's best friends, Janthina & Stacy and last, but not the least, Philippine Tatler Magazine's Fashion Editor, Karla.

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I stayed there for about 2 hours before I went inside the mall to browse around and shop. I bought 3 cute necklaces from this lovely little shop called "Mimi". The colors look weird though because of the flash.

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We checked out the usual high street chain shops i.e. Top Shop and Zara but didn't find anything that we fancy so we decided to go back home.

We camwhored a little bit outside though. It's amazing how I trashed what's supposed to be an American preppy classic: a Polo Ralph Lauren pique polo. Instead of wearing khakis and browns, i wore black shorts and a pair of white shoes from Zara, a leather, chains, diamante and pearl belt that I wore as a bracelet, another bracelet from Louis Vuitton, sunglasses from Christian Dior, black bag and Chocolat watch from Chanel.

I look so butch on this photo, no?

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Minus the handbag and the belt-used-as-a-bracelet, of course.

It was a long drive back to my grandma's where I stayed for about an hour or two. Mrs. T. and I chatted online for a little bit about before I went home to get dressed.

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I left the house at around 10PM and went straight to my usual haunt, Cuisine at La Embajada. It was drizzling yesterday night so I thought a hat and a silk cardigan (Roberto Collina) would be appropriate though it ended up being a pest because little did I know I'd be dancing to the tunes of Hilary Duff (oh yes... and to think, Wednesdays are supposed to be hip hop night yet they played Kylie and Hilary Duff).

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I had literally had nothing to wear (as always) but I found these unused stripe-y pants I got many, many, many years ago from an unknown label called 5 | 48. A friend from Sweden called them "clown pants". Bitch!

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Photo credit: Janthina. Note to people: this is how thin we really are. Take note of my arm.

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Hat from Tesoro's, necklaces from H&M and Mimi, white tank top from Calvin Klein, cardigan from Roberto Collina, trousers from 5 | 48, bag from Fendi, shoes from Zara

I got the Panama hat from a very popular Filipino souvenir/handicrafts shop called "Tesoro's" for about US$18... a bazillion times cheaper than my Chanel panama hat. I guess I really should check out local shops more often because there's an abundance of treasures out there at a cheap price. What can I say... I'm a horrible shopper and a sucker for labels. How terrible!

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Now I know how Hannah felt when she saw pictures of her gut sticking out last Wednesday. I hated how the V cardigan fell on my body... all these buttons at the bottom... ugh! They made me look fat! My belly is NOT THAT BIG!! Hideous. Just hideous! Now y'all know why I'm desperate to lose 20 pounds! I'm obese!

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Photo credit: Mark Nicdao

I had a realization earlier whilst watching Laguna Beach. I think the reason why I've been binge-eating the past few months is because I'm depressed and subconciously, I really want to be fat so I'll have a valid excuse to get a liposuction.

Let's play pictionary!

Congressman Harvey flanked by third world whores, Janthina and Stacy...

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I'm officially the gayest-acting straight man in the world.

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Oh dear god.

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Nothing beats getting drunk on cheap champagne and vodka red bulls...

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I LOOOOOVE Stacy!

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"It's not really your tits I'm after Hannah, it's the Hermès scarf!" Take note of the rip on the side of Hannah's Tsubi jeans. Bitch you're getting fat just like me! Don't blame Tsubi's quality control... fat is fat and fat is the new black!

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Monica and David. Hoy bakla tinalbugan ako ng powers mo!

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More photos...

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A picture is worth a thousand words...

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... and the night wouldn't be complete without a tai tai-riffic visit from a tai tai! Yes!!!! Even Mrs. T. graced us a visit. Balenciaga dress and all!

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What a night eh? I got home a little after 3 and had a good night's sleep.

I'm telling you, hanging out with the "kids" made me felt like an old ogre! It really is weird (in a good "weird", I mean) to be the oldest amongst the bunch because in the past few years that I've been going out, I'm usually the YOUNGEST!

Long live the the wonders of youth. Time flies sooo fast these days you'll regret the day you lose your youth. Enjoy it while you can... all of you! Go clubbing! Go get drunk! Do lots of illegal drugs! Have anonymous, unsafe sex! Experiment in homosexuality! Experience hallucinations! Contract an STD! Get pregnant at least once (and have it aborted)! Life is too short NOT to experience things and it's sooo much better to do everything while you're young.

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Hermès in the third world you ask? I got a new twilly from Mrs. T!

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