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May 21, 2006

Laxative Abuse and Debauchery

052006_djLaxative Abuse and Debauchery

My god. It's a little past 10PM on a Saturday and I just got up. My sleeping habits are fucked up again. I'm returning to my debauched and hedonistic old ways... I better keep an eye out on myself again.

I got home earlier this afternoon at around 3:30PM from a newfound acquaintance's house in the city. We spent the rest of the night chit chatting... I tried to go to sleep at 11AM but I was too buzzed with all the caffeine on my system from all the vodka red bull I took the night before.

I eventually slept at around 12:30Noon and got up at 2:00PM when my driver picked me up. I'm feeling really awful today. I think I need to catch up with my beauty sleep after this blog post. I'm supposed to go to a friend's birthday party tonight at this bar called Citrus but I don't think I have the energy to do so. RACHEL FUCKIN LOBANGCO HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SLUT! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Last night at M Cafe:


Sunglasses by Dior, t-shirt by Marni, coral necklaces by L'Obelisk (they were REAAAALY heavy), trousers by Kenzo, shoes by Kenzo, bag by Goyard.

Yesterday was fun fun fun! I decided to get a haircut on the last minute because it was just too HOT to have long hair. I don't know how girls can do it.

Here in Manila, I go to 3 salons to take care of my hair. I guess it's great to have an army of stylists at your disposal. I usually go to (Nilo or Glenn) at Fix salon in Festival Mall, Alabang for a quick trim/haircut, otherwise it's with Dennis of Franck Provost in Alabang for haircut, color and highlights and Henry Calayag of H Salon in Rustan's, Makati (if only he weren't too far...) who does the BEST job when it comes to color and highlights!

Pictures before the haircut:


(Don't ask what thing thing on my head is. I didn't know what I was thinking/channeling. Aviators by Cutler & Gross, tank top by Fake London, jeans by Diesel, bag from Goyard)

052006_teaIt's amazing how I look a little thin on that picture (just a little thin ... please don't deprive me a brief moment of delusional self-indulgence) but in real life I'm one obese mess. I gained 20 pounds this year along and I've only lost what? 2 pounds? I've been abusing green tea AND laxative tea the past week or two now. Yep. 4 cups of green tea and 2 cups of laxative tea every day. I must have gone to the shitter at least 3 times a day.

I may need to have a anal reconstruction surgery if I keep on doing this (and to be able to keep my job in the prostitution field). Let me tell you... my anus and my rectum is busted from all the shitting I've been doing recently.

Man, those chinese laxative teas, Gang Xiang and Kankunis are something... you can literally feel the tea working your stomach and intestines.

Here's another thin picture...


Ok.. I know I look thin but there's something wrong and bulky in my arms. That's one of my PET peeves.


I guess I'm not really fat afterall. It's just that I need to work on losing my tummy and my ass.


Don't worry... one day I'll be as thin as Hana Soukupova too.



All of the salons I mentioned are great. They're all unqiue and different from each other. If I want to be super pampered, I go to H Salon. You can book a private room and eat sushi from the cafe while getting your hair done. The only problem is the fact that it's too far (it's in the big city)... I'm only a little girl from the suburbian prairie.

Oh, btw, I even had a little shopping cart fun before having a haircut...



Looking at these pictures, my hair is soo jet black I need a touch of color soon!

Moving on... I went to Fix Salon yesterday because I'm on a time crunch. Besides, It's been quite awhile since I last had a haircut. The service is very friendly, fast and efficient... and cheap, too! Can you imagine, I got a haircut AND a manicure for a total of US$8 + tips???? Nothing can beat that!

Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shots

Oh my god I look soooo butch, masculine and scary. The only give-away that I'm a fucking homo is the fact that I'm carrying a US$1,690 Goyard white handbag.



Alright... my arms DO look enormous on that photo but set it in stone... it's either anorexia or nothing before the year ends! I like my new short hair though. I feel sooo clean!!!. Not bad eh? Now all I need is some color... and highlights..



After my haircut, I went home to change clothes then went straight to the big city. My nonsexual wife is back from Nueva York and I have to see her. I haven't seen her in a few months and I really missed her tons. She's looking pretty these days.



That girl keeps on getting more and more sophisticated every time I see her. It's amazing what money and a New York education can do eh? I'm kidding. Hoy Hannah Matronic let's have sex!

I can't wait to get married to Hannah. I don't care that she lusts (or should I say obsessed) over Filipino soap actors the same way I lust over aryan twinks with 12-inch dicks. Put the two of us together and I bet you our babies will end up looking like brown monkeys...who cares though. Brown monkeys in Chanel trump white trash babies in Hollister so there. Nya nyi nya nyi nya nya.


Our first stop for the night was Elian Habayeb's birthday at my usual haunt, M Cafe. You know how much I love that place. I even celebrated my 17th birthday party there 2 months ago and I dressed up like Donatella Versace. Hahaha!


By the way, Andy Prada if you are reading this, I know you want a Goyard wallet.... here's the one I was talking about. I found it on a Japanese site so I assume they got it from a Goyard concession in Japan... Isn't he lovely???? I love how they customized it with a skull. Maybe I should get a bright yellow Goyard trunk with a huge white uncut penis custom-painted. Now that would be something...

Photo credit: TheFashionSpot

Apres M, my friend Mariko and I went to Absinth/Absinthe bar where she introduced me to some of her friends. Very, very nice people. It REALLY IS NICE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. Let me just stress that I've never had this opportunity before and it's only in the past year that I've been meeting a people by the SHITLOAD.

We danced for a little bit then went to La Embajada. I brought a bottle of champagne with me in the car and it was soo hilarious... Hannah, Harvey and Mariko and moi were drinking bubbly out of plastic cups and we were just laughing around the parking lot. My driver must have thought we're insane!

We didn't stay at Emba for long. It's funny how I even saw this Swedish guy on the dancefloor. We talked for a little bit but we could barely understand each other because the music was sooo loud.

I chatted to one of my swedish friends online earlier and told him about it..

052006_bogBryanBoy:  'oh oh oh i met a swedish person last night
Bryanboy:  at the club
Simon: you did?
Bryanboy:  he is sooooooooo geeky looking
Simon: hahahahahha
Bryanboy:  YES! 
Bryanboy:  long blong hair, eyeglasses, tall, shirt, v-neck sweater... typical swedish look
Simon: hahaha
Bryanboy:  i told him RUNKBÖG and he laughed
Bryanboy:  but i think he's straight
Simon: wtf is a swedish guy doing in manila :D
Bryanboy:  vacation? i don't know... or he could be working for the embassy
Bryanboy:  there's a looooooooooooot of europeans at the club
Simon: cool
Bryanboy:  see it's funny
Bryanboy:  what the fuck is a filipino person doing all the way in bum fuck sweden
Bryanboy:  and vice versa
Bryanboy:  it's shocking isn't

To cut the story short, I cna't even remember what time we left the club. We met these 2 guys who are REAAAALY nice and friendly and hospitable... one of them is sooo fucking cute (sadly, he's straight) and chilled out at his place. We talked and talked and talked until god knows how long. I guess that's what happens when you only go to straight clubs and most of your friends are straight. Hahaha!

Last night was fun, nonetheless. It was amazing.

Enough about me. Coming up next, a huge ass Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax entry.

As always, I love you all. Email me. My email address is or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

Remember kiddies....



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