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January 25, 2006

The Stuff Brown Bitches Are Made of, Hannah Matronic Let's Get Married!, The Blossoming of Bryanboy

The Stuff Brown Bitches Are Made Of

Correct me if I'm wrong: American designer Michael Kors once said "anyone/everyone looks good with a tan." I think I read it from an old copy of In Style whilst having my pedicure at my local nail salon.

FYI, a good tan can hide some of your icky superficial flaws - scars, blemishes, zits, stretch marks, uneven color, etc. I'm sure there are a shitload of people like me who weren't graced with flawless skin so the next best thing to a skin transplant is getting a tan.

I'm currently using Lancaster for body & face and Nars bronzer (Laguna). Chanel has this old lip gloss (color 64) that will compliment your new look.

Lancaster must have changed their formulation because I looked friggin orange the last time I used it.

I must say they're good. It's like adobe photoshop in a can!!!!


Man, I really look different on this photo. I can't for the life of god decide whether I look older or younger.


I like my new color though.

Give me a week or two to bask in this self-tan obsession. Thank god it will be gone by the time I get sick of it.

Try it today! Get a fucking tan and turn yourself into a gorgeous islander native such as moi. Embrace your inner exotic and unleash the power of the color brown. Sephora carries a ton of self-tanning products, bronzers, etc.


I went to a nice little party yesterday at a friend's house because one of her friends is going back to San Francisco where he lives. His Name is Wilson and yes, he's the only guy in the world who SERVES caviar whenever he throws sex orgies. I'm definitely gonna miss him. Here's Wilson holding Tim's goodbye present.


Tim (the blonde Chinese guy) gave the gayest (and cutest) gift in the world!





Hannah Matronic Let's Get Married!

Hannah Matronic you cum-guzzling slut, let's get married. Soon.

Rescue me you fucking bitch.

I don't care if you marry me for my money... I'll even feed you with all the Chanel that you want until you shit long, brown turds with swarovski-encrusted interlocking CCs.

I joined this personals site yesterday called Guys4Men out of sheer boredom and yes, one of my friends were right - this site is good for entertainment value..

or shock, awe and horreur.

This 20-year old guy sent me a message out of nowhere asking me whether or not I want to suck his dick, right then and there.


Here's what I sent back.


I think I scared him off. I didn't get a reply afterwards.

Don't get me wrong. I would've given the poor kid a mind-blowing head job if:

a) he's got US$20,000,000 in liquid assets
b) he buys me dinner at L'Opera (one of my favourite restuarants in Manila).

The Blossoming of Bryanboy


One of my friends at the party mentioned this Filipino movie called The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros. I read about it somewhere online and it's only today that I searched for it.

Google came up with this independent review from

Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros (The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros) is a wonderful wonderful film that explores the purity of a 12 year old homosexual boy in the midst of the grittiness, corruption, and dirtiness of the slums of Metro Manila. Written by Michiko Yamamoto, who also scribed the charming award-winning tear-jerker Magnifico, Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros feels and sounds more mature without sacrificing Yamamoto's talent for putting into words and scenes the beauty of innocence and childhood.


Aureaus Solito, working with the little budget granted to him doesn't lose sight of artistry and integrity of storytelling. He doesn't delve into the politics of homosexuality, nor does he get tempted to exoticize or eroticize the blossoming of an openly homosexual teenager. He gears his camera towards the inherent kindness and purity of the soul of Maximo. He establishes little flickers of humanity and kindness in the faces of the petty criminals who Maximo regards as family. Maximo's father, the kingpin of the slums, the master cellphone snatcher is a refreshing character. While most other gay-themed films would portray the fathers as stern and homophobic, here, the father is loving, accepting, and entirely lovable despite his associations with criminal activity. Maximo's two elder brothers are also cellphone snatchers, yet despite their outwardly machismo, they take care of Maximo and accept him for what he really is. When Victor, a clean and honest cop, arrives in the slums, Maximo gets attracted and falls for the policeman. Their relationship provides the dilemma of the film wherein Maximo is trapped in the middle of his family's illegal source of income and his admiration for the stalwart cop. The film is entirely shot digitally which resulted in muted colors and pale blacks. Cinematographer Nap Jamir however makes most of the meager capabilities of digital filmmaking and intelligently and creatively creates shots that add much needed grittiness and intimacy to the film. Filipino rock legend Pepe Smith provides for a beautifully apt musical score mostly composed of guitar strummings.

