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April 10, 2006

Snap out of it!, Meet My New Toy

Snap out of it!

I seriously need to snap out of it and I need all the help I can get. It's Monday night and the only thing I did in the past 48 hours is wallow in my own personal drama. I also slept tons, eat a lot and pissed a lot. I'm sooo dirty! The last time I took a shower was early yesterday morning. I smell like a fuckin goat. The last time I defecated was back on Saturday night!

041006_suicide

I really feel like crap. I've been feasting on junk food the entire day. Hello self-destruction. I drank 4 liters of Diet Coke...  that's a gallon of fattening jizz. At the rate things are going, I may have to get a liposuction done PRONTO. At least I no longer have an excuse because I'm gonna be as big as a fuckin car.

I know I was wrong. Sober or drunk, there's no excuse for appalling behavior. Nevertheless, thanks, everyone, for all your nice messages. I got a ton of emails and texts. Keep them coming and please attach pictures of cute guys holding "I love Bryanboy" signs. Email bryan@bryanboy.com.

Seriously, thank you for trying to make me feel better. I still feel terrible and the only thing that can bring me back to life is a Fendi B Bag, in black patent leather or white canvas with black patent leather handles. I'm not that hard to please.

Meet My New Toy

I looove my new camera! The large screen is gorgeous. I have to admit the only reason why I bought it is the fact that I can draw things on the touch screen... and my younger brother broke my other camera, too. I guess I have to be extra careful on this one because I have sweaty palms. I really should get my palms botoxed. I heard hollywood celebs get it done on their armpits to prevent sweaty armpit mishaps on Oscar night etc.

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Roberto Collina cardigan, See by Chloe tank top, Fendi spy bag and for the life of god, I can't remember who made the jeans. It's definitely not the same brand that sued Jessica Simpson for $100 million dollars.

Damn expensivo camera. I friggin paid around US$650 for it. Living proof that electronics are fucking expensive in the third world. I searched for it on google and I could've saved around US$300 by buying it online. I found a site that sold it for US$365!!!! Oh well. I'm impatient and can't be bothered with all the shipping etc.

I also opened my Shu Uemura swag bag. I got lots and lots and lots of lovely things from them: a limited edition brush, skin purifier, lavender lip gloss, some highlighter for the eyes, even a 24K gold eyelash curler (I know I'm gay but I'm ***NOT*** that gay), some false eyelashes I can use the next time I morph into a dragon, and a limited edition compact case.

041006_shu2 

I looooooove love love love love love love love Shu!! I loooove it. I don't even have to be a beauty editor to get a lot of beauty products for free!

Someone around here has got to be beautiful you know. I'm sick of being the ugly duckling. I wanna be a SWANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Unfortunately, I wasn't blessed with the best of looks and I need all the help I can get. Hell, I even brought up the prospect of plastic surgery with a buddy.

bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:24:56): hoy do you know how long the healing time is if i get rhinoplasty done
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:02): i feel like i wanna get a nose job
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:03): haha RRRIGHT
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:09): i don't know
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:09): what
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:13): WHY
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:13): Y
hannah (10/04/2006 13:25:15): POR QUEEE
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:15): nothing
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:34): i mean, i wanna get a nose job, jawline job and chin whatever
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:25:44): i wanna be boootiful from all angles
hannah (10/04/2006 13:26:05): you are
hannah (10/04/2006 13:26:09): are the haters getting to you in all forms
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:13): nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:24): i've been reading too much tabloids recently
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:41): in fact, i bought 7 tabloids yesterday
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:26:49): star, us weekly, people, you name it

What was I thinking? You know I've always been proud of my nasty, hideous bulby nose (in addition to the fact that it also occupies a quarter of my face) and here I am thinking I should get a nose job. I reallllllly feeel unpretttttttttttttty!!!!

For god's sake someone please send me some vicodin or any hardcore painkiller out there. Not only I feel unpretty on the inside, I also feel unpretty on the outside! I heard vicodin can make the pain go away temporarily. I know Amanda Lepore take hers with champagne. I've never tried vicodin. In fact, I went to the pharmacy a couple of months ago and asked for it and the girl had no clue what it is.

hannah (10/04/2006 13:52:18): omg sedatives and cold champagne na drama mo?
translation: omg are you gonna take up sedatives and cold champagne?
bryanboy (10/04/2006 13:52:24): shut up
hannah (10/04/2006 13:52:25): marilyn monroe
hannah (10/04/2006 13:52:29): ikaw ba iteccch?
translation: is that you? (in a really slang gay way)

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from Paris, France (who doesn't?), Happy Valley, Hong Kong, Richmond, TAS Australia, Frankfurt, Germany, Pennsauken, NJ, Hicksville, NY, Jonkopping, Sweden, Dunedin, New Zealand, Notting Hill, London UK, Canberra, ACT Australia, Shanghai, China and all the fabulous people in Stuttgart, Germany. I love each and every one of you. Say hi, don't be shy.

#2 - I'm currently hooked with Karl Lagerfeld's whatever collection. A poshified version of Karl for H&M. I wanna get the tank top, the t-shirts, the shorts and the vest. Ohhh so effortless chic. Sooooo gorgeous and reasonably-priced. Vest is $225, tank top at $135 and the knee shorts are $175. Photo credit: Bergdorf  Goodman. I bet my silver chanel bowling bag will look good on that outfit.

041606_karl2

#3 - This is thinspiration at its finest. I love it. It's funny cause the more I surround myself with images of thin people, the more I find myself overeating and gaining weight. I miss my old body, goddammit!!! I GAINED 25 POUNDS IN THE PAST 4 MONTHS! I REALLY WANT TO BE ANOREXIC. GOD HELP ME. I KEEP ON TELLING MYSELF I'M FAT, FAT, FAT... I EVEN STARTED TAKING REDUCTIL AGAIN AND IT'S NOT WORKING.

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THIS IS ME BACK IN JANUARY.

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THIS IS ME NOW:

To hell with it.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO BE FUCKING SKINNY?

I think I'm gonna look at more thinspiration.

Email me: bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

If you email me nicely, I'm gonna pull an all-nighter and work on a new podcast. Time flies fast and it's been 2 months since I last did one.

I love you all.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

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