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May 31, 2006

Aiming for Anorexia: The Official Bryanboy "DYING TO BE THIN" Diet and Faggotry in Motion #004

Aiming for Anorexia:

The Official Bryanboy "DYING TO BE THIN" Diet

There was a time when I felt like I cared that I was shorter than everyone there. People made me feel like life was unfair and I did things that made me ashamed... cos I didn't know my body would change.
I grew taller than them in more ways but there will always be the one who will say something bad to make them feel great.

People are all the same and we only get judged by what we do... personality reflects name and if I'm ugly then so are you. So are you.

-- Sugababes: "Ugly"


I really have had it. I got up earlier this afternoon with another nightmare... two nightmares, in fact. One of them involves Adderall, an amphetamine-based prescription drug prescribed for pre-school kids with Attention Deficit Disorder followed by another one with Roman designer Valentino Garavani (whose face hasn't changed a single bit for decades) and Hollywood actress Nicole Kidman.


Can I just say I'm turning into a complete nutcase? Someone please stop it. Stop it already. These weird dreams are driving me insane.


"There is something distasteful about their inability to control themselves. To be thin takes control and rigour." -- Karl Lagerfeld on fat people

I slept at around 10AM on Tuesday morning after pulling an all-nighter online only to wake up at 2 in the afternoon with another awful nightmare. I caught one of my fat younger sisters staring at the mirror then she gave me this orange bottle of pills that said "Adderall". She told me "I thought you could do with some of these." I could barely remember what happened next but the name of the drug etched a permanent mark in my head. I honestly haven't heard of this drug before. Ever.

053106_addErr wait. Yes, I have. Once.

A little over 5 months ago, I went to this island here in the Philippines. One of my acquaintance's friend who flew in from the USA had a bottle of Adderall with him. I remember him offering me a pill and I should try it out. He said it's prescribed for children with ADD (attention deficit disorder). I have this pill phobia so I refused his offer. That was the first AND last time I heard of the drug. In fact, I completely forgotten about it. Until today.

I googled "adderall" as soon as I got up and found out the drug is indeed prescribed for kids with attention deficit disorder. Apparently it's got amphetamines, the same shit they mix on cocaine, speed, ecstasy (in conjunction with MDMA) or crystal meth, the drug of choice of barebacking, bug-chasing faggots into "party and play" orgies in cities like San Francisco or New York.



My god look at me. Your local alcohol and substance abuse education center would be so proud of me for being updated when it comes to drug culture. It's amazing what you find on the internet these days, eh?

Anyway, I'm trying figure out why I even had that dream. Is it because of the fact that I'm a big attention whore...


... or is it the subconcious thought of popping amphetamine-based pills will make me skinny is a sign that I am indeed too fat?

A friend suggested via MSN Messenger that i change my eating habits. We even made a pact to NEVER mention fast food again in our conversations and no solid food exceeding 10 grams. Ok, the latter is hard, I know. I even flushed whatever it is that is left on my coca cola bottle (I wanted to say 'coke' but it's sooo druggie) down the toilet.

He then mentioned the thought of me going into a watermelon diet... and tons of ice cold water.

Why haven't I thought of that BEFORE?

I paid a visit to the supermarket to pick up some fruit.. heck, a LOT of fruit. I bought 4 enormous watermelons, the ones Katie Holmes-Cruise used underneath her oversized tops before giving birth to the alien named "Suri".


I also bought a dozen apples, some seedless red grapes (my mom lashed out on me cause she's so anti seedless grapes... as if she's the one eating them anyway) and a couple of bananas.


Oh my god, speaking of fruits, those photos are so Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2000. Remember the fruit market show?


When someone emails you this, it means it's TIME to clean up your act and get rid of the fat fact!


Anyway, so I came up with a new diet plan. At least for the next 2-3 weeks. Maybe a month. Who knows.


There's hope, everyone! I printed a copy of this photo. Afterall, I need some sort of thinspiration. Shit, even my tummy looked soooo big back then.


I'll give my diet plan a shot. If it works, I'll write a book about it. My new diet plan could be the next New York Times Bestseller.



I popped by the gas station to pick up something to quench my thirst (ugh.. this will be my LAST diet coke ever) before going to my dermatologist's clinic for my facial. I'm soo stupid. I went to the supermarket and I totally forgot to buy a drink!!!


Sunglasses by Dior, striped top by Dolce & Gabbana, Hermès scarf worn as a belt, jeans from Citizens of Humanity, sneakers from Kenzo, bag from Goyard.



Today's Obligatory Paparazzi Shot

I'd pick this one because it seems so real...


compared to this one.


053106_valentinoYou know, after writing this blog post, I barely remember what happened in my other dream about Valentino and Nicole Kidman. I know the three of us went aboard Valentino's yacht. Some Italian guy snatched my passport away from me, Valentino called the Italian Prime Minister and Nicole consoled me by giving me a drink.

I think I tried to force-feed Nicole the same way foie gras farms force-feed ducks (I love foie gras!). Nicole cried and Valentino told Nicole that she should eat. I said something like "you know Nicole, you should try things at least once." then Valentino snapped at me telling me "you know, you should try to things at least once" and pointed at my bloated tummy.

I can't remember what else had happened. *sigh*


Faggotry in Motion #004

Here's another video for you guys. Enjoy!

Click here for some of my other FAGGOTRY IN MOTION videos.

I think that's all for now.

OMG, I love Paula Abdul's (or her personal assistant's) Goyard... look at that skull!. Photo courtesy of TheFashionSpot. I'm totally digging her personal bag carrier's look. Paula Abdul on the other hand looks scary. It's time for me to buy a new Goyard...


I think that's all for now. God I really look so fucked up these days I need to get my act together. Seriously. I'm getting uglier and uglier as I get older. Dontcha hate ageing?

I'm going shopping!

I love you all. Email or SMS +63.915.785.1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post here.

PPSS. Be sure to visit my site tomorrow cause boy I have a BIG surprise for you, courtesy of the lovely folks at Shu Uemura. Stay tuned.

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