That picture is sooo fucking hilarious I just had to dig up an old picture back when I was a child. I came up with this. I think I must have been 12 or 13 when this photo was taken... in Boracay Island.


Here's another not-so-recent photo of myself. The Dior top with the zip on the side is a giveaway as to what year this picture was taken.

I'm telling you... it's amazing what MONEY can do to a child these days.

AGEING is a word that should be abolished from the dictionary. However, it's moments like this that makes me glad I aged like fine fuckin wine.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Bryanboy loves people from London, UK, Frederiksberg, Denmark, Nagano, Japan, Pekin, IL, Istanbul, Turkey, Livonia, MI, Dulles, VA, Jordaan, Holland, Race Course Village, Singapore, York Mills, ONT Canada, Manama, Bahrain, Charlotte, NC, Warsaw, Poland, Garrel, Germany, Quinta Da Verdelha, Portugal, Tours, France, Endicott, NY, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and of course, all the beautiful boys who live in Ober Eschbach, Hessen Germany. I love, love, love you all. Talk to me you fuckin cunts.

#2 - I'm doing 2 LIVE (oh dear god) TV interviews this week. To save myself from the embarassment, no, I'm not telling when. And no, I'm not telling where either. You can channel surf your tv set all you want but I ain't telling you anything. I'll get one of my minions to take pictures of this historical moment though. The only thing I'm gonna wish for at this time is that Mercury Drug (the Philippines' biggest drug/pharmacy chain) better have a shitload of xanax ready for me. I'll take 10 pills before the interview and 20 pills after.

#3 - Suicide is the best way to deal with shame. If suicide doesn't work, emigrating to an unknown African town is the next best option. Masai beads, anyone?

#4 - Trust me, I'll BURN my snot-colored passport and stop going on sex tourism trips if all third world penises are as big as that. I came across this photo on Jenna's blog. I love Jenna!

# 5 - Bryanboy gives a big shout out to all the fabulous people at Penshoppe Juniors (Girl's/Teens Line) Creative Team. I love the fantastic pout on each and every one of your faces. You all look absolutely STUNNING!


I'll never forget those days back in the dark ages (aka mid 1990s) when a Penshoppe (or a Bench) hand towel is the accessory de rigeur of every middle class school child. I was soooo fuckin jealous of the mother fuckers. Half of my schoolmates had them in every color imaginable whereas I only had 2 of them cause my mom told me it's better to carry handkerchiefs and not hand towels to school.

Svtwins#7 - SOMEBODY STOP THE LIGHT!!!!! I'M ALREADY AT THE GLAMOROUS END OF THE TUNNEL!!!! I'm having even more flashbacks of my childhood. Who would've forgotten good ol' Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield? Jesus, god knows how much money I stole from my parents just to be able to buy the entire Sweet Valley Kids, Sweet Valley Twins, Sweet Valley High, Sweet Valley University book set little by little? (And yes, even the god damn Sweet Valley Slam Book) My former schoolmates won't let me borrow their books cause they think I'm not gonna return it. My dad thought my obsession with Sweet Valley was ridiculous AND frivolous - he wanted me to read HARDY FUCKIN BOYS.

He ended up being right though.

Sweet Valley was frivolous...

and I should've sticked with HARD BOYS.

Y'all know where to contact me mother fuckers.

Email or SMS +63-915-785-1492.

Remember: I love Sephora... and so should you!



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